Controlling SO

[Jazz]

Re: Controlling SO

GOod question BB - cause plenty ooman say dem ah independent ooman an ray ray an den dem fine man... de man may nuh come out right an say doan do dis or dat - but dem may say I prefer, or we should do this... an before u know it de ooman dem stawt gwaan like that is wah dem want... and before you know it they have become the likkle clone weh de man did ah try create...

Oh yes plenty so called independent women have fallen into that one. Not all men just come outright and say u haffe change dis an change dat. some are more subtle - but if yuh stawt do tings weh u nevav used to like do - or drop some ah yuh fren dem caws im tink dem too slutty or watevva - den dat is a change

[Nylah]

Re: Controlling SO


true word

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Jazz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">GOod question BB - cause plenty ooman<span style="font-weight: bold"> say dem ah independent ooman an ray ray an den dem fine man... </span>de man may nuh come out right an say doan do dis or dat - but dem may say I prefer, or we should do this... an before u know it de ooman dem stawt gwaan like that is wah dem want... and before you know it they have become the likkle clone weh de man did ah try create...

Oh yes plenty so called independent women have fallen into that one. Not all men just come outright and say u haffe change dis an change dat. some are more subtle - but if yuh stawt do tings weh u nevav used to like do - or drop some ah yuh fren dem caws im tink dem too slutty or watevva - den dat is a change </div></div>

[loops]

Re: Controlling SO

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BiziBubbla</div><div class="ubbcode-body">dis soun very detail Loops.\o/

if mi neva know betta, mi would think u have sumting fi share

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: loops</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BiziBubbla</div><div class="ubbcode-body">so yuh get a man/ooman an when u an dem deh good good, exclusively dem start tell yuh say u cyaan go certain place no more.
Yuh nuh fi talk to certain friends anymore.
u muss wear ur hair certain way
yuh cyaan dress how u want

etc

do you change up yuhself and accomodate de man/ooman requests, do what you wanna do anyways, lef de person...what? </div></div>

generally speaking...it goes like this.

you tell him where he can poop in the woods, fight breaks out. you don't speak for a few days...make up...then he starts up again....again you tell him to GDAB.

you see a shrink
HE sees a shrink....long term, intensive growing up process shrink

he either leaves or smartens up...next thing you know, he's giving other couples jealousy advice.

shrink dollars well spent=relationship issue solved

at any rate...YOU don't change a thing. </div></div> </div></div>

it's just a very detailed imaginery scenario bizi.

[Bizzy]

Re: Controlling SO

Yeh but why though?

Some a dem ppl yuh wouldn't think dem have reason fi have low self image or anything. Dem successful an watnot, but as de man come, dem lock up inna de house like dem a furniture an den behave liek say a dat DEM want

[applepie]

Re: Controlling SO

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BiziBubbla</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Yeh but why though?

Some a dem ppl yuh wouldn't think dem have reason fi have low self image or anything. Dem successful an watnot, but as de man come, dem lock up inna de house like dem a furniture an den behave liek say a dat DEM want

</div></div>

Because most people like to pretend they are something they are not..........worse if the person a try impress.

[DearK]

Re: Controlling SO

Well, let's turn it around some... We may all do this in subtle ways- when he tries to wear that hawaiian shirt , a little suggestion (control) will get him to look more presentable

Also, especially at the beginning of a relationship, dont you find yourself getting into each others' world a little bit? I remember listening to more classical music when I dated a pianist. How about football- havent we all tried to get into it at some point or other?

[loops]

Re: Controlling SO

i think there's a big difference between suggesting he wear something more suitable...for his own damn good....and him pouting for a week because you want to hang with the girls friday night.

[CeaBee]

Re: Controlling SO

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">he wear something more suitable...for his own damn good</div></div>

or is it because YOU dont want to be embarrassed.

me nuh tink them care

[Gen]

Re: Controlling SO

right. I was going to add that part of being in a relationship is about &quot;exploring&quot; the other person's world. if the 2 people are normally busy then they might decide on days off to spend time with each other...

for example, she guh decied to bungee jump with him after she swear no way yuh a guh get mi do that

it can be a fine line sometimes

but other instances it is very obvious what is going on.


<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dear K</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Well, let's turn it around some... We may all do this in subtle ways- when he tries to wear that hawaiian shirt , a little suggestion (control) will get him to look more presentable

Also, especially at the beginning of a relationship, dont you find yourself getting into each others' world a little bit? I remember listening to more classical music when I dated a pianist. How about football- havent we all tried to get into it at some point or other? </div></div>

[DearK]

Re: Controlling SO

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: loops</div><div class="ubbcode-body">i think there's a big difference between suggesting he wear something more suitable...for his own damn good... </div></div>

[loops]

Re: Controlling SO

he appreciates the assistance...hence why he asks does this shirt match these pants.

if he bought his own clothes...

[Ja. Jewel]

Re: Controlling SO

Personally, I think the one who tries to &quot;control&quot; is the one who has self-esteem issues. To &quot;rule&quot; another person makes him or her feel more confident &amp; in control of the situation....every put down is a &quot;big up&quot; for the controlling person, nah tru?

[missus_vegas]

Re: Controlling SO

never had this experience. i am the rebellious stubborn type so if u tellmi do something i wont. even if is something i wanted to do. but if him ask me to not do something and give me his POV den mi will most likely consider it.

weight out wat mi giving up and if him worth it.

[Bizzy]

Re: Controlling SO

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Ja. Jewel</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Personally, I think the one who tries to &quot;control&quot; is the one who has self-esteem issues. To &quot;rule&quot; another person makes him or her feel more confident &amp; in control of the situation....every put down is a &quot;big up&quot; for the controlling person, nah tru? </div></div>

good point

[Bizzy]

Re: Controlling SO

Dear K mi naw talk bout no subtle nothing.

Let's say every friday mi an mi fren dem go watch movie.

den one friday come roun an him say don't go nuhweh an I would appreciate it if u stop going out fridays altogether.

Or yuh put on one fitted dress, showing cleavage an say unu a go out an him tell u fi tek it off an don't wear anything like that again...only pants or only knee length and longer.

i mean, him meet u a do dem ting deh then all of a sudden him waan change u