Close Calls

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: Close Calls

I was working as a recruiter and met a very nice man, handsome intelligent charming etc, I placed him in a great job the company loved him blah blah 6 month later I am reading about him in the paper charged with abusing his wife and KIDS [img]/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] I never in a million years would have expected that.

[sistagirl]

Re: Close Calls

[ QUOTE ]
I was working as a recruiter and met a very nice man, handsome intelligent charming etc, I placed him in a great job the company loved him blah blah 6 month later I am reading about him in the paper charged with abusing his wife and KIDS [img]/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] I never in a million years would have expected that.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thank goodness you only set up a job for him and not a date [img]/forums/images/graemlins/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]

[Nunya]

Re: Close Calls

[ QUOTE ]
u kno sey a wha day smaddy ask mi why mi an a certain person brukk up
and she sey fe de langest while she blame me and sey mi leff a good man
caa people ongle see the good face that you put out dem noh kno wha happen when no one is around
dem sey who feels it know it yah

[/ QUOTE ]

The woman who was burned: Her husband had become increasingly possesive and jealous. Then it escalated to physical abuse. She finally left him and had a restraining order against him.

Here's the kicker: Her husband went to the judge without the wife's knowledge and asked to have the restraining order lifted as he and his wife were going to seeking counseling together.

And the judge lifted the order without consulting the wife! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

Oonuu eva hear anyting like dat yet???

[dr. bones]

Re: Close Calls

Dated a close call once. For a year, everything was fine, not one arguement. Then he thought I was cheating, so he had my phones tapped, had me followed, threatened to kill me or hurt my family....very scary.

[Nunya]

Re: Close Calls

[ QUOTE ]
Dated a close call once. For a year, everything was fine, not one arguement. Then he thought I was cheating, so he had my phones tapped, had me followed, threatened to kill me or hurt my family....very scary.

[/ QUOTE ]

OMG! How'd you get out of that one?

[dr. bones]

Re: Close Calls

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Dated a close call once. For a year, everything was fine, not one arguement. Then he thought I was cheating, so he had my phones tapped, had me followed, threatened to kill me or hurt my family....very scary.

[/ QUOTE ]

Packed all of my stuff into a U-haul and moved it around daily to diff locations to throw him off. I stayed w/ different friends (whom he didn't know), for weeks - slept on the floor b/c he said he would shoot me, and I didn't think bullets would penetrate brick [img]/forums/images/graemlins/70394-bawlout.gif[/img] Finally moved into a new place, and w/n a day he called my unlisted # to say he knew exactly where I was. He finally just left me alone, but called a few years ago to say he missed me, and never would have hurt me, he just wanted to scare me [img]/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

OMG! How'd you get out of that one?

[/ QUOTE ]

[sistagirl]

Re: Close Calls

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
u kno sey a wha day smaddy ask mi why mi an a certain person brukk up
and she sey fe de langest while she blame me and sey mi leff a good man
caa people ongle see the good face that you put out dem noh kno wha happen when no one is around
dem sey who feels it know it yah

[/ QUOTE ]

The woman who was burned: Her husband had become increasingly possesive and jealous. Then it escalated to physical abuse. She finally left him and had a restraining order against him.

Here's the kicker: Her husband went to the judge without the wife's knowledge and asked to have the restraining order lifted as he and his wife were going to seeking counseling together.

And the judge lifted the order without consulting the wife! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

Oonuu eva hear anyting like dat yet???

[/ QUOTE ]

Geez, this gave me goosebumps.. this happened to me. I had finally gotten him out of the house. Changed locks and codes etc. He came by trying to get in but couldn't and the cops came and took him away. He is in a psychotic state and we are terrified.

I get a restraining order.

He goes (with help from legal aid person) and requests a hearing to get it lifted.

We both attend hearing. At 10:00 am the judge LIFTS the restraining order. When he was asked where he would be living he answered 333** *MY ADDRESS* [img]/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

He immediately leaves courthouse and heads "home" to my house where my children are.

I BREAK DOWN CRYING and go into THINK overload, sending people to my house to get the children out, frantically trying to figure out what to do next.. within 25 of the longest minutes of my life I file a NEW restraining order. (this time filling out with mental illness verbage which had to be proven later in court..so it was temporary)

By 11:30 the new restraining order was put in place. *exhale* I nearly passed out with relief. Seriously.

BUT remember he had left the courthouse so by 12:30 he was outside my house with cops (I had them show up before I got there) showing them the restraining order had been lifted and asking to be let in.

by 12:45 I had the new (temporary one) and had to show the cops the NEW restraining order so that the cops wouldn't make me let him in.

man... this stuff is no joke and to think that women continue to have to live like this. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[Nunya]

Re: Close Calls

(((dr. b))) Lawks ma.

You know, I think sometimes the only thing that gets through to people like these, is violence. No amount of reasoning seems to get them to understand... and I feel like you may be 'stooping to conquer' but if you have brothers male cousins, friends, get someone to give him a beat down man...

Mi know, mi know... nuff people nah go agree wid mi, but a jus so me seet...

[Nunya]

Re: Close Calls

You know sista g, I think it is scary when we have to rely on a judge to protect us, to issue that piece of paper. I have heard of a case where the judge was in a bad mood and couldn't be bothered and didn't grant the restraining order and the woman was later beaten to within an inch of her life...

Course we know that if a man wants, he's not going to let a bit of paper stand between him and his victims... but still, I don't understand judges who would so blithely lift an order or hesitate about granting one...

[Nunya]

Re: Close Calls

Did anyone catch that 20/20 piece about a month ago where the husband was verbally and physically abusing his wife while he had his 10yo video tape it????

[img]/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]



Here's the clip. Be warned.

[dr. bones]

Re: Close Calls

Sometimes a beat down from a male family member may work, but often times not. In my case, when my dad found out what was really going on, he was mad that I hadn't told him so that he could have brought a gun for protection. I just wanted to get away, not be in the middle of a shoot out at the OK corral.

Sounds like w/ Sista G's case too a beat down wouldn't have taught him a lesson. He was mentally ill, and the only thing to do is get away and try to protect yourself, and your family.

[Nunya]

Re: Close Calls

I know, your defenders could end up getting into serious trouble for vigilantism but damn man... I think that most abusive men feel empowered when the woman runs... they feel like a hunter, she the prey, that kinda thing...

[Boricua_papi]

Re: Close Calls

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
u kno sey a wha day smaddy ask mi why mi an a certain person brukk up
and she sey fe de langest while she blame me and sey mi leff a good man
caa people ongle see the good face that you put out dem noh kno wha happen when no one is around
dem sey who feels it know it yah

[/ QUOTE ]

The woman who was burned: Her husband had become increasingly possesive and jealous. Then it escalated to physical abuse. She finally left him and had a restraining order against him.

Here's the kicker: Her husband went to the judge without the wife's knowledge and asked to have the restraining order lifted as he and his wife were going to seeking counseling together.

And the judge lifted the order without consulting the wife! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

Oonuu eva hear anyting like dat yet???

[/ QUOTE ]

The judge in this case was a complete coward. He retired (at 58 [img]/forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif[/img]) before an investigation regarding his conduct in this case was ordered.

[MarieK]

Re: Close Calls

[ QUOTE ]
huh?

[/ QUOTE ]

NN di story long suh mi gi yuh wah mi think is di pint but long story cut even sharterer, but after they were settled in the relationship she started doing the usual things she did, you know like going out with friends and spending time with her family, well he started fussing about that then it turned from a fuss to all out cursing.

She made the mistake of not insisting on having a life and gave in to him for the first 6-8 weeks, then he viewed it as a sign that she's all his.

One night she visited her neice's school in place of her sister since her sister wasn't in NY at the time, she called and left a message, during the visit he called her and said some really scary things, she decided to sleep at her parent's house (in Long Island) and that's where the nightmare started.

Eeediat bway guh to di parents house wid gun an shat out di winda dem when police show up him was in the process fo reloading suh dem shoot him but nuh kill him. Suh di family move an she leff to another country because even from behind prison he was still scaring her.

[Nunya]

Re: Close Calls

Holeee [img]/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]