NON-NEGIOTABLES - inspired by SB

[Nylah]

so what are your non-negioatables for relationships? You know, the things that you need to be totally on the same page with a person before you could consider building or continuing a life together with them. Some differences you can negiotate on and see that in the long-term you can manage your way thru but others you can see from the get go that if you cant be in perfect sync now, later on you are gonna have trouble...including you feeling unfulfilled, etc.

Especially would like the married ppl and those in long-term relationships to rope in on this one.
<span style="font-weight: bold">
A couple of mine</span>

1. Whether they want kids or not. Naturally or adoption, I have a strong maternal instinct and couldnt make peace with someone if they didnt want any atall. But I could negiotate on the number though

2. Spender or saver. How they handle their finances

3. How they resolve conflicts or disagreemnt. Whethre they can talk thru things or go into attack mode to deal with things that bother them.

I have others but let's hear from the hear of you first.

[twiney]

Re: NON-NEGIOTABLES - inspired by SB

There is a 1 strike rule if you ever hit me ... I cant say what my actions will be but one thing is sure the relationship is over ...

[kia027]

Re: NON-NEGIOTABLES - inspired by SB

4. Their relationship with their family
5. Their approach to problem solving

[Nylah]

Re: NON-NEGIOTABLES - inspired by SB



agreed Kia. Agreed. two really strong points for me too cause point 4 effects how they do point 5

[Wendy]

Re: NON-NEGIOTABLES - inspired by SB

1. Do dem have teet and how many? The number is negotiable but must have at least 2 functioning front teet dat doan show signs of decay

2. Wedda dem come out of yuh Modda belly wid a Penis all natu-ral. Implants are non negotiable

3. Does dem breat kill dead flowas. If that is the case, no can do

4. Lickle bit a Armpit hair is Ok but wan farrest a grow pan dem back and trees springing fram dem nosehole is a no no

[Nylah]

Re: NON-NEGIOTABLES - inspired by SB


Wendy



anything else

[Wendy]

Re: NON-NEGIOTABLES - inspired by SB

Lawd man ..yuh lick hat enoh.cho Ok let me be serious

1. Sense of personal independence and acceptance of mine. I don’t want any clingy person and I don’t want somebody expecting me to cling on to them

2. How they talk about their EXES. Big deal breaker for me. Men who trash and talk dirty/ill and name call exes are gonners!

3. If they have a child/children from a previous relationship – the relationship they have with that child. BTW more dan wan baby madda is out of the question

4. And I am with you ..conflict resolution is biggy, since no relationship is without conflict

[julie*mango]

Re: NON-NEGIOTABLES - inspired by SB

Haffi believe in God...

[Wendy]

Re: NON-NEGIOTABLES - inspired by SB

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Haffi believe in God... </div></div>

Which brings up a point. I know somebody who's major conflict in their relationship was that though BOTH people believed in GOD..HE did not go to church but she was a avid church goer. Is that a part of that deal Skelly ...going to church?

[ILP]

Re: NON-NEGIOTABLES - inspired by SB

1. Well I really at home where ever the person is, so it is a non-negotiable if the person does not respect my need to be in Jamaica for long periods of time. Of course it is better if he comes with me, but it isnt necessary.

2. I am not necessarily a kids person (as in having them). Mainly out of fear of having to raise them by myself (for whatever reason...irrational or not). The person HAD to be willing to be like my father was in that instance, when it comes to kids. He would have to be a Mister Mom. (All di fyah bunners can go straight to hell wid any comments... ). I know that is what has taken so long for me to have kids. I still wake up in cold sweats now, when I think about what lies ahead.

3. I <span style="font-weight: bold">MUST</span> work outside the home. Period. No stay at home business for me.

4. The person <span style="font-weight: bold">MUST</span> give me space to do ME stuff, he needs to have his own as well. Then we can have we stuff.

5. <span style="font-weight: bold">Same</span> goals when it come to money, finances.

6. He <span style="font-weight: bold">MUST</span> be honest. I dont do white lies, lies by ommission, you never asked..so I didnt tell, I told you some, but not the rest. One lie and I catch you and I am out.

7. Dude must have my back at the end of the day and he must allow me to have his. Doesnt mean we are together everyday, allday. I just need to know that he is gonna support me in whatever I choose to do, even at his own expense. It doesnt mean that I am gonna ask him to do stuff that ends up hurting him...but knowing that I have his support is the difference.

Mi sure mi have more, but mi cyan think of anyting else.

[kia027]

Re: NON-NEGIOTABLES - inspired by SB

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendilina</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Haffi believe in God... </div></div>

Which brings up a point. I know somebody who's major conflict in their relationship was that though BOTH people believed in GOD..HE did not go to church but she was a avid church goer. Is that a part of that deal Skelly ...going to church? </div></div>

would that not mean they are unequally yoked or something like that?

[julie*mango]

Re: NON-NEGIOTABLES - inspired by SB

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendilina</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Haffi believe in God... </div></div> Is that a part of that deal Skelly ...going to church? </div></div>

no...

[ILP]

Re: NON-NEGIOTABLES - inspired by SB

How im treat him fambly/exes is a big deal. If im into trashing exes, etc...Yup, I'm gone.

Him also have to have a cause/passion/interest and tolerate mine. i once dated a guy who had interest in nothing AT ALL. he simply worked, came home, drank a shorty of gray goose, went to sleep and did it all over again. Nothing no wrong wid working or grey goose ( ), but nothing struck his fancy. That was very weird. Him neva stand for anyting atall.

[R_C]

Re: NON-NEGIOTABLES - inspired by SB

Honesty - don't play me
Sense of humour - not looking any &quot;no nonsense&quot; woman
Intellectual curiosity - must be interested in the world around them - no air heads please
If you are not from yard respect my culture - don't just pretend to at the beginning of the relationship
Do not discuss our bizniz wid yuh fren dem - ef mi si one a dem a look pon mi a way I will know seh a chat yuh chat mi to har
No going out with males who are &quot;just friends&quot; because &quot;I had a life before I met you&quot;.
Must have a J O B
There's more but that will do for now before backra come outta di big house fi si wah deh gwaan dung inna di field

[Boopie2]

Re: NON-NEGIOTABLES - inspired by SB

1. He has to be clean.
2. Great sex
3. I don't drink and I don't mind of he drinks at times, but I can't stand an alcoholic.
4. Cursing, loud mouths, disrespectful.
5.Cheapness
6. Too needy
7. He has to have a sense of humor
8 Kind, thoughful, polite
9. No abuse verbal or physical
10. He should be able to help around the house, I'm not trying to kill myself
11. Neat, no fliging their clothes all around the house, wet towels. I'm not his mother
12. Has to love and be willing to travel
13. Get out and do things not just stuck up in the house on the weekends.

14. Jealous and insecure, a lair I can't stand that.