The Roommate

[Bandana]

Re: The Roommate

When I had flown down in June for the re-location offer, I met a lady who was selling her mobile home. They wanted out quick, and the price was low, low… I discussed this with my boss and he agreed to purchased the mobile home for me, and let me make payments out of my payroll every two weeks to pay him back. The lady that sold me the mobile, lets call her “Janice” was a stay at home mother with 5 children from 18 down to the foster child who is 3. We discussed the move, and my concern with finding daycare and being able to afford it all.

She offered to provide daycare very cheap, as she spent her day watching children anyway, and could use some extra cash. At the time I told her that my roommate may move down to Cali. with me and watch Imanni, but that I would let her know if I needed her help.

So after the “I’m not your maid” e-mail I called Janice… I told her the situation, and asked if she would still be interested in watching Imanni while I am at work. She gladly accepted, we agreed on a price, and I arranged to take Imanni there the following Monday.

Thank you Lord [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70384-praying.gif[/img] You always seem to look out for me [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/notworthy.gif[/img]

[Bandana]

Re: The Roommate

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Seveen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">in your story - you can almost replace roommate with wife/husband [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] </div></div>

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img]

You know many have refferenced this, on the days when I would come in frustrated my boss would look at me and say...
"wife giving you trouble again" [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70367-help.gif[/img]

[Bandana]

Re: The Roommate

Thanks (((Swedish))) [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif[/img]

[Bandana]

Re: The Roommate

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Sorry mate, but your friend has a point. I mean, do you even pay her? Or you figure that cause she's got a roof over her head and you buy her tampons, that that's enough???

C'mon, even live in care-givers get paid - and time off.

</div></div>

I see what you are saying Nunya...

Our agreement was not that I pay her, but yes, I did give her money when I could afford it...

I also understood if she was not happy, and I offered way before it ever got that bad for her to find an alternative.
But she chose to stay on as "Nanny" and then have attitude about it...

I know I am not perfect, and I admit there may have been more I could do to change the outcome of this story...

[Nunya]

Re: The Roommate

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Bandanna</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I see what you are saying Nunya...

Our agreement was not that I pay her, but yes, I did give her money when I could afford it...

</div></div>

People will agree to all kinda sitn when dem feel say dem no have no adda choice. Is like if you need employment, now, but the only thing that's available is flipping burgers, but you're in an specialized field, you'll, more than likely, flip de damn burgers, so that you can keep your car, or your apartment...

So with your friend. She agreed to the no payment required thing, but damn, it's been how long now??? You're moving up and she's still where she was when she agreed...

She feels like you're taking advantage of her situation, much as you're feeling...

So instead of you guys sitting and talking it out as true friends should, ya'll are banging pots, slamming doors and sending eediat emails...

She feels used. She feels like she's going nowhere. She needs her own money so that she can buy her own damn tampons. With her own money, her self-esteem, which is taking a mighty beating right now, will get recharged.

Put yourself in her place... You may not have made some of the choices that she has, but irregardless, you would want to have your own.

So help her get hers. Pay her.

and oh yeah, you are making arrangements to pay someone else, someone you don't know like that, to care for your only baby. Why couldn't you give this money to your friend instead???

If push comes to shove, she's more likely to jump infront of a bus for Imanni than Janice would...

[Bandana]

Re: The Roommate


So… That night was a Thursday, I went home, and told my Roommate that this arrangement was obviously not working.

I explained that I had made other arrangements for the care of my son to start the following Monday.

I gave her 30 days to find a job and start paying half of the living expenses… As of December 1st she was to have ½ the rent = $300 and ½ the utilities = $150.

$450 dollars a month, is that too much to ask for a room to rent including utilities??? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img]

Not here in California... I don’t think so… [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Bandana]

Re: The Roommate

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
So with your friend. She agreed to the no payment required thing, but damn, it's been how long now??? You're moving up and she's still where she was when she agreed...
</div></div>

I understand, I do... but there is much to the story that I leave out...

There was 3 months in Portland where she cared for Imanni while I worked part time.... the other 6 months I was working from home for my current employeer, and I cared for Imanni more than she did then... she worked 2 months and was fired right before I got the offer to re-locate... I see where you say she had no other alternative than to accept, but in Septemeber when I could see she was not happy, and asked her if she wanted to move, find an job, whatever, she chose to stay....

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
She feels like you're taking advantage of her situation, much as you're feeling...

So instead of you guys sitting and talking it out as true friends should, ya'll are banging pots, slamming doors and sending eediat emails...

She feels used. She feels like she's going nowhere. She needs her own money so that she can buy her own damn tampons. With her own money, her self-esteem, which is taking a mighty beating right now, will get recharged.

Put yourself in her place... You may not have made some of the choices that she has, but irregardless, you would want to have your own.

</div></div>

Your words speek the truth, and I see it... I saw it then, and I am not too proud to admit that when I get mad I don't always carry myself the way I would like... Also having 15 years of her being irresponsible is starting to weigh on me at this point, and I feel the drain....


<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
and oh yeah, you are making arrangements to pay someone else, someone you don't know like that, to care for your only baby. Why couldn't you give this money to your friend instead??? </div></div>

By now I am stressing about how I am going to pay anybody to watch him, but I needed to make some kind of other arrangements. This can't go on any longer...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
If push comes to shove, she's more likely to jump infront of a bus for Imanni than Janice would... </div></div>

Lets see if you feel that way when the story done.... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img]


BTW, I appreciate your feedback Nunya, not everyone can be on my side

Seriously, I see your points...

[Bandana]

Re: The Roommate

Me gwan lunch now...

to be continued... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img]

[Seveen]

Re: The Roommate

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Bandanna</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

to be continued... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img] </div></div>


we know what that means [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Nunya]

Re: The Roommate

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Bandanna</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

BTW, I appreciate your feedback Nunya, not everyone can be on my side

Seriously, I see your points... </div></div>

Oh, but I am not against you. I know nothing is ever this cut and dried and yeah, I should wait til you're done before weighing in... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/blush.gif[/img]

So hurrup!! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img]

[Bandana]

Re: The Roommate

November 2006

I am still paying for everything, and now I need to come up with more money for Janice. She knows my situation, and works with me as best she can. I end up in “the hole” in a big way because I take payday loans to cover it all…

Imanni is doing so much better in the new daycare situation. He is around other kids, and he is coming home singing his alphabet [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] instead of reciting scenes from “Shrek” [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]
Janice is happy to have him. Imanni and the other 3 year old keep eachother busy in the play room. Imanni is being good and enjoying himself [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70384-praying.gif[/img]

Meanwhile the friendship between my roommate and I has taken a serious blow, but we are trying to work through it. She is looking for work, but seems to be lax about finding it, and I am getting more stressed as the month goes on. I have given her a timeline, and December 1st is fast approaching. Finally she gets hired the last week of November. This will not pay her portion of the rent by the time it is due, but it is a good sign, and I float her until her first payday.

[BlessedLadyOfZion]

Re: The Roommate

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Bandanna</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Finally she gets hired the last week of November. This will not pay her portion of the rent by the time it is due, but it is a good sign, and I float her until her first payday.
</div></div>

Mistake # 547
continue

[Bandana]

Re: The Roommate

December 2006

Her December payday comes, and she only has $350.00 to give me. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif[/img] It’s not what we’ve agreed to, but it’s better than nothing, and I take it. I try not to make her feel bad, it’s the Christmas season, we have food, we have shelter, Imanni is well taken care of, and she (the roommate) is gaining some self-esteem.

Her birthday is on December 22nd and every year she gets upset that people are so busy with Christmas that sometimes her birthday goes un-noticed by people, and never is there a big celebration. Now I understand this is common with people born around Christmas, and I see the rub there. Many times over the past 15 years of our friendship I have gone out of my way to do something special for her. This year I am strapped financially and my heart is still bruised from what we have been through. She says she wants a bottle of her favorite liquor, and I think that sounds in my budget, and I come home on her birthday with the bottle… not my favorite gift I’ve ever given, but it made her smile…

for a minute anyway… [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

December 23rd is a Saturday, and Imanni and I are in the living room. I am making a list for the grocery store, trying to think what kind of Christmas dinner I can make with $80 in my bank and no presents under the tree for my baby… Then the roommate comes out, tears streaking down her face. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img]

[Bandana]

Re: The Roommate

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70361-embarassed.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70361-embarassed.gif[/img]

[BlessedLadyOfZion]

Re: The Roommate

*kissteet* a 2 pikney yuh live wid??

anyways, she naw tek care of Imanni and yuh a pay de full rent an bills now anyways...so juss put har out. By har a one way ticket back to OR or weheva yuh did tek har from

Tough love