stubborn hawd aize bad pickney

[missus_vegas]

richD pls dont come in dis chread ok. thanks in advance.


scenario ( happening as we speak too )

i call likkle miss to give her her smoothy.( note she no eat from she wake over 1 hr ago)
she holds the cup handle and i say "say thank you"
she boldly tell me two time to "leggi go" l(let it go)

i demand she say tanks she keep saying leggi go and mi walk weh wid the cup she bex wid mi and run gone bk pan veranda.
soon she comes back an tells me she want juice. i say r u ready to say thank you? she replies " mi no want it" wheel off and gone again.

this keeps going on and on an i am not giving it to her and she not saying thanks.

she goes and talks to the cat and i hear her saying to the cat "say thanks you" she a point her likkle finga inna di puss face and demanding it say tanks dwl

i call her again ask her to say tanks. now she is in my lap a friend me up. she still wont say it. she gone a her granpa gone ramp. him tell har fi say tanks. she says and i quote " nah say tankie mamma"

OMG wat am i to do with the child. starve har????? i know she hungry and she want the juice. dam i thought i was stubborn.

[missus_vegas]

i just picked her up and kissed her and ask her if she is going to say thanks. her reply " no nah say tanks"

as i am typing she is on my back saying leave compeetah dwl this isnt even funny.

i mean its food...its not a toy so how long can we hold out?

[CeaBee]

i would just give her har food. i remember when BB grandmother did try that with him at one point and all him did do was cry fi him food and wouldn't say thank u.

(but remember I'm a softie mommy...)

[missus_vegas]

well it got pretty nasty. after she see it wasnt working with me she went to her granpa and tell him she want tea. him come tell mi dis so i give him the juice to try her again and tell him dont give her unless she say tanks. she still never say it. she stawt to put dung wan piece a cow bawling. granpa wanted to give in i said no. i sat and watched her cry and cry until i wanted to cry but i kept it together somehow. lol.

crying turned into a tantrum. rolling on the floor....think this was her first roll on the floor stunt. i was about to just give in then i remember i read somewhere dat it say u if ur gonna give in then u need to do so b4 the tantrum. if u give in in order to stop the tantrum then the child thinks the trantrum was effective. so i sat there and watched praying she dont hurt herself.

smaddy walk pass the gate as saw/heard her and called out asking wat wrong. not sure if she got embarrassed or wah but she got up and an ran into my arms. we cuddled and she calm dung and fell asleep.

i have no choice but to feed her wen she wakes up tanks or no tanks.

she does say thanks on her own but she is not consistent. i praise her whenever she does. normally when i tell her to say thanks she doesnt do it but i never withhold tings. i normally just tell her she is supposed to do it an let her be. what got me this morning was she facety enough to tell me fi let it go....dat simple mean if she renk enough to say that then she very well knows how to say thank you.

[CeaBee]

ok. for mommy vegas

[missus_vegas]

i was just told that its not her fault. at 4 yrs old her dad ran away from home an walked over 3 km to his grandparents home with his clothes in a plastic bag. apparently him did get beating at home an wasnt gonna stand for nemore. And that was the first of many run a way trips dwl. so guess i am screwed.

[applepie]

next time give her the juice and stap de fart! she will learn fe say thank you when she ready.

[Peasie]

next time give her the juice and stap de fart! DWL she will learn fe say thank you when she ready.

true words.

You have always been the source of her sustenance, her needs, and even her wants. You love her blindly and she loves you back. She was confused as to why you are doing this when every other day you offer her juice without this "say thank you" thing.

And don't blame her daddy too much she is so much like you

You are a good mommy, Vegas. Hugs.

[kia027]

She will be just fine when she wake up. Give her the juice.. Hold the thank yous for toys or other things not food

[Gen]

what them seh. not for food



leff the child alone. just keep saying it each time you feel it is appropriate ( she doesn't have to repeat it, but she she is processing it) months down the road she will start to buss out with it on her own.

[missus_vegas]

[Tropicana]

If she is this out of control at such a young age, what will you do with her by the type she becomes a teenager. You have posted about problems with her before. There is no such thing as a bad hawd aize pickney. Just parents who have indulged them.

I suggest you get a child care worker or early childhood educator come in and work with the two of you a couple of times a week. They are very effective and will help you get results really quickly. They can point you in the right direction to find resources in your area:

http://www.nysafsa.org/

and

http://www.cfsbny.org/

Good luck!

[Peasie]

Oh lawd

[Nunya]

Missus V: Why yuh blaming de child's behaviour pon poor Mr V???? Wha bout yuh??? PAYBACK IS A BYATCH!!!! *pinting finga an a laff* Memba all dem heartache yuh used to cause when yuh was a chile??? uh uh... I'm sorry but I'ma say it: A GOOD!!!!

Anyway, hush

It will take time but this will definitely work: Make sure you, hubby, grandpa and whoever else is constantly around her, always, ALWAYS say 'thank you'. They must say it clearly (without looking at her - caw she smart enough fi knoa say a she oonuu a drap word pon ~lol~), cheerfully and frequently. It must become a pattern in your household. Before you know it, she'll be saying it too.

After she says it, always say 'You're welcome'. Don't praise her for saying thank you. By doing that you're making it seem as though it's an event. Just say 'You're welcome' and move on. Just like you would to everyone else in your household (oh yeah, memba say everybady need to say 'you're welcome' clearly, cheerfully etc etc).

Then it will become the norm for her and when she gaa road, she won't embarrass yuh or people won't say yuh nah raise har right (see poas uppa tap - mi a dead to raas) .

[MsExced]

hush vegas you got great advice from the majority...parenting is not an easy job mi dear