oomen wey keep yuths fram faddar

[blugiant]

Re: oomen wey keep yuths fram faddar

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: jah yout</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Geneva</div><div class="ubbcode-body">manipulate is one thing, but when the woman is the primary care giver and has sole custody, yes she can decide whether or not she want the pickney dem shack up with the puppa & him dif diff oomans dem [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img] </div></div>

but can she decide that the youths should never SEE their father?
some women even move out of state and go thru great lengths out of SPITE or BITTERNESS to hurt the man by denying him the right to have some kind of relationship with their child...
more fire! </div></div>

sum oomen doan even tell da mann dat imm iss da yuth faddar soo dem caan pikk ann choose woo fii bee da faddar

[blugiant]

Re: oomen wey keep yuths fram faddar

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Geneva</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You are obviously talking about extreme cases. I was just using that as an example of where the father was being irresponsible "in the presence" of the child. There are 2 sides to every custody battle. unnu try memba dat.

I guess I should have clarified up above that it goes both ways, it really boils down to the "interest" of the child.

Mi nevah seh nothing above bout preventing visitation in my prior post suh mi nuh know weh dat a come from.

anyway the chread a get hard fi decipher since blugiant post suh mi can't overstand what a gwaan [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] </div></div>

wen yu chattinn bout da man wass irrespansible yu sure nah chattinn bout yu doan like da decision da mann mekk. soo imm irrespansible cah imm natt doinn watt yu waan imm fii doo.

tree side inn custodee battle cah da judge will decide usuallee inna da maddar fayvah

[jah_yout]

Re: oomen wey keep yuths fram faddar

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SweetSsop</div><div class="ubbcode-body">so wait if the man nah support the child
the madda fe hunt dung the wukliss man and mek him see the child </div></div>

different scenario dat...
then it's the father who is choosing to stay away, not the mother preventing him from seeing his child;
different thread dat

[MrsBlue]

Re: oomen wey keep yuths fram faddar

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: blugiant</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: TeeTee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My reasoning isn't the child support although it's not enough. I could careless about his womenly ways cause my son rarely stay the night with him. The reason why I stopped my son from seeing his father is because he's irresponsible, right after I took him to court he started taking it out on my child. That I can not have. My son said he misses him but not really interested in seeing him anyway. The rare times that he calls for him, about twice in the last year, I let it go to voicemail then delete it. </div></div>

yu knoo itt bout dat money cah dat y moas oomen tekk menn too court ova widd regard too dem yuth. still mii doan like oww sum menn doan mine dem yuths wen dem caan afford itt. dat prablem iss dat sum ooman too greedee fii trii reach campramise widdout goinn too court.

soo yu tekk da mann too court ova oonnoo yuth den imm tunn irrespansible. y iss itt dat oomen tekk mann too court ann doan tink dat imm aggoo react cah imm feel dat imm wass wranged

carefull cah wen yu yuth fine out yu delete faddar message imm miight start fii ole dat against yu fii keepinn imm fram imm faddar. sum time yuth parrot watt dem maddar sey widd regard too dem faddar till dem ole enuff fii challenge wat dem maddar gawn widd </div></div> <span style="color: #3333FF">Okay, now that's a bit too much.

When a man has to be forced by the court to pay child support because 1) he's angry at the mother, 2) he feels that he shouldn't have to, and/or 3) he's too lazy to get a job, that's irresponsible.

That's not necessarily a reason to deny him seeing the children. But if he's angry and/or spiteful, he will decide to do visitation his way. Which pretty much means whenever he feels like it. Every weekend, every other weekend, sporadically.

Why wouldn't a mother take the father to court if he is not providing anything? When there is anger and bitterness between the two, there won't be compromise. Particularly when the father's idea of compromise is nothing at all. Why should he feel wronged?

Still, none of this is a good reason to prevent the father from seeing his children. Whatever foolishness he does will only come back to haunt him later when the children are grown and see things through adult eyes.</span>

[Seveen]

Re: oomen wey keep yuths fram faddar

men use this excuse when they know they owe money and can't look you or the kid in the eye

[Regina75]

Re: oomen wey keep yuths fram faddar

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: TeeTee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My reasoning isn't the child support although it's not enough. I could careless about his womenly ways cause my son rarely stay the night with him. The reason why I stopped my son from seeing his father is because he's irresponsible, right after I took him to court he started taking it out on my child. That I can not have. My son said he misses him but not really interested in seeing him anyway. The rare times that he calls for him, about twice in the last year, I let it go to voicemail then delete it. </div></div>

My daughter's "father" isn't paying any child support. However, I was still accepting his phone calls because I wanted them to still be able to communicate. The problem is that he is not consistent with the calls. He lives out of state and doesn't visit so she relies on the phone calls. My daughter (who is 3) cries for him because she doesn't understand why she can't talk to her "father". He refuses to give me a contact number so she can't call him. I asked several times for him to call on a consistent basis, that he could decide what the frequency should be but that it needed to be consistent (at least once a week). Was that too much to ask? I explained that I was the one that had to comfort her when she's upset that he doesn't call. He failed to call consistently, and I refuse to put her through this so I let the calls go to voicemail too!

[Daoud4]

Re: oomen wey keep yuths fram faddar

Blu - It's not about the money why I act this way towards him. My son is almost 8. His father had an injury and was out of work pretty much since he was born. I asked him since he's home all day if he could watch the baby to save d/c fee's. He said yes but was never home when it was time to drop him off. I didn't say nothing, enrolled him in day care and kept it moving. Since then his father has had another child and started working about 2 years ago, after a year (to let him get on his feet) I said we need to work something out. He said ok how about I'll pay his afterschool care fees. I agreed, he never paid a dime (I'm not one to ask more then once) he said why didn't I remind him [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] Anyway, I said ok school is over can you pay his camp fees..he agreed, still nothing. The entire time he saw his son freely, although sporatically. Basically when ever he wanted him and he was available. Finally I started to court process. From that moment he became enraged, I wont get into details but all of which my son witnessed. I still never denied him to see his son, he cut himself off from my son for 5 months after we went to court. Wouldn't return his calls nor visit him. After that my son seen him once, they went on an outing via his grandmother. My son said his dad was so cold to him (which was strange to him cause they were seemingly close prior to the court issue). From then on I decided my son can decide when he wants to see his dad, since he doesn't ask I delete the calls. Who so ever doesn't agree oh well. The day he asks to see his father I'll let him.

I think it's important to add that I feel nothng for his father one way or the other. No anger, no love, nothing. As long as he doesn't mess with my son I could careless. I have nothing to gain by not letting him see his son. I just want my child to be happy and when he comes from visiting his father he isn't happy.

Anyhoo, that's my story.. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]

[Daoud4]

Re: oomen wey keep yuths fram faddar

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Miss_G</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: TeeTee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My reasoning isn't the child support although it's not enough. I could careless about his womenly ways cause my son rarely stay the night with him. The reason why I stopped my son from seeing his father is because he's irresponsible, right after I took him to court he started taking it out on my child. That I can not have. My son said he misses him but not really interested in seeing him anyway. The rare times that he calls for him, about twice in the last year, I let it go to voicemail then delete it. </div></div>

My daughter's "father" isn't paying any child support. However, I was still accepting his phone calls because I wanted them to still be able to communicate. The problem is that he is not consistent with the calls. He lives out of state and doesn't visit so she relies on the phone calls. My daughter (who is 3) cries for him because she doesn't understand why she can't talk to her "father". He refuses to give me a contact number so she can't call him. I asked several times for him to call on a consistent basis, that he could decide what the frequency should be but that it needed to be consistent (at least once a week). Was that too much to ask? I explained that I was the one that had to comfort her when she's upset that he doesn't call. He failed to call consistently, and I refuse to put her through this so I let the calls go to voicemail too! </div></div>


Miss Gee - Thank you...That's what I was trying to say....

[Seveen]

Re: oomen wey keep yuths fram faddar

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: TeeTee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Blu - It's not about the money why I act this way towards him. My son is almost 8. His father had an injury and was out of work pretty much since he was born. I asked him since he's home all day if he could watch the baby to save d/c fee's. He said yes but was never home when it was time to drop him off. I didn't say nothing, enrolled him in day care and kept it moving. Since then his father has had another child and started working about 2 years ago, after a year (to let him get on his feet) I said we need to work something out. He said ok how about I'll pay his afterschool care fees. I agreed, he never paid a dime (I'm not one to ask more then once) he said why didn't I remind him [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] Anyway, I said ok school is over can you pay his camp fees..he agreed, still nothing. The entire time he saw his son freely, although sporatically. Basically when ever he wanted him and he was available. Finally I started to court process. From that moment he became enraged, I wont get into details but all of which my son witnessed. I still never denied him to see his son, he cut himself off from my son for 5 months after we went to court. Wouldn't return his calls nor visit him. After that my son seen him once, they went on an outing via his grandmother. My son said his dad was so cold to him (which was strange to him cause they were seemingly close prior to the court issue). From then on I decided my son can decide when he wants to see his dad, since he doesn't ask I delete the calls. Who so ever doesn't agree oh well. The day he asks to see his father I'll let him.

I think it's important to add that I feel nothng for his father one way or the other. No anger, no love, nothing. As long as he doesn't mess with my son I could careless. I have nothing to gain by not letting him see his son. I just want my child to be happy and when he comes from visiting his father he isn't happy.

Anyhoo, that's my story.. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] </div></div>

i hear you Tee Tee
my son's father thinks the money is for me
well he owes so much arrears i will be able to retire off them
he thinks after 18 you don't have to pay
arrears are forever
i already got his income tax refund this year [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70458-applaud.gif[/img] and that's about it - oh some wrestling action figures and a couple of movies [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Suesumba]

Re: oomen wey keep yuths fram faddar

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Miss_G</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: TeeTee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My reasoning isn't the child support although it's not enough. I could careless about his womenly ways cause my son rarely stay the night with him. The reason why I stopped my son from seeing his father is because he's irresponsible, right after I took him to court he started taking it out on my child. That I can not have. My son said he misses him but not really interested in seeing him anyway. The rare times that he calls for him, about twice in the last year, I let it go to voicemail then delete it. </div></div>

My daughter's "father" isn't paying any child support. However, I was still accepting his phone calls because I wanted them to still be able to communicate. The problem is that he is not consistent with the calls. He lives out of state and doesn't visit so she relies on the phone calls. My daughter (who is 3) cries for him because she doesn't understand why she can't talk to her "father". He refuses to give me a contact number so she can't call him. I asked several times for him to call on a consistent basis, that he could decide what the frequency should be but that it needed to be consistent (at least once a week). Was that too much to ask? I explained that I was the one that had to comfort her when she's upset that he doesn't call. He failed to call consistently, and I refuse to put her through this so I let the calls go to voicemail too! </div></div>

these two posts are making me very sad and angry.

[MrsBlue]

Re: oomen wey keep yuths fram faddar

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: TeeTee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Blu - It's not about the money why I act this way towards him. My son is almost 8. His father had an injury and was out of work pretty much since he was born. I asked him since he's home all day if he could watch the baby to save d/c fee's. He said yes but was never home when it was time to drop him off. I didn't say nothing, enrolled him in day care and kept it moving. Since then his father has had another child and started working about 2 years ago, after a year (to let him get on his feet) I said we need to work something out. He said ok how about I'll pay his afterschool care fees. I agreed, he never paid a dime (I'm not one to ask more then once) he said why didn't I remind him [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] Anyway, I said ok school is over can you pay his camp fees..he agreed, still nothing. The entire time he saw his son freely, although sporatically. Basically when ever he wanted him and he was available. Finally I started to court process. From that moment he became enraged, I wont get into details but all of which my son witnessed. I still never denied him to see his son, he cut himself off from my son for 5 months after we went to court. Wouldn't return his calls nor visit him. After that my son seen him once, they went on an outing via his grandmother. My son said his dad was so cold to him (which was strange to him cause they were seemingly close prior to the court issue). From then on I decided my son can decide when he wants to see his dad, since he doesn't ask I delete the calls. Who so ever doesn't agree oh well. The day he asks to see his father I'll let him.

I think it's important to add that I feel nothng for his father one way or the other. No anger, no love, nothing. As long as he doesn't mess with my son I could careless. I have nothing to gain by not letting him see his son. I just want my child to be happy and when he comes from visiting his father he isn't happy.

Anyhoo, that's my story.. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] </div></div> <span style="color: #3333FF">Me, Blue or blugiant, blu? I wasn't responding to you, I was responding to blugiant.

ETA: Now, actually having read the post... Wow, we must have had children by the same man! </span>

[Regina75]

Re: oomen wey keep yuths fram faddar

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Miss_G</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: TeeTee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My reasoning isn't the child support although it's not enough. I could careless about his womenly ways cause my son rarely stay the night with him. The reason why I stopped my son from seeing his father is because he's irresponsible, right after I took him to court he started taking it out on my child. That I can not have. My son said he misses him but not really interested in seeing him anyway. The rare times that he calls for him, about twice in the last year, I let it go to voicemail then delete it. </div></div>

My daughter's "father" isn't paying any child support. However, I was still accepting his phone calls because I wanted them to still be able to communicate. The problem is that he is not consistent with the calls. He lives out of state and doesn't visit so she relies on the phone calls. My daughter (who is 3) cries for him because she doesn't understand why she can't talk to her "father". He refuses to give me a contact number so she can't call him. I asked several times for him to call on a consistent basis, that he could decide what the frequency should be but that it needed to be consistent (at least once a week). Was that too much to ask? I explained that I was the one that had to comfort her when she's upset that he doesn't call. He failed to call consistently, and I refuse to put her through this so I let the calls go to voicemail too! </div></div>

these two posts are making me very sad and angry. </div></div>

Think about how I feel witnessing the distress that my daughter goes through everyday because she misses him. I welcome any advise/suggestions/words of wisdom from other single moms who've dealt with this. It's tough but I am doing my best to make the right choices going forward for my daughter.

[Seveen]

Re: oomen wey keep yuths fram faddar

right now - i let my son talk on the phone, call his dad and go out with him (when he shows up announced)

i know he's safe with him
i figure he'll find out what a butthead is dad is on his own later
my son will know i didn't keep his dad away from him
BUT I AIN'T BUYING NO FATHER'S DAY GIFT [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/yahoo.gif[/img]

[MrsBlue]

Re: oomen wey keep yuths fram faddar

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Miss_G</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Think about how I feel witnessing the distress that my daughter goes through everyday because she misses him. I welcome any advise/suggestions/words of wisdom from other single moms who've dealt with this. It's tough but I am doing my best to make the right choices going forward for my daughter.
</div></div> <span style="color: #3333FF">I don't think there's much you can do except suffer through it until your daughter is old enough to (somewhat) understand. You can't make him be a responsible father. It might be a good idea to find a positive male figure that can be a constant in your daughter's life so that you can minimize her taking it personally. Doesn't have to be a partner, a brother, cousin, your father. </span>

[Daoud4]

Re: oomen wey keep yuths fram faddar

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Blueness</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: TeeTee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Blu - It's not about the money why I act this way towards him. My son is almost 8. His father had an injury and was out of work pretty much since he was born. I asked him since he's home all day if he could watch the baby to save d/c fee's. He said yes but was never home when it was time to drop him off. I didn't say nothing, enrolled him in day care and kept it moving. Since then his father has had another child and started working about 2 years ago, after a year (to let him get on his feet) I said we need to work something out. He said ok how about I'll pay his afterschool care fees. I agreed, he never paid a dime (I'm not one to ask more then once) he said why didn't I remind him [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] Anyway, I said ok school is over can you pay his camp fees..he agreed, still nothing. The entire time he saw his son freely, although sporatically. Basically when ever he wanted him and he was available. Finally I started to court process. From that moment he became enraged, I wont get into details but all of which my son witnessed. I still never denied him to see his son, he cut himself off from my son for 5 months after we went to court. Wouldn't return his calls nor visit him. After that my son seen him once, they went on an outing via his grandmother. My son said his dad was so cold to him (which was strange to him cause they were seemingly close prior to the court issue). From then on I decided my son can decide when he wants to see his dad, since he doesn't ask I delete the calls. Who so ever doesn't agree oh well. The day he asks to see his father I'll let him.

I think it's important to add that I feel nothng for his father one way or the other. No anger, no love, nothing. As long as he doesn't mess with my son I could careless. I have nothing to gain by not letting him see his son. I just want my child to be happy and when he comes from visiting his father he isn't happy.

Anyhoo, that's my story.. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] </div></div> <span style="color: #3333FF">Me, Blue or blugiant, blu? I wasn't responding to you, I was responding to blugiant.

ETA: Now, actually having read the post... Wow, we must have had children by the same man! </span> </div></div>

Never realized so much blu around here. Blueness I don't think I even read what you wrote. I was talking to Blugiant as well. Thx for checking and allowing me to clear that up.