Your husband's family what would you do?

[Boopie2]

You have been married for only 2 years and have one baby. Your husband works long hours during the week and just about every weekend you have to spend time with his family or else they make you feel guilty. His mother will start crying at the drop of a hat when you try and make other plans without them. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/crybaby.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img]

You spent the last 2 years vacationing with his mom, dad, brother in law, sister in law and their two kids. You all shared a beach house, airfare, food blah blah blah. Money wise your sister and brother in law can't afford to go on the trip so they go for free. The cost is divided between you, your husband, his mom and dad. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] You didn't say one peep about it last year cause you didn't want to make waves. Oh yeah the brother in law is religious and doesn't believe in birth control pills or any other form of birth control for his wife.


Just about time to start planning vacation but this time your sister in law is pregnant with her 3rd child. Everybody wants to do the same thing they did last year but you decide that you would like to do something different and cheaper. Well the price for the beach house along is $6,000. His family says you and hubby should split the cost ( again sister and brother and kids are getting a scott free vacation).

Your mother in law says "Oh they'll never be able to afford a vacation" we should just split the $6,000 between the 4 of us. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] So you need to pay $3,000! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/desdentado.gif[/img] Now you are pizzed to the highest and start thinking for that amount of money the 3 of you can go somewhere nice like a cruise or something. Why do they have to spend so much freaking time with his family? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/mad2.gif[/img]

Now the husband is upset and calls you selfish. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/mad2.gif[/img] Knowing his mother will add drama with the water works what would you do, besides getting a divorce. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/fight.gif[/img]

[CeaBee]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

damn...so divorce out of the question for sure?

[Yvonne N.]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

The togetherness is a little bit much ...but...how can you like the husband...and not his family?

My suggestion is that she finds something to like about all of them so that her life will be easier to share with them. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img]

[Boopie2]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Shandra</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The togetherness is a little bit much ...but...how can you like the husband...and not his family?

My suggestion is that she finds something to like about all of them so that her life will be easier to share with them. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] </div></div>

She doesn't have a problem with not liking his family, but every blastid weekend you have to spend it with them? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] You, your husband and baby are a family too. She cries, he feels guilty and then makes you feel like you're the selfish one for not wanting to spend some kind of alone time with him and the baby.

I'm talking about "EVERY WEEKEND" now vacations too. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] What did he marry her for if he"s still attached to his mom"s tits. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Boopie2]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

[quote=coolbeans]damn...so divorce out of the question for sure?


I can see her being nice in the beginning, I went through something almost like this with my husband's family. It was getting to a point where you were being put last on everything. Of course he will think nothing of it but if it were your family doing it you would have heard his mouth. Tension builds up through the years and when you jump hot you are labeled the difficult and selfish one. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bexbad.gif[/img]


It will be interesting to see which route she chooses. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] If she chooses to keep her mouth shut and go along "again" the same situation will pop up next year. Should she be responsible to pay every year for her brother and sister plus 3 kids? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img] I can see if you get in a bind but come on every freaking year you have to dig in your pockets cause "they can't afford it? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/mad2.gif[/img]

[Lynntt]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Boopie2</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Shandra</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The togetherness is a little bit much ...but...how can you like the husband...and not his family?

My suggestion is that she finds something to like about all of them so that her life will be easier to share with them. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] </div></div>

She doesn't have a problem with not liking his family, but every blastid weekend you have to spend it with them? : </div></div>
When they were dating, did he spend every weekend with his family? Did they always take vacations together? Or is this something that started after they got married? If it was going on before they got married, why would she expect things to change?

[Boopie2]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Lynntt</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Boopie2</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Shandra</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The togetherness is a little bit much ...but...how can you like the husband...and not his family?

My suggestion is that she finds something to like about all of them so that her life will be easier to share with them. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] </div></div>

She doesn't have a problem with not liking his family, but every blastid weekend you have to spend it with them? : </div></div>
When they were dating, did he spend every weekend with his family? Did they always take vacations together? Or is this something that started after they got married? If it was going on before they got married, why would she expect things to change?
</div></div>


No of course they didn't do trips or the every weekend thing. It wasn't until she became pregnant with the baby then things started to change. The baby is the 3rd grandchild, even if it wasn't it"s way past time for them to bond as a family. Even the Bible speaks of husbands and wives becoming one flesh and leaving their mothers and fathers.

You may love the taste of ice cream, having it now and again is a real treat, but eating it everyday would be sickening. I had a friend who's husband became controlling after marriage. He loved to go to the airport and watch the planes take off. At first she thought it was romantic until he made her go every Sunday all day long mine you. They never boarded a plane to go on vacation just would stand there every Sunday watching the planes take off.

They were married for a couple of years. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/popcorn.gif[/img]

[Yvonne N.]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Boopie2</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Shandra</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The togetherness is a little bit much ...but...how can you like the husband...and not his family?

My suggestion is that she finds something to like about all of them so that her life will be easier to share with them. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] </div></div>

She doesn't have a problem with not liking his family, but every blastid weekend you have to spend it with them? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] You, your husband and baby are a family too. She cries, he feels guilty and then makes you feel like you're the selfish one for not wanting to spend some kind of alone time with him and the baby.

I'm talking about "EVERY WEEKEND" now vacations too. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] What did he marry her for if he"s still attached to his mom"s tits. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] </div></div>

Where him come from?
Sometimes families from the Eastern cultures are extremely family-oriented and see this togetherness as just part ah di runnings of 'being one'. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

mi understand how she mussi feel doah...

[Hush Darlin]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

sorry that inlaw ish is grounds for divorce
unless she did marry the whole family
dats a bit too much family bonding and it is not even her own family
way over the top i must say

[Suesumba]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

after she has the kid, she should just run weh

[Seveen]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

i would be difficult [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img]

[MarieK]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

Simple, I would NOT go and go elsewhere by myself with my kids (if wi have none).

Some African cultures tan suh bout family and inlaw, mi married yuh an nat yuh family.

First of all, how did she allow the inlaws to become so involved in her marriage.

[kia027]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs. MarieK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Simple, I would NOT go and go elsewhere by myself with my kids (if wi have none).

Some African cultures tan suh bout family and inlaw, mi married yuh an nat yuh family.

First of all, how did she allow the inlaws to become so involved in her marriage.

</div></div>

but in other cultures when u marry the person you do marry the family.

I would request a family meeting and raise her concerns. I would offer to spend every other weekend with them as a compromise (btw where is her family in this??). As for the vacation, if the husband's sibling cant afford the vacation, then I would put the responsibility on the parents if they want the sibling & family to go. She has her own family expenses & funds to manage as well and just say she cant afford it this year.

[MarieK]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

Kia tell mi seh yuh nuh serious. every other weekend. Inna which country? Merca. Mi can barely fine time fi spend by miself much less every other weekend.

I am not marrying into anyone's family and we don't need to have a family meeting, if their son is an adult and married and they can't understand that he now has a separate life then what they need is counseling.

I don't have time for foolishness and this is in that class. I have yet to see a relationship with the extended family inovlved where people soooooooooo happy.

Mi happy inna mi likkle corner by miself. Mi nuh have a prablem wid dem wanting to be close to dem son but I have a family and if mi nuh spen suh much time wid dem wah mek yuh think mi want to be adopted by fi yuh.

and another thing, I would NOT tell them I cannot afford to pay for them, simply say I am NOT going to, you see that will eliminate future financial requests and who cares if nuh chat tuh mi afta dat,

[Hush Darlin]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">after the has the kid, she should just run weh </div></div>
and get alimony and child support