single, fabulous and 30/40 something?

[Suesumba]

k. after watching countless episodes of sex and the city, am i to believe that women are really happy being a certain age and not settled?

as in. having had children, been married/relationship bound. house? car? lessons?

what about the men?

[Nylah]

Re: single, fabulous and 30/40 something?

Nope! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif[/img]

That show used to depress me 'cause I didnt want to have any of their lives!

[gullygirl]

Re: single, fabulous and 30/40 something?

I thought the women of sex and the city were not happy being single.. well, except for Samantha..

dem funny as hell doe.. love di show..

[Suesumba]

Re: single, fabulous and 30/40 something?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: gullygirl</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I thought the women of sex and the city were not happy being single..</div></div>

i think, not the show itself, but we women and our women's magazines/feminism are really selling us a bag of goods. now here i go contradicting every stance i've ever held, but it's for the sake of argument.

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]



media tells us that the single woman in her 30's is leading the life that every married woman wishes that she had. the life of the single, dating, happy and secure woman, with the freedom to do whatever she wants.

while women in their 30's may be happy and secure in their lives, lets just say that the "dating" can be less than fabulous.

agree? disagree?

what i'm talking about here is the declining options a woman in said age bracket faces. the truth is most men even when they're practically pushing up daisies are seeking the young'uns in their 20's.

ain't nothing fabulous about dating at *ahem* this age.

[Nylah]

Re: single, fabulous and 30/40 something?

Dating in your 30's is less fun than I expected. I was never worried until I pass the "half way" mark....

Some men's reaction to you is like seeing the expiry date on a milk carton:

Him: So how old are you?
Me: I'm 3__ years old
Him: Oh! And you have no kids already?
Me: No
Him: How can you plan to have kids so old? Sumpn wrong with you?
Me: [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img]

[Gen]

Re: single, fabulous and 30/40 something?

some women are happy with that and others are not...just suh it guh

[Suesumba]

Re: single, fabulous and 30/40 something?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Dating in your 30's is less fun than I expected. I was never worried until I pass the "half way" mark....

Some men's reaction to you is like seeing the expiry date on a milk carton:

Him: So how old are you?
Me: I'm 3__ years old
Him: Oh! And you have no kids already?
Me: No
Him: How can you plan to have kids so old? Sumpn wrong with you?
Me: [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] </div></div>

see, that's some of the issues i'm talking about. and Geneva i do agree it's on an individual basis, but overall i don't think it's all so peachy and most, no not all, but most are conning themselves into believing that everthing is just peachy.

nyla, if you have children with that comes the assumption that you come with *issues* and *baggage* [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img] so you're dammned if you do and dammed if you don't.

[mspeach]

Re: single, fabulous and 30/40 something?

I agree to an extent, say if your thirty-two or below thirty five and you have everything you want house,car and no kids, educated, your in a pretty good position, but I must say it must get difficult as you get older, then to find someone that doesn't already have kids is a whole different story.

[gullygirl]

Re: single, fabulous and 30/40 something?

I agree that the media is selling us a bag of goods, and sadly some women are buying it... and from all accounts, dating really is less than fabulous..

I have two close friends, one's in her 30's one in her 40's..
Aside from the age, their situation is almost identical..
Single, never been married, no children, college educated, home owners etc..

They are both very unhappily single.. To a certain extent they are both responsible for their inability to "snag" a man.
They are looking for the "perfect" man.. No children, certain color, height, income bracket etc..

Another friend is happily married now.. she's also in her 30's and after years of refusing to date a man with children, ends up marrying one with 2 baby mamas ....

The dating pool greatly decreases once you get past 30, unless you really want to just settle fi a anyting..

[Kimberley24]

Re: single, fabulous and 30/40 something?

I am a BIG fan of Sex and the City mainly because it's amusing and at first made me feel liberated as a female but if u watch every single episode as i have u will see that it really is showing you that it actually sucks to be that age and unmarried without kids. At the end of the show all the women ended up in fairly stable relationships.
Also as mentioned by others it doesn't get any easier what with the younger competition out there. My Mom is in the 40's age group and she is quite sad and have a hard time finding anyone suitable and she is NOT very picky....You know the worst thing, some sweet white man did interested in her but due to race insecurities she would NEVA give them a chance and si there she sit at home bored and miserable.... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif[/img]

[Nylah]

Re: single, fabulous and 30/40 something?

Grrrr, lost my post!

SueSumba you're right. You cant win either way.

Most of my married friends with kids tell me that I blessed that I dont have their lives. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img] This can be irriating if they catch me on the wrong day!

I expected to be married with 2.3 kids by this time. It's not like I chose fabulous and single life over the fabulous but married life. I have the education, the house, the car, the job but life snuck up on me. But if you are in your 30's the automatic asspn is that you chose it or your damaged goods.

Either points can be true for some but not all of us [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

[Suesumba]

Re: single, fabulous and 30/40 something?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ms_peach</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I agree to an extent, say if your thirty-two or below thirty five and you have everything you want house,car and no kids, educated, your in a pretty good position, but I must say it must get difficult as you get older, then to find someone that doesn't already have kids is a whole different story. </div></div>

i agree with the below thirty-five thing with all the material possessions. then, you have to be careful that the person you're hoping to attract is in the same position as you, which a lot of times in a *certain* community ~~~ cough, cough, black community ~~~ is not always the case. but i'm not gonna make this a race thing.

as gully girl said, some women have a shopping list of qualities they're looking for in a man. unrealistic you think?

maybe by the times a few extra pounds start piling up on the ol bumpa and we start noticing the appearance of "fine lines" the shopping list goes out the window? yah think? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img]

personally speaking i've dropped certain requirements (not lowering of standard mind you), just certain prerequisites to hook up with the person i'm with right now. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70377-loveeyes.gif[/img] but it's not someone i would have had in the cross hairs 15 years go.

[Nylah]

Re: single, fabulous and 30/40 something?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> They are both very unhappily single.. To a certain extent they are both responsible for their inability to "snag" a man.
They are looking for the "perfect" man.. No children, certain color, height, income bracket etc..
</div></div>

I agree to an extent with this but I'm really not that picky [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img] I am okay with a man having kids (more afraid of the crazy baby mama ting) but I find it ironic that I get so much grief b/c I DONT have kids.

Seriously, I gone thru so much stuff in my life that the goal isnt to find that perfect on paper mate, but rather knowing someone will stick with you in all times.

But....the pickin's are slim and I cant say I have no standards at all!

[Suesumba]

Re: single, fabulous and 30/40 something?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kimberley25</div><div class="ubbcode-body">but if u watch every single episode as i have u will see that it really is showing you that it actually sucks </div></div>

i used to think the samantha character was sad and not funny in any way. she reminds me of so many women i work with. yep, there are TONS of them here, great jobs, own condos/homes, etc. etc. yet the bawl and cry daily at the dearth of datable men. and forget hitting the cocktail lounges on a friday night, it's all married men, all the time hoping to score before they head off to wifey [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img] or some young stud who is hoping to score some cash [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70379-moneyeyes.gif[/img] for his plunking skills [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] yes, there often are alternative motives for a 26 y/o actively pursuing 40 something women. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img]

supposedly fabulous personalities, but we work together so they have to be nice

[Nylah]

Re: single, fabulous and 30/40 something?

Yet still I'm not trying to be too pessimistic about it all. I try not to buy into what the media is selling. Sometimes it works...

If Charlotte could be the eternal optimist then so can I!