Forgive & Forget

**Nunya** · 07-23-2007, 06:30 PM

Re: Forgive & Forget

(((Nylah)))

All responses in this thread aren't equal. Just as all forgiveness aren't.

The feel I get from some responses here is a sense of bitterness. While the bitterness may be well founded, in the end, it can prove to be more damaging to the one harbouring it, than to the one it's directed...

**Compry** · 07-23-2007, 06:41 PM

Re: Forgive & Forget

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: LadyZ</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Compry</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Not sure if this is the same as malice...but when you've been hurt too many times by the same person, it's best to just move on and not place yourself in the same situation that will get you hurt again.

You can (I can) forgive and move on. To me it's not malice, just self-perservation as you said MarieK. </div></div>malice mi seh [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70371-jump.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/proud_jamaica.gif[/img] </div></div>

Yuh too bad. A pickney tings dem dat. You don't need to open up the doors and let certain people in but no need to harbour resentments, etc. Shake it off and move on.

**Compry** · 07-23-2007, 06:41 PM

Re: Forgive & Forget

HOWEVER, I won't forgive Nunya for what she did. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70388-shameonyou.gif[/img]

**Nunya** · 07-23-2007, 06:43 PM

Re: Forgive & Forget

tch [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/whatever.gif[/img]

And *I* have a WANTED poster put up wid fi yuh face pon it!

**Compry** · 07-23-2007, 06:45 PM

Re: Forgive & Forget

See what I'm saying. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bexbad.gif[/img]

**Nylah** · 07-23-2007, 06:49 PM

Re: Forgive & Forget

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Compry</div><div class="ubbcode-body">HOWEVER, I won't forgive Nunya for what she did. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70388-shameonyou.gif[/img] </div></div>

Compry, why you so hard on Nunya? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]
(I dont want Nunya to hold malice gainst Compry and stop writing her stories!)

Nunya:
You are right - not all comments are coming for the same place and I think each of us has a different internal definition of forgiveness and bitterness. It may be hard to articulate with words the feeling wach of us has inside.

I work really hard against being bitter and holding on to feelings that dont serve me in the end. I guess that is what I mean about reconciling past events with your present life.

For most of us, being unforgiving means being tied to past events emotionally and physically with a "why me?" component. I dont dwell on why me anymore, just what I need to do to feel peace inside - and for me that isnt always tied to "forgiving" some of the big hurts. And I dont feel bitter or held back in life b/c I dont focus on those people or events that have caused a whole heap a pain.

**Nunya** · 07-23-2007, 06:50 PM

Re: Forgive & Forget

Reward [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70379-moneyeyes.gif[/img] : One Mackerel head an piece a breshay! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/hungry.gif[/img]

**Compry** · 07-23-2007, 06:59 PM

Re: Forgive & Forget

Nylah, I inspire her to write. She needs an outlet, truss mi.

On a serious note, someone once asked me how is it that I'm able to forgive so easily. It has absolutely nothing to do with those who have messed with me because Lord knows I've done my share of "revenge" when I wasn't suppose to. It has to do with the fact that I have done my share of revenge, my share of wrongs and I believe in a higher power, God Almighty. Since I believe in that higher power and since I believe that I need forgiveness for my faults and mistakes, I tend to let go of hurts very fast. Someone once said, "We forgive others because we ourselves are in need of forgiveness and one is fully conditional upon the other." If I wasn't human then I would think that I am not in need of forgiveness...since I am, I need it, therefore I will forgive, seventy times seven.

It's less stress on the heart.

**Nunya** · 07-23-2007, 07:04 PM

Re: Forgive & Forget

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

For most of us, being unforgiving means being tied to past events emotionally and physically with a "why me?" component.</div></div>

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/notworthy.gif[/img]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I dont dwell on why me anymore, just what I need to do to feel peace inside - and for me that isnt always tied to "forgiving" some of the big hurts. And I dont feel bitter or held back in life b/c I dont focus on those people or events that have caused a whole heap a pain.
</div></div>

You're coming from a place most of us have never been: dealing with the murder of a loved one. So you are uniquely qualified to speak on the co-relation of un/forgiveness and peace of mind.

I can't touch that. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/notworthy.gif[/img]

**Nylah** · 07-23-2007, 07:26 PM

Re: Forgive & Forget

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Compry</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Nylah, I inspire her to write. She needs an outlet, truss mi.
</div></div>

Mind Nunya becomes inspired to stab you with her pen and then ask for forgiveness! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

------------------
Thanks Nunya! Speaking of feeling light - I'm outta here. Gonna go canoeing tonight. Best way to forget all your troubles! Hopefully, I dont fall out of the boat and need to kill some leeches [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70374-lipsrsealed.gif[/img]

**nattydreadgirl** · 07-23-2007, 07:26 PM

Re: Forgive & Forget

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

For most of us, being unforgiving means being tied to past events emotionally and physically with a "why me?" component.</div></div>

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/notworthy.gif[/img]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I dont dwell on why me anymore, just what I need to do to feel peace inside - and for me that isnt always tied to "forgiving" some of the big hurts. And I dont feel bitter or held back in life b/c I dont focus on those people or events that have caused a whole heap a pain.
</div></div>

You're coming from a place most of us have never been: dealing with the murder of a loved one. So you are uniquely qualified to speak on the co-relation of un/forgiveness and peace of mind.

I can't touch that. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/notworthy.gif[/img]

</div></div>

This made me stop and think, is there a unforgiveable offense against us? According to the bible, NO! Would I forgive if a love one was taken from me via a violent act? I would hope that I would be able to, however, being that I have never been in that position, I would not be able to answer my own question! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img]

**Nunya** · 07-23-2007, 07:29 PM

Re: Forgive & Forget

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Mind Nunya becomes inspired to stab you with her pen and then ask for forgiveness! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]
</div></div>

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/ideathink.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-idea.gif[/img]

**Compry** · 07-23-2007, 07:35 PM

Re: Forgive & Forget

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Mind Nunya becomes inspired to stab you with her pen and then ask for forgiveness! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]
</div></div>

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/ideathink.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-idea.gif[/img] </div></div>

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img]

**Diplomat** · 07-23-2007, 11:19 PM

Re: Forgive & Forget

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs. MarieK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I know it is easy to say but do any of you practice this.</div></div>
I find forgiving to be relatively easy, and I believe we suppress instead of forget as it is almost impossible to forget things that have impacted us profoundly. What I do find though is that it is sometimes harder to determine who really needs forgiving - the perceived offender or ourselves. It is easy to feel like a victim, and it makes us feel better to "blame" someone for what we feel, but the fact is that some of our hurts (real or perceived) are simply the consequences of our own actions. Figuratively speaking, if one consistently bangs ones head against a wall, and end up with a headache, there's no point in blaming the wall. It is not very often that there is a blameless party whenever there is hurt. That's the part some people do not think about.

**Boricua_papi** · 07-24-2007, 12:54 AM

Re: Forgive & Forget

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">i don't do either, i hold grudges that eat away at my heart making me a bitter cynical person. but i'm sure you guys all know that. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70365-flirt.gif[/img] </div></div>

A woman after my own heart. I always fall in love with you at times like this. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/inlove1.gif[/img]

Forgive & Forget

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