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Re: Open Relationship - Any takers?
She is in an Open relationship ..using her as an example to make a point. That's all.
carry on ...
She is in an Open relationship ..using her as an example to make a point. That's all.
carry on ...
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Re: Open Relationship - Any takers?
Yes, Ms. W..okiedokie...mi noh know nutt'n bout Monique, so mi agguh liss'n.
I saw what ILP ssaid...an di prablem wid mi is, wance mi stick to a definition is di haaawdis ting fi mi let goh...point being if two people cannot commit on a piece of paper, how else are they going to really commit to be faithful...it difficult fi married ppl much less oddawise...many peeps tink is di piece a paper dem sign whey hle dem togeddah.
I wouddah nevah commit to noh relationship whey mi paawdna can run rung and dip ere an dere...
...an speaking of the oomens, mi know whole heap a oomens whey is everybody's sumting.
wha kine a man wuddah commit tuh dat?
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Re: Open Relationship - Any takers?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Faithfully</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Yes, Ms. W..okiedokie...mi noh know nutt'n bout Monique, so mi agguh liss'n.
I saw what ILP ssaid...an di prablem wid mi is, wance mi stick to a definition is di haaawdis ting fi mi let goh...<span style="font-weight: bold">point being if two people cannot commit on a piece of paper, how else are they going to really commit to be faithful...it difficult fi married ppl much less oddawise...many peeps tink is di piece a paper dem sign whey hle dem togeddah.</span>
I wouddah nevah commit to noh relationship whey mi paawdna can run rung and dip ere an dere...
...an speaking of the oomens, mi know whole heap a oomens whey is everybody's sumting. wha kine a man wuddah commit tuh dat? </div></div>
huh?
it isn't the piece a paper that makes the commitment (or make it binding). it is a person's binding charge (as in an physical act) to entrust their heart to betterment of another, which requires a person's daily choice. people commit and break numerous things. they commit to pay their bills when they are due, they commit to exercise daily, they commit to flossing their teeth, they commit to going to work on time daily, they commit to file their taxes.... the act of follow through EACH DAY makes the commitment...the actual making the choice to DO (and then in turn doing) what they have promised to do.
i have made a commitment, for instance, to live a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes I sign papers (ie. register for races) sometimes I just say it to myself (and then cross my heart hope to die and alla daht). But unless I make choices EVERY SINGLE TIME I AM PRESENTED WITH THE CHOICE (a literal act) then the commitment is naught.
Mi know nuff people that are not married, but have been with their SO's for decades. They own property, have kids, grandkids (one couple in this case). They have never gotten "the paper". But they made the choice (the commitment) and then act (DAILY) to bring it to fruition.Comment
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Re: Open Relationship - Any takers?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendilina</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: diabolical_Tanya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Did it once, the relationship lasted 3 or 4 years.
Would I do it again
....... </div></div>
Did you participate? In odda words had the guts to be with somebody else?
Pardon if the question seem intrusive ... I doan mean it to be that way . Just curious to know if maybe this usually is a one sided deal </div></div>Yes I had another lover (
or two)
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Re: Open Relationship - Any takers?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendilina</div><div class="ubbcode-body">LOL.. ILP me know how dat waiting can feel
sometime dem stubborn noh hell!! Fi mi own did henka ina mi belly 2 weeks afta shi did due (not to scare yuh or anyting )
But back to di tapic... What yuh sey is why mi can argue for and against it at the same time. It all up to how the couple define dem relationship and if dem establish dat upfront and dem sign ina blood den a guess dem straight.
But my worry (for lack of a better term) is if Monique for example goh fine out sey Sydney her husban goh tek up wid nex woman would she be able to truly contain herself and nat tun into dat Character shi played in Precious
In oddawords can dis agreement really stand the test of <span style="font-style: italic">time, love and harmony</span> Yuh get mi?
<span style="font-size: 8pt">**<span style="font-style: italic">Hole up di Mike to Tanya Mout</span>**</span> </div></div>funny enough the demise of our relationship had nothing to do with it being open or closed it was odder tings
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Re: Open Relationship - Any takers?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ILP_N_Belly</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
huh? it isn't the piece a paper that makes the commitment (or make it binding).</div></div>
Karreck, but it puts some authenticity to it.<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> it is a person's binding charge (as in an physical act) to entrust their heart to betterment of another, which requires a person's daily choice.</div></div>Yuh lass mi eresoh.<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> people commit and break numerous things. they commit to pay their bills when they are due, they commit to exercise daily, they commit to flossing their teeth, they commit to going to work on time daily, they commit to file their taxes.... the act of follow through EACH DAY makes the commitment...the actual making the choice to DO (and then in turn doing) what they have promised to do. </div></div>
I think your definition and mine of A relationship commitment are NOT one and the same thing...people can "commit" [*chukkle*] to many things, but in the final analysis not all "commitments" are the same...we need to be specific on which "commitment" we are talking about.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
i have made a commitment, for instance, to live a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes I sign papers (ie. register for races) sometimes I just say it to myself (and then cross my heart hope to die and alla daht). But unless I make choices EVERY SINGLE TIME I AM PRESENTED WITH THE CHOICE (a literal act) then the commitment is naught.
Mi know nuff people that are not married, but have been with their SO's for decades. They own property, have kids, grandkids (one couple in this case). They have never gotten "the paper". But they made the choice (the commitment) and then act (DAILY) to bring it to fruition.
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Mi nat gwine deal wid di commitment to lifestyle, for that doesn't involve another person which the theme of this thread hinges on....and if yuh bruk your commitment dere, nobaddie else is involved....eta I think what you have omitted to mention and which is very important is CONSEQUENCES for other parties involved when they draw up a pact, VERBALLY or in writing and renege on it...
I do agree that people can be in a committed INTIMATE relationship without being "married as per LAW" and some ppl fraid fi get married tuh...so in "common-law" parlance, and in essence, they are considered "married" under the law in their jurisdiction...[certain parameters being met however].
I mentioned the story here about the man who was a bigamist and had two wives, and two homes with children...hypothetically speaking, if he had these two homes but was married to only ONE wife err WOMAN, which of these women do you think the law would rule in favour of if and when he dies?
Soh agen wi haffie agree to disagree an dis wan also.
back to di tapppickComment
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Re: Open Relationship - Any takers?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: diabolical_Tanya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendilina</div><div class="ubbcode-body">LOL.. ILP me know how dat waiting can feel sometime dem stubborn noh hell!! Fi mi own did henka ina mi belly 2 weeks afta shi did due (not to scare yuh or anyting )
But back to di tapic... What yuh sey is why mi can argue for and against it at the same time. It all up to how the couple define dem relationship and if dem establish dat upfront and dem sign ina blood den a guess dem straight.
But my worry (for lack of a better term) is if Monique for example goh fine out sey Sydney her husban goh tek up wid nex woman would she be able to truly contain herself and nat tun into dat Character shi played in Precious
In oddawords can dis agreement really stand the test of <span style="font-style: italic">time, love and harmony</span> Yuh get mi?
<span style="font-size: 8pt">**<span style="font-style: italic">Hole up di Mike to Tanya Mout</span>**</span> </div></div>funny enough the demise of our relationship had nothing to do with it being open or closed it was odder tings </div></div>
If you dont mind my asking - it seems that jealousy is often a constant third party in many relationships - how did it play in this relationship?Comment
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Re: Open Relationship - Any takers?
Well; today KISS FM had a show on this very topic...they spoke of "OPEN MARRIAGE"; which would imply the relationship being more than two people who are not married.
The calls were hilarious..they spoke of Monique and some callers didn't play to "rip" her..saying that she is not a role model and what she is doing is not typical of black people...and they must take the "filth" that is practiced by some groups who are not from the black community....and that the black community is in dire straits as it is, an nat able to tek aawn something that would further cause problems.
[of course one could count on one hand, those who said it is okay]
..some were so irate that they even talked about the Oscars and the roles that black people win Oscars for...it was as if they opened a can of worms....
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Re: Open Relationship - Any takers?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Faithfully</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Well; today KISS FM had a show on this very topic...they spoke of "OPEN MARRIAGE"; which would imply the relationship being more than two people who are not married.
The calls were hilarious..they spoke of Monique and some callers didn't play to "rip" her..saying that she is not a role model and what she is doing is not typical of black people...and they must take the "filth" that is practiced by some groups who are not from the black community....and that the black community is in dire straits as it is, an nat able to tek aawn something that would further cause problems.
[of course one could count on one hand, those who said it is okay]
..some were so irate that they even talked about the Oscars and the roles that black people win Oscars for...it was as if they opened a can of worms.... </div></div>
Ol hypocryte dem - dem same one whe a cuss har, come a yard an buss weh a Hedo like seh duggu duggu soon illegal an dem haffi ketch wha dem can before shop lock...Comment
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Re: Open Relationship - Any takers?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendilina</div><div class="ubbcode-body">She is in an Open relationship ..using her as an example to make a point. That's all.
carry on ... </div></div>
Maybe if we see what her actual words were, we can get into a discussion with some perspective...
They quoted her as saying:
<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Console'"><span style="font-size: 11pt">"Could Sid have sex outside of his marriage with me? Yes. That's not a deal-breaker. That's not something that would make us say, 'pack your things and let's end the marriage.'"</span></span>
Also:
<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Console'"><span style="font-size: 11pt">"I married my best friend. Sid and I don’t put a label on what works for us because it’s ours. But some people might say that we have an open relationship. Some people consider sex outside of marriage to be cheating, but I think you’re cheating when you lie and keep secrets. We’re honest with each other."</span></span>
Maybe she was just being up front - and to many men, that kill the desire to play the field. I did not see where she actually states that he DOES have relations with other women, she is simply stating that its not a deal-breaker.
Comments?Comment
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Re: Open Relationship - Any takers?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Ol hypocryte dem - dem same one whe a cuss har, come a yard an buss weh a Hedo like seh duggu duggu soon illegal an dem haffi ketch wha dem can before shop lock...
</div></div>
BOAL
Yuh kill mi wid disya comment But a troo dowe 
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Re: Open Relationship - Any takers?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Maybe she was just being up front - and to many men, that kill the desire to play the field. I did not see where she actually states that he DOES have relations with other women, she is simply stating that its not a deal-breaker.
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No she didn't say he was having sex with other women ..yes quite frankly she saying if im happen to go outside the marriage an goh have sex that is not a deal breaker. But she has said in the past that she has an OPEN marriage and she wasn't talking about Sid being open and honest eida. It's fair to say that EVERYBODY who married waan dem partner to be <span style="font-weight: bold">open</span> and honest but dat noh mean dem marriage OPEN Get mi drift.
In some interviews shi a play upon the word "Open" back and forth... but everytime mi hear her speak on the subject all I get from it is that shi a give Sid license fi cheat but shi waan know when im do it..Shi lay down the law sey im mussen hide it fram har.
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Re: Open Relationship - Any takers?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendilina</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Maybe she was just being up front - and to many men, that kill the desire to play the field. I did not see where she actually states that he DOES have relations with other women, she is simply stating that its not a deal-breaker.
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No she didn't say he was having sex with other women ..yes quite frankly she saying if im happen to go outside the marriage an goh have sex that is not a deal breaker. But she has said in the past that she has an OPEN marriage and she wasn't talking about Sid being open and honest eida. It's fair to say that EVERYBODY who married waan dem partner to be <span style="font-weight: bold">open</span> and honest but dat noh mean dem marriage OPEN Get mi drift.
In some interviews shi a play upon the word "Open" back and forth... but everytime mi hear her speak on the subject all I get from it is that shi a give Sid license fi cheat but shi waan know when im do it..Shi lay down the law sey im mussen hide it fram har. </div></div>
I agree with you, and the more I read about this, the more I am thinking that everyone just doesnt get the couples point.
In the interview, she also said that if she did have sex with someone else, it wouldnt matter. Looking around, I am also seeing quotes from him saying basically that he has not, but if he did it would not impact the relationship - AND same went for her, if she did, no impact on the relationship.
So I am thinking about this, and two things I start to wonder:
1. The way they are phrasing their responses, maybe they are just telling the world that their sex life is none of our business no matter what it turns out to be. If it were the situation that they were actually having sex outside of each other, it would have been far simpler to just say that without being this nuanced.
2. Is this a sign that their relationship is more stable than the average relationship? I mean, many MANY people tend to refrain from sex outside of the relationship because of the CONSEQUENCE (break up, divorce, etc). What if there were no such consequence? Would either one still CHOOSE the spouse?Comment
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Re: Open Relationship - Any takers?
My biggest concern would be the spread of diseases. That in and of itself would trump any other "hurt" that could be caused by this type of arrangement.Comment
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Re: Open Relationship - Any takers?
I really don't know what she or him getting at Q - But it maybe that they do have a stable relationship and the talk is more out of "confidence"
Monique and Sid a come fram far anyway..so dem have an "understanding" based on their history I suppose. Not withstanding, even if that is the way she wants to conduct her relationship I see her making it public doing more harm than good. That could have been between her an Sid an lef it at dat 100 ears can hear di same ting and interpret it 100 million ways.
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