RIDICULOUS?

[LiteBlonde]

My brother-in-law (Steve) has a nephew (Roan) that lives in JA. Steve put Roan through college and after he won a scholarship he paid for him to go to Cuba to study dentistry for six years.

Roan has recently returned to Jamaica and told his uncle that he does not want to practice dentistry, but instead wants to go and marry his "girlfriend" whom he met on the program in Cuba.

Roan's only goal is to join the Army so he could have the opportunity to travel to Ghana to be with his "girlfriend" (Alu) who've moved back there and whose father has banned her from traveling to Jamaica to see him (they are both 26 yrs old).

Steve told Roan that "man should not move for woman, it should be the woman who moves for the man". Roan disagrees and is pursuing him goal. Steve is heated and ready to cut Roan off.

What would be your advice to Steve and Roan?

[mountaingal]

Re: RIDICULOUS?

father probably reacting to son giving up the dentistry for the girl. and probably doesn't want to lose contact with his son (is him only child?). i think the thing about man shouldn't move for woman is probably a disguise for his true feelings of impending loss.

can't son practice dentistry in ghana?

[sistactry]

Re: RIDICULOUS?

it kinna tuff fe a spend so much money a help Roan, only fe him now a come chat faat bout Army,

love now, him cant do a ting bout dat, dat is just a storm u haffe ride out, no matter whey it fling u~~

[Wendy]

Re: RIDICULOUS?

I have no advise per se..but the guy is 26 yr old for crying out loud! Why Can't he make decisions for himself??

[sistactry]

Re: RIDICULOUS?

no MG a serious ting, and a big talk to, (ooman fe falla bakka man)

case, man and ooman meet a farrin, married and ting and decide after a while fe go back a Ja go retire, a hell and powder house if de man go a de ooman parish, and not the other way around~~

u neen know??

[mountaingal]

Re: RIDICULOUS?

yes, mi know bout dat, a no jamaican wan weh believe seh is wife fi falla husband and not the other way round. but mi think if the son never dash weh the dentistry dream it may not have been so hard fi the father to accept. sound like the son a give up him ambition fi a woman, that to me sound more "unmanly" than following a woman to her country.

anyway, nuff jamaian man "falla" dem wife go a merca, dont?

[LiteBlonde]

Re: RIDICULOUS?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">father probably reacting to son giving up the dentistry for the girl. and probably doesn't want to lose contact with his son (is him only child?). i think the thing about man shouldn't move for woman is probably a disguise for his true feelings of impending loss.

can't son practice dentistry in ghana? </div></div>

MGee, Steve is his uncle (his dad passed away) but has raised him as his own, along with his 3 sisters and 1 brother. He is really afraid of the unknown...has no problem with him going to the Army but really opposed to him moving to Ghana.

I think you are right about him masking him true feelings but him told Roan that him love him but does not agree with him choices.

[LiteBlonde]

Re: RIDICULOUS?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendilina</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I have no advise per se..but the guy is 26 yr old for crying out loud! Why Can't he make decisions for himself?? </div></div>

Roan has made his own decisions. His uncle just disagrees with them. That's all.

[mountaingal]

Re: RIDICULOUS?

thanks for the correction, mi read di first part too fast, i guess, fi penetrate seh a nephew and not son.

[LiteBlonde]

Re: RIDICULOUS?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SistaCtry</div><div class="ubbcode-body">no MG a serious ting, and a big talk to, (ooman fe falla bakka man)

case, man and ooman meet a farrin, married and ting and decide after a while fe go back a Ja go retire, a hell and powder house if de man go a de ooman parish, and not the other way around~~

u neen know?? </div></div>

R U serious? Is this a known thing? I thought he was just talking stuff.

[mountaingal]

Re: RIDICULOUS?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DotCom</div><div class="ubbcode-body">MGee, Steve is his uncle (his dad passed away) but has raised him as his own, along with his 3 sisters and 1 brother. He is really afraid of the unknown...has no problem with him going to the Army but really opposed to him moving to Ghana. </div></div>

ok. somehow mi did think that because uncle open to the idea of Cuba, then he would have been open to the idea of Ghana. granted, they are quite different in terms of distance away.

[sistactry]

Re: RIDICULOUS?

yeah man, a serious ting, my uncle in law made the decision fe go St Mary and not Manchester whey him come from, and larks, dem no tap dog him bout it~

where ever this kid goes, i just hope him no give up his dream and go inna no army~

[LiteBlonde]

Re: RIDICULOUS?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DotCom</div><div class="ubbcode-body">MGee, Steve is his uncle (his dad passed away) but has raised him as his own, along with his 3 sisters and 1 brother. He is really afraid of the unknown...has no problem with him going to the Army but really opposed to him moving to Ghana. </div></div>

ok. somehow mi did think that because uncle open to the idea of Cuba, then he would have been open to the idea of Ghana. granted, they are quite different in terms of distance away.
</div></div>

You and me both. Him is also open to the Army which to me is far more troubling. Me get the impression that him saw Cuba as a &quot;must do&quot; in order for Roan to study and better himself as well as be a role model for him siblings, and the Army as another form of pursuing him life goal but the &quot;girlfriend&quot; as a narrow distraction.

He kept saying that Roan is letting him down with him narrow-mindedness and him too young to be &quot;chasing down girls&quot;. Him is more disappointed than anything else, me think.

[LiteBlonde]

Re: RIDICULOUS?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SistaCtry</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yeah man, a serious ting, my uncle in law made the decision fe go St Mary and not Manchester whey him come from, and larks, dem no tap dog him bout it~

where ever this kid goes, i just hope him no give up his dream and go inna no army~ </div></div>

Wow, me didn't know that at all.

Him see the Army as a ticket to the world and is adamant about using that route. Little does he know.

Youth is certainly wasted on the young.

[kia027]

Re: RIDICULOUS?

Roan is a dentist now yes? So instead of joining the army could he not try a 'doctors without borders' thing in Ghana? This will give him a chance to see the girlfriend in her home space and decide if dat is the woman him want fi spend im life wid.

Joining the military as a dentist may not be a bad thing either. Is nat like dem going put im in combat fi fill cavities no?

De uncle is the father figure in Roan life but on one hand it sound like Roan had his nose to the books for 23 years (yes mi counting basic school) so maybe does need a little time to see the world.