When pickney careless wid dem tings

[kia027]

Re: When pickney careless wid dem tings

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: f0rTyLeGz</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">40 I do believe that yes children are different but I do think we can teach children to be organized (ie designate a spot for his items) and it should

some times things go well but other days lawd

so I think the key is motivation to do better </div></div>
I tried to avoid that &quot;Oh NO! NOT AGAIN!&quot; shame and embarrassment, and avoid making her wrong, and praised em when she got it right. Just saying... it seemed to work out okay.


</div></div>

I dont think it would be appropriate in this case because then I would be praising on the days he came home with his coat???

I do spot praise when I do see they did something good (like remember to pick up their stuff from the bathroom when they are done without me asking).


What I am thinking about doing is the following:

Write a schedule of things they are supposed to do in order to learn how to care for themselves.


<ul style="list-style-type: disc">[*]Make their bed after they get up[*]Put their towel, toiletries back where they belong when not using it[*]Make sure their backpacks are packed and ready the night before, all papers signed[*]lay out their clothes the night before[*]tidy up their room before bed (put books back, put clothes in hamper)[*]Brush teeth and wash face[/list]

These are things they are old enough to do without me giving a constant reminder (or so I think).

They will be granted an allowance and they will be able to keep 1/2 of their allowance for spending (the other half they must save). When I have to remind them on these items up above, they should pay me a nominal fee (amount tbd) as they are taking away time that I would have doing more interesting things with them (family game night, reading before bed, etc).

With this money they can earn , they (esp the boy at this point can use this to repurchase his itouch and phone)can learn a little more about money management.


Haven't finished thinking this through yet; please consider this <span style="font-style: italic">thinking out loud </span>

[kia027]

Re: When pickney careless wid dem tings

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ceabee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">what about when them leave them book that dem need for homework at school/

you woulda go for it? or just mek them suffer the consequences of not doing the homework? </div></div>


above 3rd grade I let them deal with the consequences. 3rd and below I go &amp; get it fi dem

[f0rTyLeGz]

Re: When pickney careless wid dem tings

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
I dont think it would be appropriate in this case because then I would be praising on the days he came home with his coat???

I do spot praise when I do see they did something good (like remember to pick up their stuff from the bathroom when they are done without me asking).

What I am thinking about doing is the following:

Write a schedule of things they are supposed to do in order to learn how to care for themselves.<ul style="list-style-type: disc">[*]Make their bed after they get up[*]Put their towel, toiletries back where they belong when not using it[*]Make sure their backpacks are packed and ready the night before, all papers signed[*]lay out their clothes the night before[*]tidy up their room before bed (put books back, put clothes in hamper)[*]Brush teeth and wash face[/list]These are things they are old enough to do without me giving a constant reminder (or so I think).

They will be granted an allowance and they will be able to keep 1/2 of their allowance for spending (the other half they must save). When I have to remind them on these items up above, they should pay me a nominal fee (amount tbd) as they are taking away time that I would have doing more interesting things with them (family game night, reading before bed, etc).

With this money they can earn , they (esp the boy at this point can use this to repurchase his itouch and phone)can learn a little more about money management.

Haven't finished thinking this through yet; please consider this <span style="font-style: italic">thinking out loud </span> </div></div>
I guess my advice is pretty useless really because I never had my kids make their beds, put toiletries in right spot, lay out clothes, or pack their stuff for the next day on the night before. And never had any tidying up rules. I'm not sure how they learned, but they did. They washed and brushed, but we never had to make them do it. They did their homework without battles. We never held back on allowances, or watched how they spent it, or made them save. They did grow up to be fine people, however. They graduated from high school, then graduated from college, and both have graduate degrees. They are happy, married, lots of friends, working and living well.

One thing though that we did that may seem pretty strange but worked for us was that when we moved into a house where each kid had their own room it was their room. They shut the door, and we didn't go in there. They were 7 and 8. They shared a room for a couple of years because they wanted that, but they just had to keep their stuff inside their room.

Sound bad? ... cause there's more.

[kia027]

Re: When pickney careless wid dem tings

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I guess my advice is pretty useless really because I never had my kids make their beds, put toiletries in right spot, lay out clothes, or pack their stuff for the next day on the night before. And never had any tidying up rules. I'm not sure how they learned, but they did. They washed and brushed, but we never had to make them do it</div></div>


You packed your middle school backpacks?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I'm not sure how they learned, but they did.</div></div> I think they learned from their friends


It is a cultural difference, I have friends from europe, africa, asia and latin america that teach their children the basics up above and they too grow up fine.

[Gen]

Re: When pickney careless wid dem tings

boal @ packing HS backpack

boal @ corduroy

[CeaBee]

Re: When pickney careless wid dem tings

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ceabee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">what about when them leave them book that dem need for homework at school/

you woulda go for it? or just mek them suffer the consequences of not doing the homework? </div></div>


above 3rd grade I let them deal with the consequences. 3rd and below I go &amp; get it fi dem </div></div>

the text books online now. we get the passwords today

technology

[annshan2]

Re: When pickney careless wid dem tings

<span style="color: #FF0000">use to be regular ting for my daughter but she kinda a grow-up now</span><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">is it a preteen thing?

or is dat im noh really care

the raincoat is just an example of many </div></div>

[kia027]

Re: When pickney careless wid dem tings

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ceabee</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ceabee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">what about when them leave them book that dem need for homework at school/

you woulda go for it? or just mek them suffer the consequences of not doing the homework? </div></div>


above 3rd grade I let them deal with the consequences. 3rd and below I go &amp; get it fi dem </div></div>

the text books online now. we get the passwords today

technology </div></div>

we only get passwords fi maths

[kia027]

Re: When pickney careless wid dem tings

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Annshan2</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="color: #FF0000">use to be regular ting for my daughter but she kinda a grow-up now</span><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">is it a preteen thing?

or is dat im noh really care

the raincoat is just an example of many </div></div> </div></div>

afta mi bringle mi notice an improvement and better sense of organization

[Gen]

Re: When pickney careless wid dem tings

seriously, for the past 3 years I just purchase multiple items of things cause mi cant badda \0/

2 weeks ago she lost her lunchbox.

no problem, I had a back up one (it old but it did the job)

the missing one was in the &quot;lost and found&quot; and even though she knew it was lost she kept on forgetting to go and find it ..I had to enter the school one morning to drag her over to Lost and Found

anyway multiple items of

gloves
scarves
jackets
umbrellas
raincoats

(cause yuh know by october dem a profile spring wear and yuh cant find nuh more unless you go do trial and error online shopping)

lunchbox
lunch containers
pencil box
etc.


you name it, I have multiples of it

[Gen]

Re: When pickney careless wid dem tings

dem have a math &quot;reference&quot; book that they usually send home each grade. this year ms teacher tell mi seh she nuh have enuff dem have to share

mi wont even post what mi want tell har


<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: PRoLurkah</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ceabee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">what about when them leave them book that dem need for homework at school/

you woulda go for it? or just mek them suffer the consequences of not doing the homework? </div></div>


above 3rd grade I let them deal with the consequences. 3rd and below I go &amp; get it fi dem </div></div>

the text books online now. we get the passwords today

technology </div></div>

[Jazz]

Re: When pickney careless wid dem tings

Nuh get mi started pon dis subjeck here

Mi jus tell Dan dis past weekend dat anyting mi fine fling dung careless is gonna get confiscated for a month... Dis after she lost har cellie and her ipod \o/ - any slobbishness gwine result in no tv for 2 weeks...

ah wah so man???

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: When pinckney careless wid dem tings

Do You find that there is a change for the worse? Did that change coincide with any other change in probably home, school, etc?
Some times the change relates to a feeling of .. well change in relationship?
OK OK I was just asking...<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Jazz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Nuh get mi started pon dis subjeck here :bawl out:

Mi just tell Dan dis past weekend dat anything mi fine fling dung careless is gonna get confiscated for a month... Dis after she lost har celie and her ipod \o/ - any snobbishness gwine result in no tv for 2 weeks...

ah wah so man??? :bawl out: </div></div>

[Jazz]

Re: When pinckney careless wid dem tings

No there was no change except that now she is older she is asking for more expensive things and I expect a greater level of responsibility from her. She know say tings nuh come easy an dem nuh cheap... an if she nuh realize it yet - mi ah go help har recanize it.

the only way we truly learn is through consequences and right now her lesson is that every action has a consequence. some temporary and some permanent.

BTW Dr. D why u change mi slobbishness to snobbishness???