Alimony

[nattydreadgirl]

Wanted to hear some other people thoughts on this scenario:

Couple Married for 20 years.

No children.

Own Property (have come to mutual agreement to sale)

Both have been on their jobs for 20+ years.

Both parties have retirement funds.

Wife salary is $42K per year. (moving up the corporate ladder)

Husand salary $70K per year. (lots of overtime) no upward movement in sight for him.

Wife has attorney.

Husband does not have legal counsel. (head in the sand)

They had originally agreed that they would sale the house, divide the proceeds, not go after each others retirement. Alimony was not discussed.

Now wife wants half of his retirement and alimony.

[Bandana]

Re: Alimony

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: nattydreadgirl</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

They had originally agreed that they would sale the house, divide the proceeds, not go after each others retirement. Alimony was not discussed.

Now wife wants half of his retirement and alimony.
</div></div>


Why the change? Did he do something to make her mad? She see the 401k statement and greed a tek her?

I think messy divorces cost more in grief than the money is worth...

Make him angry and he could take his head out of the sand and decide to make her life miserable.

If she can live comfortably on her own salary and be done with it... I say leff im an his money in peace.

[nattydreadgirl]

Re: Alimony

I was surprised when she stated that she was going after his retirement and alimony. Previously, she had stated that since they both have retirement it would be a fair exchange, she would not get any of his nor he any of hers.

The alimony part is what blew me away. She doesnt need the alimony.

Bitterness and a whole lot of anger I think has brought about the change of heart, she said that her Attorney said she was entitled to the alimony and percentage of his retirement, so that is what she is using as justification along with other stuff.

Now this is the same person that talk plenty of ish about a next friend that was asking for alimony. She was going on and on about how she could not believe how this woman was taking husband to the cleaners ray ray ray.

IMHO she wants to make him suffer, however, that negative energy is surely to come back on her.

I am so hoping that he takes his head out of the sand and hire him a attorney.

[Bandana]

Re: Alimony

aye sah...

It's a good thing dem noh have kids Natty


Divorce can do crazy things to people


I have a friend I have known since I was 12 and I love her dearly... but <span style="font-style: italic">man</span> her divorce is just <span style="font-weight: bold">ugly</span>, and I feel she bring half of it on herself with her bitterness and being unwilling to compromise

I was never married, but I am thankful that Imanni's Dad and I have been able to respect each other enough to remain &quot;friends&quot; and not make things more complicated and hurtful out of spite


Actually my situation was probably less messy <span style="font-weight: bold">because</span> we never married


Attorneys make nuff money by putting these &quot;your entitled to&quot; thoughts in hurt people's heads

[UKBlackLady]

Re: Alimony

If its duked out in court, any more that she wins will just go to the attorney.

Why bother?

My first husband: I walked out and left everything! Didn't fight for a thing. I just wanted him gone. It was hard work, but I rebuilt my material life and everything I have is mine that *I* worked for. To me there is no greater satisfaction.

[nattydreadgirl]

Re: Alimony

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: YuhSiMi</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">If its duked out in court, any more that she wins will just go to the attorney. </span>Why bother?

My first husband: I walked out and left everything! Didn't fight for a thing. I just wanted him gone. It was hard work, but I rebuilt my material life and everything I have is mine that *I* worked for. To me there is no greater satisfaction. </div></div>

She cant see that, she is so blinded by bitterness that she wants to hurt him.

The sad thing is that she has no more reason to be hurt/angry/bitter than he does. Trust me when I say the both of them have done dirt in this marriage.

One of her most recent complaints is that he is money hungry,selfish, materialistic yadda yadda yadda, but she cant see that in herself?

I just think that the whole alimony/retirement thing sucks big time!

My first marriage we had just purchased our house about 2years prior to separating, I walked away with my kids to everyones shock! My peace of mind and happiness is much more precious to me than any material stuff and still is today!

Both of these people are very close to me. I am seeing her in a different way. I dont know, just thought she would show more maturity at this stage of her life.

[UKBlackLady]

Re: Alimony

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: nattydreadgirl</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My first marriage we had just purchased our house about 2years prior to separating, I walked away with my kids to everyones shock! <span style="font-weight: bold">My peace of mind and happiness is much more precious to me than any material stuff and still is today!</span> </div></div>

Exactly what I did! You are so <span style="font-style: italic"><span style="font-weight: bold">very</span></span> right Concentrate on yourself and the happiness of your children. Life is waaay too short to be fighting over material things, waaaay too short.

[applepie]

Re: Alimony

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Now wife wants half of his retirement and alimony.</div></div>

Want all..........loose all........remind me of the story the dog with the bone.

[nattydreadgirl]

Re: Alimony

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: applepie</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Now wife wants half of his retirement and alimony.</div></div>

Want all..........loose all........remind me of the story the dog with the bone.
</div></div>

Dont think I heard that story. Sounds like it has a good dose of wisdom.

[Gen]

Re: Alimony

famous little parable taught to us as children.

the dog was walking either along/across a river..if he was across then he must have been on a bridge..

anyway, he had a bone in his mouth. he then saw his reflection in the water and decided he wanted THAT bone too (the one in his very mouth)

a think when he went after the bone in the reflection his real bone drap outa him mouth and he ended up with NO bone

[H_O]

Re: Alimony

why you think they call it &quot;alimony&quot;

ALL YOUR MONEY

[Bizzy]

Re: Alimony

<span style="font-weight: bold">The Dog and the Bone</span>

An Aesop Fable



A dog once had a large bone that his master had given him. As he trotted off to enjoy it, he went across a bridge across a river. He looked down into the water and saw another dog.

The other dog was also carrying a bone in his mouth. The dog stopped to look. The other dog’s bone was bigger than his bone. He dropped his bone and lunged for the other dog’s bone. His bone fell into the water with a splash. The dog fell into the water and struggled to shore. As he climbed out of the water, he realized how stupid he had been.


<span style="font-style: italic"><span style="font-weight: bold">
It is very foolish to be greedy.</span></span>

[Diplomat]

Re: Alimony

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: nattydreadgirl</div><div class="ubbcode-body">IMHO she wants to make him suffer, however, that negative energy is surely to come back on her. </div></div>
Tell her before she embarks on her journey of revenge, she should dig two graves. Whatever satisfaction she thinks she will achieve will be pretty shallow and her actions will bring to the fore the dark side of herself that she is so critical of in others.

[Jazz]

Re: Alimony

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: YuhSiMi</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If its duked out in court, any more that she wins will just go to the attorney.

Why bother?

My first husband: I walked out and left everything! Didn't fight for a thing. I just wanted him gone. It was hard work, but I rebuilt my material life and everything I have is mine that *I* worked for. To me there is no greater satisfaction. </div></div>

SHAke mi han &gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt; I did the same exact thing - all i wanted was my peace of mind - and like yourself I was able to rebuild financially ON MY OWN... I am so much a better person and in abetter place since that day I walked out... he still is miserable person - nuten him touch cyaan prosper sake ah him negative energy and badmine - and den him wonda why him cyaan strive. Mi nat even tek him fe chile support to this day (he does give me avery small amount for her - which we agreed upon years ago)- jus lef him to God an karma.

Natty - your friend is going to allow herself to be consumed by bitterness and all wen she get the money she still won;t be happy. If she is earning decent money I don;t see why she wants alimony 0 just doesn;t seem fair to me.

[Fyah]

Re: Alimony

GREED. Plain and Simple. Her greed is going to cause her to end up with nothing.