Mi 9 yo niece...

[julie*mango]

wid di dysfunctional family....she fail ALL her classes. She is going to private school. She does piano lessons. They try to get her active in school clubs. But is like she still not retaining anything. A tell tale sign that she is being affected by all the problems in the household. Just recently one of her brothers OD'd on acid. Just today there was a huge fight between the 2 brothers. It is a daily thing. Ridiculous!

Mi talk to the father and tell him seh dem need fi put di boys out cah dem is over 18. Him seh him caan do dat cah dem nuh have nuh weh fi stay. So mi seh if him a go mek dem rule him an dem madda an mash up dem home an family. Nothing.

Hubby talked to the parents to see if they would let her live with us but of course the excuse was that the bus won't pick her up from where we are because we live in a different town. Even though I volunteered to pick her up and drop her off when her dad couldn't do it.

So the end result is that we have "custody" on the weekends from Friday to Sunday and she stays home from Monday to Friday for school.


*sigh*

[ILP]

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

perhaps you can use the time you do have on the weekends to show her how people really live. Spend the time loving her and working with her on how education will be her way out.

that's what i did with BabygirlA.

((((skelly))))

[Stormmey]

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

That's a tough call... ~hush~

short of getting Childrens Services involved what else can you do. I had to make a tough decision a couple years ago on my cousin and her husband in the best interst of those little girls.

Glad I did too!! some mothers are so worthless will stand by and see abuse and do nothing just to keep the man. btw this is in relation to my cousin and her daughters.

If that little girl (your cousin) is not removed from that situation or the brothers are not removed she will be all messed up

Blank at least you are providing some relief for her on the weekends

[Boricua_papi]

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

There could be other issues besides conditions within the household. Everything from dyslexia to Asperger's Syndrome to depression, etc.

[kia027]

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

you know.. the weekends are a start and if the parents see how well she thrives they may let you take her for a few school days and then on from there

(((skellyniece)))

[Peasie]

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: B_P</div><div class="ubbcode-body">There could be other issues besides conditions within the household. Everything from dyslexia to Asperger's Syndrome to depression, etc. </div></div>

I was thinking the same thing. The child needs to see the pediatrician first then go from there.

Tough one Skelly.

[Suesumba]

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: B_P</div><div class="ubbcode-body">There could be other issues besides conditions within the household. Everything from dyslexia to Asperger's Syndrome to depression, etc. </div></div>

agree. she needs to be assessed.

[chitowngirl]

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">the weekends are a start and if the parents see how well she thrives they may let you take her for a few school days and then on from there</div></div>
I started keeping my goddaugher from Friday evening through Sunday evening when she was three months old and continued to do so until the summer she turned five

it was definitely not easy and many times I wondered why in the world I was doing it

why? you ask? ... because the poor child would throw terrible tantrums and cry for hours when her father would come pick her up ... she would beg me to keep her longer it got so bad that her parents would actually call me during the week because she wouldn't eat and I would have to go over to their house to try and settle her down

her parents grew increasingly resentful of my relationship with their daughter it was horrible for everyone involved

[Gen]

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

agreed. Pediatrician. as well as assessment by special needs team.(pretty much a team of experts who can tell if she has any learning disability)

she needs psych eval.


<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: B_P</div><div class="ubbcode-body">There could be other issues besides conditions within the household. Everything from dyslexia to Asperger's Syndrome to depression, etc. </div></div>

agree. she needs to be assessed. </div></div>

[julie*mango]

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

she has been to the doc, and have had to go to therapy sessions. doubt she still seeing the therapist. I have asked before if they tested her for ADD or dyslexia and the mother kept going round and round so I don't want to pry if they gonna keep making their pride come in the way of helping their child. If I get a good idea of the cost of diagnosis then I will take her myself and have a full screening done.

[CeaBee]

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

ok. so she has always been like this in school?

from the original post i got that it wasn't the norm for her to fail her classes?

[chitowngirl]

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

continuing the story ...

When my goddaughter turned five, I offered to start keeping her Monday - Friday so she could attend a better school and also maintain a more stable home environment ... her parents weren't having it ... it caused even more sever problems than we were already having

very tough decision for me

EITHER: a) call child protective services OR b) remove my goddaughter and her entire family from my life

[chitowngirl]

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _______</div><div class="ubbcode-body">the mother kept going round and round so I don't want to pry if they gonna keep making their pride come in the way of helping their child. </div></div>
so it seems you're already getting resistance (I can relate) ... so sad ... how much help are they really going to allow you to give?

[Nylah]

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: chitown</div><div class="ubbcode-body">continuing the story ...

When my goddaughter turned five, I offered to start keeping her Monday - Friday so she could attend a better school and also maintain a more stable home environment ... her parents weren't having it ... it caused even more sever problems than we were already having

very tough decision for me

EITHER: a) call child protective services OR b) remove my goddaughter and her entire family from my life </div></div>

what did u decide chitown?

and did u know the root cause of why your godchild didnt want to return home?? That feels creepy as hell to me.

[julie*mango]

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ceabee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ok. so she has always been like this in school?

from the original post i got that it wasn't the norm for her to fail her classes? </div></div>
not all her classes...she has had problems with English for example and the mother always got her a tutor. But now it's all her classes. The teachers all say that she does not concentrate and is not focused. So I wonder if home problems getting overwhelming or she just has a learning disorder, or a combination of both.