When your "adult" child brings their SO home

[Seveen]

Re: When your "adult" child brings their SO home

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Stormmey1</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Seveen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">the economy is not an excuse to live at home

my first job i made $100 a week before taxes

it took me 2 of those checks to pay the rent a month (studio apartment)

one of those checks for food and utilities (no phone and i unplugged the 'frig)

the other check eventually bought me a car

all of this - quickly motivated me to higher education = more money



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Seveen, how long ago was this </div></div>


before you were born

but change $100 to $200 or $500 the proportions toward rent, food, utilities etc are about the same

you got to start somewhere - i don't expect my 18-year old to live in a mansion right out of the box

[britisha]

Re: When your &quot;adult&quot; child brings their SO home

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Rollin_Calf</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My friend has a 19 year old son who, like many offspring of our diasporic people, seems to be having trouble finding his way in life (another subject for another thread). So she is telling me how she woke up one Saturday morning and went downstairs to make her usual cup of coffee only to find a young lady in there rummaging around in her kitchen closet, looking the way one does when one has recently gotten out of bed. An before they could exchange greetings and she had any opportunity to ask who she was, di gyal (she said &quot;RC, mi seh 'gyal' because that is what she was&quot cut har eye after mi and went back into the son's room.

What would be your next move as the mother?
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Well, a whole heap a peeps gi dem hadvice 'ere arreddi...soh aldoah mi noh read all a dem, it strikes me as if something is nat naawmal here....that is the relationship between the son and the mother; especially since he was cheeky to her when she questioned the fact that he had an overnight guest of the opposite sex...and he should've already passed the rebellious stage of adolescence.


We don't know what the boy told his girlfriend about his mother why she would treat her like that, although whatevah he might have told her, she could have STILL been polite and said &quot;hi&quot;.

There is more to the story than meets the eye, and I am inclined to believe, that his attitude and behaviour stems from the relationship in the home and it is the mother's fault..ie...shi didn' raise him right[ly]..at 19 he should have some form of goal/plan, even short term as to what he wants to accomplish in his life...he sounds like a loser, and the girl the same...like attracts like...

She [di modda] is also sending the boy mixed messages/signals that it is okay to sleep with <span style="text-decoration: line-through">someone </span> your sexual partner, if you are not married [regawdless of your age]...When girls might accept this, boys most often won't...since the father [figure] is NOT in the home which seems to be the case here, and he might think it is the mother's fault why dis is so...even hiff annuh soh.....a juss soh mi seet...obviously shi noh set noh rules for the son..eidah dat or shi cudda seh wan thing but her actions speak something else...the<span style="font-weight: bold"> &quot;do as *I* say, but NOT as *I* do</span>.

<span style="font-weight: bold">don't shoot the messenger...duh</span>


eta, is nat every child have the wherewithal to face life hout dere, dem cuddah haff psychological problems...so hiff he were my son, and him cyan't tun duck haffah nest, mi nat turning him/her out, if I realise that there is a problem...whay mi a goh sen dem hout deh tuh...homelessness?