memo to blakk oomen: git real

**kia027** · 09-08-2009, 01:47 PM

Re: memo to blakk oomen: git real

Well i do agree with the fact that it is not education and a successful material that makes a woman wife material. It is about the core values she possesses. It is the core values and beliefs that will also make a man, marriageable material as well.

**blugiant** · 09-08-2009, 02:09 PM

Re: memo to blakk oomen: git real

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

Well i do agree with the fact that it is not education and a successful material that makes a woman wife material. It is about the core values she possesses. It is the core values and beliefs that will also make a man, marria geable material as well. </div></div>

soo yu tink itt bout blakk oomen core values y more blakk men doan putt a ring pon itt? wat bout de argument da writa mekkinn dat blakk oomen tink too iighlee aff demselves dat y a latt aff dem natt gittinn married?

wen mii wass goinn fii mii master mii wass flirtinn widd diss afrikkan ladee. mii cood tell shii wass reallee into mii butt shii tunn mii ask bye seyinn dat shii wass real xxpensive. mii ask ar iff dat mean mii wood affii buy ar faddar tree cows iff mii wanted fii marry ar

**chitowngirl** · 09-08-2009, 02:17 PM

Re: memo to blakk oomen: git real

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: blakkgiant</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">Memo to Black Women: Get Real!</span></div></div>
<span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="font-size: 14pt">Memo to Black Men: Grow Up!</span></span>

I love Jimi Izrael, and I cannot wait to read his forthcoming book, The Denzel Principle, but <span style="font-weight: bold">I have to take issue with his piece last week titled, "Memo to Black Women: Get Real."</span> Did I sense a bit of anger or something going on? Let me say this about the line "lose the high ideals and get your priorities in order." Ouch!

<span style="font-weight: bold">When you look objectively and honestly at the sorry statistics that Jimi cites in his piece, you see that the problem is not with the sisters.</span> Sisters are excelling--they are outperforming--they are handling their business in all aspects of their lives except one--in our relationships with our black men. Why is that? It can no doubt be a two-way street--with enough shared blame to go around. For what my two cents is worth--I do not fit the stereotypical educated, high-earning black female. I do not live in an urban area. I do not drive a BMW. I am not overweight (5' 3'', 110 lbs). I exercise daily. I am fun. I am happy. I love to cook. I love God (but I ain't a prude). I live in the country. I am nice, and I love to laugh. Oh, and I love black men--all black men. I also do not think they are intimidated by me--that is actually a dumb reason that many sisters tell themselves. Yes, I have dated white men (almost married one once), but my preference and my love is of black men.

The other key factor to consider is that the 70 percent of the sisters Jimi speaks of who do not have marriageable men, etc. are professional accomplished sisters--this is a key problem demographic. <span style="font-weight: bold">However, with all due respect to my brothers Jimi and Hill Harper (who also has a new book out called The Conversation) where do you get your information?</span>

I feel like I can speak to this with some authority as my book about the lives of professional accomplished black women will be out in the summer of 2010--Smiley/Hay House. The difference between me and my esteemed brothers is that I live everyday as an accomplished black woman (that unfortunate 70 percent) that is unmarried and in my early 40s. More importantly, my book will be based on national qualitative and quantitative data where we actually ask black women and men their opinions, wants, dislikes, etc. so that we can begin to move forward instead of engaging in these endless debates that are based on subjective individual (often jaded opinions).

I wish we would stop all the finger-pointing and take a hard look at self because that is where the issues really lie. <span style="font-weight: bold">If you ask me my opinion, one of the most fundamental problems I see in black men is their lack of basic courtesy and chivalry toward black women.</span> I know this sounds old-fashioned and corny, but as I said romance, and relationship is a two-way street, folks. Let's all look within and see what we can do to offer ourselves as better mates and companions.

**kia027** · 09-08-2009, 02:26 PM

Re: memo to blakk oomen: git real

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: blakkgiant</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

Well i do agree with the fact that it is not education and a successful material that makes a woman wife material. It is about the core values she possesses. It is the core values and beliefs that will also make a man, marria geable material as well. </div></div>

soo yu tink itt bout blakk oomen core values y more blakk men doan putt a ring pon itt? wat bout de argument da writa mekkinn dat blakk oomen tink too iighlee aff demselves dat y a latt aff dem natt gittinn married?

wen mii wass goinn fii mii master mii wass flirtinn widd diss afrikkan ladee. mii cood tell shii wass reallee into mii butt shii tunn mii ask bye seyinn dat shii wass real xxpensive. mii ask ar iff dat mean mii wood affii buy ar faddar tree cows iff mii wanted fii marry ar </div></div>

now what I am saying is the man appears to be intimidated by her academic and professional success and is not looking at the ethical values she possesses.

**Nylah** · 09-08-2009, 02:58 PM

Re: memo to blakk oomen: git real

black woman cant catch a break from anyone

**Suesumba** · 09-08-2009, 03:01 PM

Re: memo to blakk oomen: git real

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: blakkgiant</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">Memo to Black Women: Get Real!
You are not Michelle Obama, and you will probably not end up with Barack ... or Denzel. If you want to find the right one, lose the high ideal and get your priorities in order.</span>

I sympathize with black women because it’s true that 71 percent of black grad students are female and that they outnumber black men in the general population 7 to 1. But maybe you’ve heard the one about successful black women being unable to find suitable black mates is not about ineligible men. And if you are doing this by the numbers, ladies, then your outlook is bleak. But it’s not about the numbers—“successful” black men made the same lame claim back in the day. It’s about choices and how we measure success. Black women seem to resent black men because, with all the educated black women, we seem to have choices in mates that they don’t. I promise you, quantity and quality are different. Please trust that it takes more than an education and a successful career to be wife material. And women think if they wait long enough, they will find their own Denzel Washington. The problem is, there isn’t enough Denzel to go around. As I mention in my upcoming book The Denzel Principle, if black women want to marry a black man, it seems as if they have only a few choices:

... </div></div>

so date men of other races. they don't even care about all this internalized bullchit!!! and they can generally pay for dinner.

**LusciousJohnson** · 09-08-2009, 04:42 PM

Re: memo to blakk oomen: git real

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: chitown</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: blakkgiant</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">Memo to Black Women: Get Real!</span></div></div>
<span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="font-size: 14pt">Memo to Black Men: Grow Up!</span></span>

<span style="font-weight: bold">If you ask me my opinion, one of the most fundamental problems I see in black men is their lack of basic courtesy and chivalry toward black women.</span>
</div></div>

**LiteBlonde** · 09-08-2009, 05:53 PM

Re: memo to blakk oomen: git real

Ohh brother.

Warn a brotha. The sooner, the better.

**blugiant** · 09-08-2009, 06:12 PM

Re: memo to blakk oomen: git real

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: blakkgiant</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">Memo to Black Women: Get Real!
You are not Michelle Obama, and you will probably not end up with Barack ... or Denzel. If you want to find the right one, lose the high ideal and get your priorities in order.</span>

I sympathize with black women because it’s true that 71 percent of black grad students are female and that they outnumber black men in the general population 7 to 1. But maybe you’ve heard the one about successful black women being unable to find suitable black mates is not about ineligible men. And if you are doing this by the numbers, ladies, then your outlook is bleak. But it’s not about the numbers—“successful” black men made the same lame claim back in the day. It’s about choices and how we measure success. Black women seem to resent black men because, with all the educated black women, we seem to have choices in mates that they don’t. I promise you, quantity and quality are different. Please trust that it takes more than an education and a successful career to be wife material. And women think if they wait long enough, they will find their own Denzel Washington. The problem is, there isn’t enough Denzel to go around. As I mention in my upcoming book The Denzel Principle, if black women want to marry a black man, it seems as if they have only a few choices:

... </div></div>

so date men of other races. they don't even care about all this internalized bullchit!!! and they can generally pay for dinner. </div></div>

sue oww manee thyme mii poas da figgar wey proove men aff addar race ar less likelee fii marry blakk oomen. y yu tink men aff addar race ar less likelee fii marry blakk oomen even iff dem caan generallee pay fii dinnar

sue yu mean fii tell mii yu date men wey cyaan afford fii pay fii dinnar

**LiteBlonde** · 09-08-2009, 06:21 PM

Re: memo to blakk oomen: git real

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: blakkgiant</div><div class="ubbcode-body">oww manee thyme mii poas da figgar wey proove men aff addar race ar less likelee fii marry blakk oomen. <span style="font-weight: bold">y yu tink men aff addar race ar less likelee fii marry blakk oomen</span> even iff dem caan generallee pay fii dinnar

sue yu mean fii tell mii yu date men wey cyaan afford fii pay fii dinnar
</div></div>

...and there me was thinking that the whole marriage thing was a two way street.

I am sure that me if say that men of other race are less likely to marry black women because research have shown that MOST black women are NOT interested in marrying men of other races, you, like many others would still not get that one simple point.

The bottom line is, educated/eligible/acceptable men, black, white or other, are rare. Women with ANY standards whatsoever, are struggling.

**blugiant** · 09-08-2009, 06:22 PM

Re: memo to blakk oomen: git real

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: chitown</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: blakkgiant</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">Memo to Black Women: Get Real!</span></div></div>
<span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="font-size: 14pt">Memo to Black Men: Grow Up!</span></span>

I love Jimi Izrael, and I cannot wait to read his forthcoming book, The Denzel Principle, but <span style="font-weight: bold">I have to take issue with his piece last week titled, "Memo to Black Women: Get Real."</span> Did I sense a bit of anger or something going on? Let me say this about the line "lose the high ideals and get your priorities in order." Ouch!

<span style="font-weight: bold">When you look objectively and honestly at the sorry statistics that Jimi cites in his piece, you see that the problem is not with the sisters.</span> Sisters are excelling--they are outperforming--they are handling their business in all aspects of their lives except one--in our relationships with our black men. Why is that? It can no doubt be a two-way street--with enough shared blame to go around. For what my two cents is worth--I do not fit the stereotypical educated, high-earning black female. I do not live in an urban area. I do not drive a BMW. I am not overweight (5' 3'', 110 lbs). I exercise daily. I am fun. I am happy. I love to cook. I love God (but I ain't a prude). I live in the country. I am nice, and I love to laugh. Oh, and I love black men--all black men. I also do not think they are intimidated by me--that is actually a dumb reason that many sisters tell themselves. Yes, I have dated white men (almost married one once), but my preference and my love is of black men.

The other key factor to consider is that the 70 percent of the sisters Jimi speaks of who do not have marriageable men, etc. are professional accomplished sisters--this is a key problem demographic. <span style="font-weight: bold">However, with all due respect to my brothers Jimi and Hill Harper (who also has a new book out called The Conversation) where do you get your information?</span>

I feel like I can speak to this with some authority as my book about the lives of professional accomplished black women will be out in the summer of 2010--Smiley/Hay House. The difference between me and my esteemed brothers is that I live everyday as an accomplished black woman (that unfortunate 70 percent) that is unmarried and in my early 40s. More importantly, my book will be based on national qualitative and quantitative data where we actually ask black women and men their opinions, wants, dislikes, etc. so that we can begin to move forward instead of engaging in these endless debates that are based on subjective individual (often jaded opinions).

I wish we would stop all the finger-pointing and take a hard look at self because that is where the issues really lie. <span style="font-weight: bold">If you ask me my opinion, one of the most fundamental problems I see in black men is their lack of basic courtesy and chivalry toward black women.</span> I know this sounds old-fashioned and corny, but as I said romance, and relationship is a two-way street, folks. Let's all look within and see what we can do to offer ourselves as better mates and companions.
</div></div>

diss will mekk yu laff chitown sum well educated ann accomplished blakk oomen actuallee cawl mii courteous ann chivalrous. mii add fii tell dem mii actuallee studee chivalry soo dat affend mii too tink mii wood treat annee oomen like dat. educated blakk men challenge educated blakk oomen cah wii will cawl foolishness out

**blugiant** · 09-08-2009, 06:31 PM

Re: memo to blakk oomen: git real

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DotCom</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: blakkgiant</div><div class="ubbcode-body">oww manee thyme mii poas da figgar wey proove men aff addar race ar less likelee fii marry blakk oomen. <span style="font-weight: bold">y yu tink men aff addar race ar less likelee fii marry blakk oomen</span> even iff dem caan generallee pay fii dinnar

sue yu mean fii tell mii yu date men wey cyaan afford fii pay fii dinnar
</div></div>

...and there me was thinking that the whole marriage thing was a two way street.

I am sure that if say that men of other race are less likely to marry black women because research have shown that MOST black women are NOT interested in marrying men of other races, you, like many others would still not get that one simple point. </div></div>

soo yu waan mii fii beeleeve dat blakk oomen ar more likelee fii date men aff addar race dan blakk men butt dem ar natt intarestinn aff marryinn men aff addar race. single blakk oomen widd mixxed race babies lead mii too canclude addarwise. yu see interracial figgar focus pon interracial marriges natt interracial datinn. blakk oomen luv fii sey dem date interracial butt dem doan waan fii marry men aff addar races even dough studee show men aff addar races ar less likelee fii marry blakk oomen

**blugiant** · 09-08-2009, 06:40 PM

Re: memo to blakk oomen: git real

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: blakkgiant</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

Well i do agree with the fact that it is not education and a successful material that makes a woman wife material. It is about the core values she possesses. It is the core values and beliefs that will also make a man, marria geable material as well. </div></div>

soo yu tink itt bout blakk oomen core values y more blakk men doan putt a ring pon itt? wat bout de argument da writa mekkinn dat blakk oomen tink too iighlee aff demselves dat y a latt aff dem natt gittinn married?

wen mii wass goinn fii mii master mii wass flirtinn widd diss afrikkan ladee. mii cood tell shii wass reallee into mii butt shii tunn mii ask bye seyinn dat shii wass real xxpensive. mii ask ar iff dat mean mii wood affii buy ar faddar tree cows iff mii wanted fii marry ar </div></div>

now what I am saying is the man appears to be intimidated by her academic and professional success and is not looking at the ethical values she possesses. </div></div>

kia mii find dat wen moas oomen chatt bout men ar intimidated by ar academic ar professional success dem rationalieinn da reason y dem cyaan find wan man wey waan dem

**blugiant** · 09-08-2009, 06:46 PM

Re: memo to blakk oomen: git real

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DotCom</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

The bottom line is, educated/eligible/acceptable men, black, white or other, are rare. Women with ANY standards whatsoever, are struggling. </div></div>

wat yu meen bye standards. yu tandards might bee wat de writa wass chattinn bout wen imm sey high ideals might bee out aff wack

itt like oomen wey read too manee romance novel dat dem start fii beeleeve dem romance novels ar realitee instead aff fantasee

memo to blakk oomen: git real

memo to blakk oomen: git real

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