How do I go on??

[jamaicaboo]

Re: How do I go on??

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dear K</div><div class="ubbcode-body">(((((Jamaicaboo))))) I remember you talking about your journey with this man. Unfortunately one phase is over and you're moving into another with your daughter.

Like Susumba suggests, reach out to your community! You'd be surprised at the number of people out there who can offer support. Are you a member of a church, or other org that has events etc? Is there a support group for single parents?

I think Seveen also suggested returning to some of your passions, join a class and meet other people. This is the time to broaden your world, not isolate... Get upa dn get out there

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img] </div></div>

Oh i am keeping busy and things are getting better slowly but as they say time heals all wounds, I read my bible and attend church and it is helping, one day at a time sweet jesus, one day at a time!
I just blame myself but I am a bit stronger everyday! thanks all

[annshan2]

Re: How do I go on??

Jamaicaboo & daughter [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70384-praying.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70384-praying.gif[/img]

[MarieK]

Re: How do I go on??

jboo my email hasn't changed and if you need aphone number PM me. But in the meantime you didn't leave, you didn't deceive anyone, he left and truth be told your daughter is better off without a sorry excuse for a man like that as a father so don't blame yourself.

Time will heal wounds but it sure will feel a heck of a lot better if you are divorced. Can't you get a divorce by default?

[mountaingal]

Re: How do I go on??

sorry to hear about your situation, jamaicaboo. hopefully where you're moving to takes you closer to your family so you can have some support. i would also consider getting a lawyer to make sure the divorce goes through and you get something set up for support - it may be that your estranged husband does not think you're strong enough to follow through on this and he may need to learn different.

also, and this is the toughest, as much as you can don't bad mouth your ex in front of your daughter. he's still her dad, despite his ways. sometimes children lack understanding, and because you're closer than him, you'll get all the accusations, and this will become your fault even more if you talk bad about him.

hang in there. nuff of us have been in similar situations and have made through.

[Nanook]

Re: How do I go on??

Ya know Mountain, you are so right. My son's father never contacted him from when he was 3 years old until he was 16. The last time we saw him at 3, he had dropped my son off after an afternoon visitation and promised him he would be there on friday to get him for the weekend. Well, a dozen years later he came around begging my son to forgive him and go on an outing with him. While they were visiting this moron told my son that the reason he hadn't seen him in 12 years is because i had HID him on him! My poor child, not wanting to feel the abandonment believed him. It was a very hard time. And even though i didn't ever say anything bad to my son about his father, it took for him to see it for himself. he took a short leave when he went to live with "daddy" shortly after that happened. he lasted less than a month before he saw the real person behind the lies. The man is dead now. I was just visiting with my son and his beautiful family this weekend and someone inquired about his dad. His very own words were..when i heard he was dead i didn't care and I didn't even go to the funeral". But this was somethign he needed to find out for himself.

[fraggie]

Re: How do I go on??


As long there is life there hope and you need people around to
To feed you on positive thoughts. You very strong woman to make
it this far. I understand this is problem way out of y our control.

I am sure he knows his way home, so please don't let your self feel
rejected cause his the one who rejected his own self from most important people in his life.

I won't wish bad for him but hope where ever he is today God is a
witness, this man have heart there much be some con chance in him
that will allow him to reconsider the mistake his making.

My guidance on to is to pray to the Almighty God with good thoughts and feed your self with positive thoughts. You and your
daughter don't deserve this. I hope all goes well, God bless you.

[Ochigal]

Re: How do I go on??

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs. MarieK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">jboo my email hasn't changed and if you need aphone number PM me. But in the meantime you didn't leave, you didn't deceive anyone, he left and truth be told your daughter is better off without a sorry excuse for a man like that as a father so don't blame yourself.

Time will heal wounds but it sure will feel a heck of a lot better if you are divorced. Can't you get a divorce by default? </div></div>

Ditto on what MarieK says...I am here too if you need to talk...

AND YES...get that divorce. He may be out there ruining YOUR credit...or worse racking up bills that you dont even know about. At the very least file for a LEGAL SEPARATION so that you aren responsible for anything he does.

[MarieK]

Re: How do I go on??

Oh Yes, I forgot about that, if you don't get at least a legal separation or somethign filed w/ the court he can rack up bills in YOUR name and YOU will be responsible.

Let him go. You ahve dealth with much worse than this and have overcome that and dont' worry, his family is insignificant at this point.

[kingy]

Re: How do I go on??

Did not read most of the responses..but what happen why this man walk out of your life like this? It sound like something really bad happen for him to want to hurt you so bad.

[MarieK]

Re: How do I go on??

Kingy, sweetie pie, it may not even be about her but him.

You ever hear this saying "it's not you it's me" sometimes it is the other person.

Yuh know how much man mi know weh juss up an leff suh an dem will tell yuh, a nuh di ooman, he's just not ready for a family and is doing it the best way he knows how or probably following examples of what other men have done in his family.

Hurting her is the not the issue, it's an innocent child that is cruel and inhumane.

[fraggie]

Re: How do I go on??


I believe thats what happen. I agree with your post. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]

[Suesumba]

Re: How do I go on??

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: kingy</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Did not read most of the responses..but what happen why this man walk out of your life like this? It sound like something really bad happen for him to want to hurt you so bad. </div></div>

kingy, go and read Wahalla's response. it says a lot right there. too often these scenarios end exactly like this. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif[/img] it's sad, but it's true [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif[/img]

[gullygirl]

Re: How do I go on??

ohhh.. sad fi true..

How do you go on?.. Just start believing you can..

[MarieK]

Re: How do I go on??

But some don't. Any marriage can end under any circumstances, you can even grow up together side by side know the person inside out and it can still end. I do not think the LDR issue has much bearings here.

My friend just left his wife. they were married, she filed for him they had a baby and he left. His reasoning, he feels remorseful but he says he was not ready. Another friend married her husband, had a kid, he left. Any difference? Well yes one couple started out the classic LDR while the other was homegrown, but aren't they going through the same thing, same processw with hopefully the same result?

[nattydreadgirl]

Re: How do I go on??

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs. MarieK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">But some don't. Any marriage can end under any circumstances, you can even grow up together side by side know the person inside out and it can still end. I do not think the LDR issue has much bearings here.

My friend just left his wife. they were married, she filed for him they had a baby and he left. His reasoning, he feels remorseful but he says he was not ready. Another friend married her husband, had a kid, he left. Any difference? Well yes one couple started out the classic LDR while the other was homegrown, but aren't they going through the same thing, same processw with hopefully the same result?

</div></div>

You reason with a lot of sense. LDR, Homegrown, most relationships just don't last as we would hope and wish.