I've thrown in the towel

**mountaingal** · 07-12-2010, 10:45 AM

Re: I've thrown in the towel

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Yuri_</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I agree with the “be there for for her” but I have to say, I’m sorta of a “Jonetta Patton” when it comes to this kinda situation. I can’t see my self going to someone’s wedding that I feel is doomed or wrong or ill timed.

You can be supportive of someone without supporting their bad decisions.
</div></div>

sometimes the definition of a bad decision depends on where u are in the equation, i guess. dawta i think feels she knows all the pros and cons and is willing to take the risk due to love.

she knows i'm not in favour of her plans. well, until i conceded that nothing i said was going to make her change her mind. so i'm not opposed, as such, anymore, but am still very cautious and focussed on supporting her.

a nuff time we used to quarrel enuh, and she tell me now mi being unfair to him, and mi tell har mi no care, him anuh mi pickney mi no haffi be fair to him.

**nattydreadgirl** · 07-12-2010, 11:27 AM

Re: I've thrown in the towel

(((MGee))) I feel your pain, been there done that, heck I am still there and they are much older than 18. My take on it...it is their journey and they have to walk/live it.

**Wendy** · 07-12-2010, 11:42 AM

Re: I've thrown in the towel

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Pura_Vida_ILP</div><div class="ubbcode-body">plus, it means that she is progressing a normal and healthy pace.
if she was still up underneat you...that wouldan good, nuh true?

<span style="font-size: 8pt">*ahem (clearing throat and putting on professional cap)*</span>

now the tool is to continue the open lines of communication. dont shut her out. she needs you more than ever now. she might not come out and say it, directly, but the (once in a blue moon), "Hey, Mommie, [fill in the blank of boyfriend name] says, what do you think about that?" then you can help/guide her.

<span style="font-weight: bold">now, that the rational lecture is over...MG go cuss out di boy baxide ahn dash im outta you place. mek sure fi tell im daht if you as much as katch im on fi you side ah di street much less at you yaad, you will cut im raas.... </span>
</div></div>

BOAL Mi sey look how mi a read di tread wid a serious face til mi ketch yah soh . Dats right - afterall

Unu know bout di damsel in distress syndrome ..dis is di opposite of that .. where the young ladies think they can be the “care taker” of the <span style="font-style: italic">dude in distress</span>

And Peasie is right ..dat train left the station and destination unknown.. But keep that train on radar MG ..it may eventually come off its track on its own

**Hush Darlin** · 07-12-2010, 06:33 PM

Re: I've thrown in the towel

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Yuri_</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Just because you don't support your child's bad decisions and choices, doesn't mean you don't love them or don't love them unconditionally ...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SweetSsop</div><div class="ubbcode-body">MG den if dem married can your daughter file feem?
Girl you cannot choose fe dem
you jus have to mek dem mek dem owna mistake and learn
jus low dem
be there for her no matter what
this is jus a test of your unconditional love as a parent </div></div> </div></div>
den a wey paawt mi did sey she noh love ar dawta
dear fawda a heaben

**Q3210** · 07-12-2010, 06:48 PM

Re: I've thrown in the towel

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Pura_Vida_ILP</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">thanks kia.

him naw wuk caw im have immgration issues. im have student visa but neva finish im course.

</div></div>
o, crise.

it's the nurturer in the female, maybe, that might make your daughter think she can "help" him with her love.
</div></div>

He can be conning her into believing its a love thing, when the possibility is that he wants a marriage to help out his immigration issues.
Dont throw in the towel just yet ma`am.

**Suesumba** · 07-12-2010, 07:25 PM

Re: I've thrown in the towel

miss lady ... sigh ... your girls are so beutiful ... big sigh ...

**kia027** · 07-12-2010, 07:41 PM

Re: I've thrown in the towel

what country is he from? has your daughter read the stories of inter country love on this site and others? perhaps visa journey?

**Yuriatin** · 07-12-2010, 11:59 PM

Re: I've thrown in the towel

Come on Sweets - clearly I'm not suggesting MG doesn't luv her daughter - I'm simply asking - why do you say this is a test
of whether she loves her daughter unconditionally or not?

Am I misreading your post - please clarify if I am.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SweetSsop</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Yuri_</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Just because you don't support your child's bad decisions and choices, doesn't mean you don't love them or don't love them unconditionally ...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SweetSsop</div><div class="ubbcode-body">MG den if dem married can your daughter file feem?
Girl you cannot choose fe dem
you jus have to mek dem mek dem owna mistake and learn
jus low dem
be there for her no matter what
this is jus a test of your unconditional love as a parent </div></div> </div></div>
den a wey paawt mi did sey she noh love ar dawta
dear fawda a heaben </div></div>

**Hush Darlin** · 07-15-2010, 09:17 AM

Re: I've thrown in the towel

Yuri stop trying to say things I did not say
I dont know why u like to stir up ish around here
but I certainly wont be entertaining you on this one

**Yuriatin** · 07-15-2010, 09:37 AM

Re: I've thrown in the towel

Decaf, decaf, decaf ...

Not sure what you're talking about when you refer to "stir up ish around here" but if that's your take, you're surely entitled to it!

Anyway – am just commenting on your post about unconditional love and asking you to clarify what you mean.

Sweets – you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to – and I’m certainly not trying to say things you didn’t say.
<span style="font-style: italic">
Hence my asking you to clarify ...</span>

Just because someone questions or disagrees, doesn't mean they're attacking you or stirring things up ma.

**applepie** · 07-15-2010, 07:49 PM

Re: I've thrown in the towel

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: diabolical_Tanya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">MGee, it is better if you juss low har, if yu fight gainst them it will just push them closer together.

you raised her well, just have faith that eventually she will make the right choice </div></div>

a true enuh tanya. mi even seh to miself that mi haffi low har fi mek har own mistake.

she still haffi introduce him to har daddy. now that is the big test. so mi haffi a prepare miself fi support har, even if it turn out dat har puppa share my pov.
</div></div>

Agree.........You have to now practice diplomacy when dealing with this young man and her cause anything will start an argument. When love is supposely in play common sense gone through the window..........keeping lines of communication open will be very important.......and as dem say you haffi band you belly.

**mountaingal** · 09-29-2010, 06:56 PM

Re: I've thrown in the towel

well, it's a matter of the date now. yup.

am starting to prepare my skin for thickening. these are the kindest MIL jokes i've found.

<span style="font-style: italic">Fred and Rick were in a pub. Fred says to his mate, 'My mother-in-law is an angel.'
Rick replies, 'You're lucky. Mine is still alive.' </span>

<span style="font-style: italic">Paul: I was sorry to hear that your mother-in-law died. What was the complaint?
Phil: We haven't had any yet.</span>

how dem no have jokes bout fathers-in-law???

<span style="font-style: italic">When Roger came home, his wife, Norma, was crying. 'Your mother insulted me,' she sobbed.

'My mother?' spluttered Roger, 'How could she do that when she is on holiday on the other side of the world?'

'I know.' Norma gulped, 'But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious.'

'And?'

'At the end of the letter it was written:
Dear Norma , When you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son, Roger.'
</span>

actually, that last one is pretty funny...

**kia027** · 09-29-2010, 06:58 PM

Re: I've thrown in the towel

@ the bad jokes

and fi you babygirl getting married

so MGEE u gwine wear black to the wedding & start the MIL stereotype early?

**mountaingal** · 09-29-2010, 07:05 PM

Re: I've thrown in the towel

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
so MGEE u gwine wear black to the wedding & start the MIL stereotype early? </div></div>

umm... i've had a talking to from second dawta about my attitude. apparently a dawta getting married is seen by most people as a positive development, and i was gently encouraged to do same.

my mind is not really on frock still. am trying to get the ceremony to happen in church.

**kia027** · 09-29-2010, 08:14 PM

Re: I've thrown in the towel

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

umm... i've had a talking to from second dawta about my attitude. apparently a dawta getting married is seen by most people as a positive development, and i was gently encouraged to do same.

my mind is not really on frock still. am trying to get the ceremony to happen in <span style="font-weight: bold">church.</span>
</div></div>

Church MGEE? I am confused as I thought you were agnostic

I've thrown in the towel

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