Is this a cop out

[applepie]

or what.........leaving will hurt/tramatize (sp) the child/children more.......in the meantime......

a) Behind two payments in mortgage
b) No explaination as to what happen to some of the money in joint account.
c) Living like room mates
d) verbal abuse.......and the striking list goes on......

<span style="font-style: italic">mi no understand that ratinale if a dat you a live wid </span>

[Bizzy]

Re: Is this a cop out

worse reason to stay together is 'for the kid(s)'

[Nylah]

Re: Is this a cop out



drives me nuts when ppl chat this [censored] as the reason to stick together. All u do is jack up ur kids cause u show them what it means to be in an unhealthy relationship.

Then when they need therapist or have major daddy issues we are surprised

but hey, nuff ppl think having 2 parents at ANY COST is in the best interest of the child.

[Bink - the Only]

Re: Is this a cop out

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BiziBubbla</div><div class="ubbcode-body">worse reason to stay together is 'for the kid(s)'

</div></div>

is that worse than staying together for the sex? (sorry that is a limited time smiley i must use)

[Emperah]

Re: Is this a cop out

how bout wah mi hear nuff ppl a wukk seh...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">cheaper to keep her</div></div>

[Nylah]

Re: Is this a cop out


sorry i would take peace of mind over money any day.

[Emperah]

Re: Is this a cop out

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
sorry i would take peace of mind over money any day. </div></div>

well of course these &quot;men&quot; are looking at what they'd have to give up if them go troo a divorce.

[Nylah]

Re: Is this a cop out

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: dahJahPawtTwo</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
sorry i would take peace of mind over money any day. </div></div>

well of course these &quot;men&quot; are looking at what they'd have to give up if them go troo a divorce. </div></div>

and like I said, u cant buy peace of mind...just think she will drive the man to stress and him drop down from a heart attack before he is 45 and she get ALL of the estate then....yeah soooooo worth what ever they get

ppl make the wrong things a priority and then expect sympathy for it.

[applepie]

Re: Is this a cop out

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BiziBubbla</div><div class="ubbcode-body">worse reason to stay together is 'for the kid(s)'

</div></div>

fe some strange reason dat not seem to be taking any effect everytime mi mention it......so no mi just a ask what example are you setting for the child or showing.......and the answer is......it is not as easy as it seems

[applepie]

Re: Is this a cop out

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

Then when they need therapist or have major daddy issues we are surprised

but hey, nuff ppl think having 2 parents at ANY COST is in the best interest of the child. </div></div>

Madness I telling you.......

[Bizzy]

Re: Is this a cop out

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: bink</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BiziBubbla</div><div class="ubbcode-body">worse reason to stay together is 'for the kid(s)'

</div></div>

is that worse than staying together for the sex? (sorry that is a limited time smiley i must use) </div></div>
no das a good one

[Suesumba]

Re: Is this a cop out

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: applepie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
a) Behind two payments in mortgage
b) No explaination as to what happen to some of the money in joint account.
c) Living like room mates
d) verbal abuse.......and the striking list goes on......
</div></div>


a. if he's responsible from making the house payments and now youe're 2 payments behind, chances it will increase to six months with still no explanation.

b. if you're living like roommates, chances are you're not having any sex and he's getting it elsewhere and squandering the house money entertaining someone else.

c. the verbal abuse and the other stinking stuff is his way of forcing you to make a choice. i'm sure this wasn't the case at first. i would guess he already got what he wanted from you and is ready to move on.

if i was in your shoes i would open an account of my own, save, save and move out with the kid(s). easier said than done, but be sure that the bank will be instituting mortgage relief remedies after 3 payments are missed and depending on how you face the situation, you'll be forced out of the house at some point. if you think you can make up the shortfall, through a temp loan and you can convince him to go on his way, then do that, but it's not easy no matter which way you look at it.

the kid(s) would be better served without the poisonous atmosphere. if he's squandering money that keeps a roof over your head with such aplomb, chances are you're not in it to get a penny despite any judgments against him. it's not worth it.

[applepie]

Re: Is this a cop out

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: applepie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
a) Behind two payments in mortgage
b) No explaination as to what happen to some of the money in joint account.
c) Living like room mates
d) verbal abuse.......and the striking list goes on......
</div></div>


a. if he's responsible from making the house payments and now youe're 2 payments behind, chances it will increase to six months with still no explanation. <span style="color: #3366FF">as far as I know it suppose to be fifty/fifty but he seems to always come up short........her check is direct deposit </span>

b. if you're living like roommates, chances are you're not having any sex and he's getting it elsewhere and squandering the house money entertaining someone else. <span style="color: #3333FF">I think she is in serious denial about this.........she express that she think there is someone else but either wont pursue it to find out?? </span>

c. the verbal abuse and the other stinking stuff is his way of forcing you to make a choice. i'm sure this wasn't the case at first. i would guess he already got what he wanted from you and is ready to move on.

if i was in your shoes i would open an account of my own, save, save and move out with the kid(s). easier said than done, but be sure that the bank will be instituting mortgage relief remedies after 3 payments are missed and depending on how you face the situation, you'll be forced out of the house at some point. if you think you can make up the shortfall, through a temp loan and you can convince him to go on his way, then do that, but it's not easy no matter which way you look at it.

the kid(s) would be better served without the poisonous atmosphere. if he's squandering money that keeps a roof over your head with such aplomb, chances are you're not in it to get a penny despite any judgments against him. it's not worth it. </div></div> <span style="color: #3333FF"> I suggested that and even had another friend who had a empty condo was willing to help, but wont make the move.......too afraid........mi no know yah. </span>

[CeaBee]

Re: Is this a cop out

how long she been living like this?

maybe in six months or a year she look back and cant believe that she it took her so long to make a move.

[britisha]

Re: Is this a cop out

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: applepie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">or what.........leaving will hurt/tramatize (sp) the child/children more.......in the meantime......

a) Behind two payments in mortgage
b) No explaination as to what happen to some of the money in joint account.
c) Living like room mates
d) verbal abuse.......and the striking list goes on......

<span style="font-style: italic">mi no understand that ratinale if a dat you a live wid </span> </div></div>

What about temporary separation and counselling?


Divorce DOES traumatise children, and opens a new can of worms.