Mi 9 yo niece...

**julie*mango** · 09-29-2009, 02:41 PM

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

which did you go with??

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: chitown</div><div class="ubbcode-body">continuing the story ...

When my goddaughter turned five, I offered to start keeping her Monday - Friday so she could attend a better school and also maintain a more stable home environment ... her parents weren't having it ... it caused even more sever problems than we were already having

very tough decision for me

EITHER: a) call child protective services OR b) remove my goddaughter and her entire family from my life </div></div>

**Gen** · 09-29-2009, 02:46 PM

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

i was going to comment earlier that this kind of relationship can be extremely draining suh i can see where (b) would be an option

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: chitown</div><div class="ubbcode-body">continuing the story ...

When my goddaughter turned five, I offered to start keeping her Monday - Friday so she could attend a better school and also maintain a more stable home environment ... her parents weren't having it ... it caused even more sever problems than we were already having

very tough decision for me

EITHER: a) call child protective services OR b) remove my goddaughter and her entire family from my life </div></div>

**chitowngirl** · 09-29-2009, 02:59 PM

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

blank ... I didn't insert my goddaugheter's story to take away from what's going on with your niece ... reading your current situation just brought it all back like it was yesterday

mi noh envy yuh

**ILP** · 09-29-2009, 03:58 PM

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

Skelly <span style="text-decoration: underline"><span style="font-weight: bold">you must</span></span> choose, but just remember that you have to follow through with whatever you choose, whether it be:

a. walk away
b. call protective services
c. fight for you niece
d. none of the above

You have to consider what may be involved (plus some). Are you willing to accept the impending consequences of whatever action you take?

Looking back on my situation with BabygirlA...there is so,so many things that I would have changed. I had no idea when I agreed to be her Godmother that things would turn out the way that they have. But of course I can say anything now, as BabygirlA is grown and for the most part will be gone for school..and it looks like I will be around for the duration.

On the point of school...so many factors impact a child and what "they are able to achieve in the classroom" In my career, I've had the displeasure of speaking with parents who genuinely love and want what is best for their child. I've had to be the messenger of bad news. When a teacher says, "Johnny isnt doing well and here is why I think so." Parents hear, "Johnny isnt doing well, so that means you are a bad parent." Education is the only profession where teachers are constantly questioned, requestioned and dismissed when professional opinions are offered. Parents always want to wait and "see how things go" when issues arise. How I end conversations with parents when see it going down the "I dont want deal with this road." I tell them, "Mr and Mrs. So & So, If Johnny were having heart issues what would you do?" 100% of the time they answer: "I would seek <span style="text-decoration: underline">immediate</span> medical attention Ms. ILP" and I go on to say...I am telling you that Johnny is having such an emergency (albeit an educational one). I let them know the ball is in there court.

(((skelly)))

**Seveen** · 09-29-2009, 04:28 PM

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

testing should be available through the school - maybe not private school - but abu was able to get tested that way - he has a special ed teacher - before school homework support (i don't remember how to do algebra)and tutoring after school - two times a week

he also receives support services during the day while in his regular classroom

he is also on Concerta which helps with the focus and concentration

his interim report was all A's and B's

help as much as you can - but i agree with ILP that it may impact the relationship you have with the parents - and not for the better

and i am not having anyone over 18 living in my house - it's either college, military or work and have your own apartment with roommates or otherwise

abu: mom when can i get a car
mom: when you buy it

abu: can't i use your car
mom: i need my car to get to work and make money

**kia027** · 09-29-2009, 04:35 PM

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _______</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ceabee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ok. so she has always been like this in school?

from the original post i got that it wasn't the norm for her to fail her classes? </div></div>
not all her classes...she has had problems with English for example and the mother always got her a tutor. But now it's all her classes. The teachers all say that she does not concentrate and is not focused. So I wonder if home problems getting overwhelming or she just has a learning disorder, or a combination of both. </div></div>

Skells who has the 'in' with the parents to discuss that their daughter is probably stressed and maybe will benefit from a change in environment?

**Gen** · 09-29-2009, 04:41 PM

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

nobody. the parents in a never ending state of denial, which makes having discussions with them pointless.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _______</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ceabee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ok. so she has always been like this in school?

from the original post i got that it wasn't the norm for her to fail her classes? </div></div>
not all her classes...she has had problems with English for example and the mother always got her a tutor. But now it's all her classes. The teachers all say that she does not concentrate and is not focused. So I wonder if home problems getting overwhelming or she just has a learning disorder, or a combination of both. </div></div>

Skells who has the 'in' with the parents to discuss that their daughter is probably stressed and maybe will benefit from a change in environment? </div></div>

**julie*mango** · 09-29-2009, 04:55 PM

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

zactly....her bredda did fi come stay wid wi wen him was 15 and go di sch by we fi get weh from di bad company deh so...an dem seh yea den last minute wen di kid did a bug out dem switch....

part a mi a seh mek dem gallang caa di whole a dem is doomed an will perish..but mi love di likkle girl like is mi own...from she lilly bit mi use to keep her an teach her fi read an write before she start school...all basic tings like fi cross di road an dem tings dere...mi all memba wen she use fi fraid fi use di toilet an bang up an dem wud a have her dere constipated like hell an nuh try coax her fi use bathroom...mi had her one weekend an she neva had di problem again...her mother always working an nuh ha dem kine a time fi her an her father aldoah him is a SAHD him nuh invest no time inna her cah him too busy a deal wid di two older bredda dem..

aye sah

**julie*mango** · 10-04-2009, 10:53 PM

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

jah know...mi neva realize it was gonna be this hard...

**CeaBee** · 10-04-2009, 11:10 PM

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

yes.

what happened?

**julie*mango** · 10-06-2009, 04:00 PM

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

imagine..not even proper table manners dem teach dem daughter...we sit and eat most meals together on the weekends...so mi get a chance fi observe her and she clap her mouth, slurp her drinks, etc...mi had was fi ask her if her madda neva tell her seh dat is bad manners...see seh no..ongly ting her madda tell her is fi nuh put her elbow pan ie table..but she seh her daddy still do it...

she follow me around everywhere! all when mi a go bathroom she stop short a coming in an continue going somewhere else...

all a night time she have to sleep wid di tv on..if mi turn it of she jump up out a her sleep an get up go walk inna di hallway den tun ie on back an go back to sleep.

**julie*mango** · 10-06-2009, 04:02 PM

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

den now wid di studying...she don't seem to focus well at all...she will remember something one minute then the next minute yu test her she nuh remember it at all...

all wid di maths...she had some real simple addition exercises but get few a di questions wrong all cah she thought she was doing something different...

**twiney** · 10-06-2009, 04:04 PM

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

She needs psych help fast fast ...this bigger than you Skells.

**julie*mango** · 10-06-2009, 04:04 PM

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

me see it ...mi see it....

her parents had her in therapy for a while and apparently dem tek her out....money issues i guess...

**twiney** · 10-06-2009, 04:06 PM

Re: Mi 9 yo niece...

This sound like she may even need meds along with the therapy ... would you be able to get her a full medical? How is her eating does she seem like she short of iron or so?

Mi 9 yo niece...

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