Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

**Dr.Dudd** · 04-07-2009, 07:19 PM

Re: Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sukuna</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dr.Dudd</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Diabolical_Tanya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I know some very good looking men who have good careers and other things going for them and they have low self esteem. or they are socially akward/shy. Nuff a dem spent their formative year wid dem head inna txt book an now dat dem can relax likkle dem noh know how fi talk to women

my 4th floor boys </div></div>Probably their mothers did not lavish them with praise when they were growing up.
It is said that low self esteem in children are co-related to the psychological support they recieved from their parent, of the opposite sex, when they were kids. </div></div>

And the females if this were the case? Should it have been from the opposite sex, Tropicana did do well without it. Should it be from their fathers? It depends on the society. Wa mek everybody a generalize this so? </div></div>
It is from the opposite sex parent.

How you know that Trpoi did well without it?

**Dr.Dudd** · 04-07-2009, 07:24 PM

Re: Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">But one never sees articles in men's magazines about self-esteem and I see a lot of men who are HUGLY and unaccomplished and think they are God's gift to women. </div></div> How do you know that behaving that way is evidence of high self esteem?

**rufian** · 04-07-2009, 07:27 PM

Re: Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dr.Dudd</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
It is from the opposite sex parent.

How you know that Trpoi did well without it? </div></div>
Should have been a you understood case.

Anyways, I do not agree that this only based on the opposite sex parents. The peers are also important. And it brings back the question of the society because, if about 75% of Caribbean household having children out of wedlock then it questions the source of high self esteem where our women are concerned. The fathers are not very prominent in such families.

In fact, it is the absence of the dominant father figure that heightens the self esteem of our women.

**Tropicana** · 04-07-2009, 07:29 PM

Re: Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

My cute and cuddly centipede. Why are you trying to pick a fight with me? You KNOW that I love you dearly.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...no matter HOW MUCH a woman has going for her, many still struggle. They could be attractive, intelligent, educated, articulate, talented, and successful yet STILL there is a struggle for many. </div></div>
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: f0rTyLeGz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">So high self esteem has nothing to do with being attractive, intelligent, educated, articulate, talented, or successful. </div></div>

My point is that one would expect a woman with those qualities to be really confident had have a high level of self-esteem. Based on what some women say in interviews and how they let the men in their lives treat them, this does not seem to be the case in some instances. Is that confidence, bravado....what would YOU call it? (That question is for anyone.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
<span style="font-style: italic">Contract(sic) this with men.</span> One doesn't see too many articles (or any for that matter) in men's magazines dealing with self-esteem.</div></div>
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: f0rTyLeGz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
So men have higher self-esteem than men because YOU don't see articles about that topic in Men's Mags? Give me a break! </div></div>

Not that is just an example. I am talking about how some men that most people would consider to be total loser (e.g. Vince Acors) seem to have an ABUNDANCE of confidence and see themselves as stud muffins and God's gift to the world. It's how they carry themselves me a deal wid.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
...if a guy is REALLY hot looking I amuse myself by pushing his buttons until he freaks out and I am VERY effective at doing it too. Then I I just love to get under that unflappable, in conrol exterior.</div></div>

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: f0rTyLeGz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">So DEEP! "Hot looking" in your world equals high self esteem? </div></div>

NO!!! I am talking about really hot looking guys who swagger around with this cool, unflappable exterior exuding confidence. I just LOVE to shake them up and make them freak out. All of a sudden...I got de power.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: f0rTyLeGz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You should read what you have written Tropi. Men with high self esteem are "hot looking," "unflappable," and "in control. </div></div> Really. Well men who are like that give out the impression that they think they are hot stuff and no one can touch them.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> But you are able to "get under" that illusion! Let me assure you that there is nothing that is a bigger turn-off that a person of the opposite sex, who is hell bent on making you wrong. </div></div>

How is that making a guy wrong? If he is struting around like he thinks he is so hot, you better believe I am going to ruffle his feathers and make him freak out if I can. In terms of that being a turn off, I would never do that to a guy in whom I had an interest. I would only do that if I wasn't interested or if I felt I didn't have a crack at him. In that case, freak him out yes.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: f0rTyLeGz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Self esteem is an emotion, a FEELING. It is a feeling that you know what is going on here.

</div></div>

I agree but I am curious. What word would you give to decribe these guys who strut around like they think they are so hot.

Look at the end of this tape and listen to what the Gong says about his relationships with women. Listen from about 2:32, watch the body language and facial expression and listen to his tone of voice and expression.

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**neutral** · 04-07-2009, 07:31 PM

Re: Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sukuna</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dr.Dudd</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
It is from the opposite sex parent.

How you know that Trpoi did well without it? </div></div>
Should have been a you understood case.

Anyways, I do not agree that this only based on the opposite sex parents. The peers are also important. And it brings back the question of the society because, if about 75% of Caribbean household having children out of wedlock then it questions the source of high self esteem where our women are concerned. The fathers are not very prominent in such families.

In fact, it is the absence of the dominant father figure that heightens the self esteem of our women. </div></div>

But wasnt tropi` talking about women in general,not just afro caribbean/black women.

**Tropicana** · 04-07-2009, 07:34 PM

Re: Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">How do you know that behaving that way is evidence of high self esteem? </div></div>

I don't know for sure that it is. To me it comes across that the guy thinks he is pretty hot stuff. Look at the tape I posted of Bob Marley for example. Is that how it comes across to men when they see other men behaving that way? I'm curious.

**Tropicana** · 04-07-2009, 07:37 PM

Re: Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Anyways, I do not agree that this only based on the opposite sex parents. The peers are also important. And it brings back the question of the society because, if about 75% of Caribbean household having children out of wedlock then it questions the source of high self esteem where our women are concerned. The fathers are not very prominent in such families.

In fact, it is the absence of the dominant father figure that heightens the self esteem of our women. </div></div>

Well this is interesting. The literature would tend to say the exact opposite Sukuna. Also, maybe the reason these women end up having so many children out of wedlock is that they are craving male attention.

I think what you are referring to is independence and self-sufficiency. That comes of neccesity and I don't believe that it is neccesarily an indicator of high self-esteem.

**rufian** · 04-07-2009, 07:38 PM

Re: Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: neutral</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sukuna</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dr.Dudd</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
It is from the opposite sex parent.

How you know that Trpoi did well without it? </div></div>
Should have been a you understood case.

Anyways, I do not agree that this only based on the opposite sex parents. The peers are also important. And it brings back the question of the society because, if about 75% of Caribbean household having children out of wedlock then it questions the source of high self esteem where our women are concerned. The fathers are not very prominent in such families.

In fact, it is the absence of the dominant father figure that heightens the self esteem of our women. </div></div>

But wasnt tropi` talking about women in general,not just afro caribbean/black women. </div></div>

===============================
Not to what I asked her. And women are not women. White ooman different
What I say apply to African American women as well

**Tropicana** · 04-07-2009, 07:39 PM

Re: Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">But wasnt tropi` talking about women in general,not just afro caribbean/black women. </div></div>

Other than the study I cited earlier with Jamaican teenagers, I haven't seen any studies related specifically to Caribbean people. The study with Jamaican teens did reveal a number of issues and concerns. The study was done in the 1970s and I don't know if it has been updated.

**neutral** · 04-07-2009, 07:39 PM

Re: Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Look at the tape I posted of Bob Marley for example. Is that how it comes across to men when they see other men behaving that way? I'm curious. </div></div>

Naw,me personally if I see a guy acting cocky I just think to myself. "what a tit".

**Dr.Dudd** · 04-07-2009, 07:43 PM

Re: Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

It is not the dominance that infliences self esteem far from it.
It is rather the admiration loving support and opportunity to hine their manipulative skills of a member of the oppositesex. everytime a child is succesful at manipulating a parent with positive means, it increases their self esteem.
when it is the parent of the opposite sex, it is twice as effective.

**rufian** · 04-07-2009, 07:44 PM

Re: Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Anyways, I do not agree that this only based on the opposite sex parents. The peers are also important. And it brings back the question of the society because, if about 75% of Caribbean household having children out of wedlock then it questions the source of high self esteem where our women are concerned. The fathers are not very prominent in such families.

In fact, it is the absence of the dominant father figure that heightens the self esteem of our women. </div></div>

Well this is interesting. The literature would tend to say the exact opposite Sukuna. Also, maybe the reason these women end up having so many children out of wedlock is that they are craving male attention.

I think what you are referring to is independence and self-sufficiency. That comes of neccesity and I don't believe that it is neccesarily an indicator of high self-esteem. </div></div>
Lord we too mixup. Which literature?
The literature say that African-American women have low esteem. You said otherwise, I have always read otherwise.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Also, maybe the reason these women end up having so many children out of wedlock is that they are craving male attention.</div></div>
Typical for women in a male oriented society. The women are the weaklings

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I think what you are referring to is independence and self-sufficiency. That comes of neccesity and I don't believe that it is neccesarily an indicator of high self-esteem. </div></div>
And that is where you need to come again. Because firstly you generalized. You cannot find a global indicator for self-esteem. And I never said that those two things are indicators, anything can be an indicator for high self esteem depending on the society and self.

I wonder how you see Condeleeza Rice. High or Low self esteem?

**Dr.Dudd** · 04-07-2009, 07:49 PM

Re: Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

Condilezza,.... Low self esteem.

**rufian** · 04-07-2009, 07:49 PM

Re: Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dr.Dudd</div><div class="ubbcode-body">It is not the dominance that infliences self esteem far from it.
It is rather the admiration loving support and opportunity to hine their manipulative skills of a member of the oppositesex. everytime a child is succesful at manipulating a parent with positive means, it increases their self esteem.
when it is the parent of the opposite sex, it is twice as effective.
</div></div>

Furthermore, both parents are necessary for this and not just the opposite sex.
Are you saying that a male child's self-esteem will suffer more from the absence of his mother than his mother?

**rufian** · 04-07-2009, 07:50 PM

Re: Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dr.Dudd</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Condilezza,.... Low self esteem. </div></div>
How come?

Men vs Women and Self-Esteem

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