So an ex-boyfriend

**ZaraJah** · 03-16-2007, 01:20 PM

Re: So an ex-boyfriend

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Compry</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: coolbeans</div><div class="ubbcode-body">how me a give him power?...me a tell him how him past actions affected me..

a noh me call him..him too brite </div></div>

Den don't talk to him. Him nuh muss know sey him did hurt yuh. Why yuh think it took 6 months to call? </div></div>

I agree with some of this Compry. It takes a person who is very strong though not to want some form of revenge aka closure to a hurt that is as recent as six months.

I would let him know, just to reiterate, in case he already does, how much he did hurt me followed by how much I have moved on and that the final nail in that ancient coffin was the opportunity to take his phone call and the comfort I was now feeling by telling him just how much of I jerk I think he is for doing what he did...

**dr. bones** · 03-16-2007, 01:38 PM

Re: So an ex-boyfriend

This is a tough call Tanya. I was just in this same situation 2 weeks ago, but it had only been 3 months since he was cheating, lying, big fat jerk. I did feel better telling him how I felt, and him finally admitting to things also helped. But, now he wants to call and text and IM about how he misses me, and wants to see me, ray ray ray [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/sick.gif[/img]

Whats even more amazing is he is still w/ the girl he cheated w/ but now apparently wants both of us. Revenge has never been something I look for, but him wanting me, and me turning him down feels good.

**dr. bones** · 03-16-2007, 01:49 PM

Re: So an ex-boyfriend

Another lying cheating ex before most-recent-cheating-ex was a different story. I told him several times how much he hurt me and got all of the anger out. Eventually I realized that no matter how much I yelled, cried, explained...it didn't really change him. He is cheating on his current girlfriend, and I'm sure will continue to cheat. The closure there is that I am better off and happy w/o him and time has passed so that I can talk to him w/o all the anger coming back up.

**swedishrasta** · 03-16-2007, 02:33 PM

Re: So an ex-boyfriend

(((Aynat))))

I've been in your situation and I had to wait until I was truly over the person before I spoke to him. Until I had processed the hurt, the betrayal etc...and moved on I was in no shape to even engage one word with this person. Mostly, I had visions of terrible things I wanted to do to him to make him suffer like he did me. Eventually, with time and no contact at all I was able to move forward and the wisdom not to ever get involved with this person again. I used to think that I "needed" to tell him how over him I was..and later realized that he couldn't have cared less...he never realized how much he hurt me and was never able to own up to any of his part in it. Someone once told me that having resentments is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Good luck..stay strong....

**kingy** · 03-16-2007, 06:37 PM

Re: So an ex-boyfriend

What makes yall think by letting him know that you are doing good in life going to make him feel bad?

Negativity will only affect someone if that person allow it to affect them.

If you cuss him out...it will only affect him if he cares. And not because he called you dont mean he cares.

**Bandana** · 03-16-2007, 06:44 PM

Re: So an ex-boyfriend

So whats your advice kingy?? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img]

You think the vice grip gonna get her point across??? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

**CeaBee** · 03-16-2007, 06:48 PM

Re: So an ex-boyfriend

neva mind

**Bandana** · 03-16-2007, 06:55 PM

Re: So an ex-boyfriend

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img] what cools?? come with it!

**kingy** · 03-16-2007, 07:00 PM

Re: So an ex-boyfriend

If it is going to make HERSELF feel good by cussing him out..fine. If it is going to makr HERSELF feel good by wukkin someone else fine. But dont do it because you THINK it will hurt him.

Mi always tell my ooman dat if she mess wid mi mi gone and dont think i will envy har if she is doing better in life after mi gone. Atleast I know that I am not with her anymore and "I" feel good....even if my life becomes worse than hers I will still feel good knowing that we are not together.

**Bandana** · 03-16-2007, 07:10 PM

Re: So an ex-boyfriend

You are right kingy, she should not do anything to make him feel a way. Only to help herself get over/past it.

(((((Aynat))))
[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img]

**diabolical_Tanya** · 03-16-2007, 07:20 PM

Re: So an ex-boyfriend

So the needle nose pliers it is then ...[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img]

**Bandana** · 03-16-2007, 07:22 PM

Re: So an ex-boyfriend

BOAL! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70374-lipsrsealed.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

**dr. bones** · 03-16-2007, 08:20 PM

Re: So an ex-boyfriend

Kingy has a good point. Do whatever it is that makes you feel good. He may never understand how much he hurt you, and he probably will never acknowledge it. Needle nose pliers sounds like his fate [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bannana_purple.gif[/img]

**niceniss** · 03-16-2007, 10:52 PM

Re: So an ex-boyfriend

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Aynat_SlvrTush</div><div class="ubbcode-body">who you had a really bad break up with..calls you out of the blue 6 months after....what do you do/say?

The break up had to do with dishonesty/cheating/lying yet you never had the chance to tell him how you felt (cuss him out an bax him dung)

How do you handle it? </div></div>

do like me do wha day when a disrespectful ol fawt call me since week (outta di blue cause we haven't spoken since last october).
him say "Hi ____ how are you doing"
and me say "why are you calling me guy? don't call me" click! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

nuff ppl deh a world so if one a dem try fi treat yuh bad say goodbye to him and mek it stay dat way.

**niceniss** · 03-16-2007, 10:57 PM

Re: So an ex-boyfriend

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Compry</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: coolbeans</div><div class="ubbcode-body">me will probably hold back on the bax dung </div></div>

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] I think you'll have to....unless he asks to see you in person.

A short true story

A very long time ago I was a very cold person (some may say I'm still cold), anyway, I met someone who was successful in making me feel again. I fell in love with the guy. Life was in colour for me again. I later found out he was also seeing a friend of mind, a friend who he met through me. Cools, I can't and don't want to put in writing how I felt when I found out. Anyway, fast forward...recently he contacted me to cry on my shoulders about a girl who he met and really loved. She had been seeing a few other guys and he found out that she was just using him to get his money. His heart was broken. I told him I understood. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif[/img] </div></div>

what I get from the story is that he got what he dealt [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

So an ex-boyfriend

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