It's time to cut ...

[ZaraJah]

Re: It's time to cut ...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Ensome</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Zarah, I'm hoping you're right. Can you tell me how soon I'll be in NIRVANA? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] </div></div>

LOL, for me it was almost immediate. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

I'm not sure if this will make things seem any easier Ensome, but without going into details, on Friday night, I went out on my last date with my fiance (of 2 years) and I swore then and have just been re-inspired by your post, that I will NOT revisit that relationship, for any reason whatsoever.

I am also the queen of being subborn so... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img]

He only realized that I was serious when I handed him his ring back (which I absolutely adored) and told him not to ever call or try and see me again. On Saturday, I changed my phone numbers and blocked his calls from coming into my office as soon as I arrived to work today.

I just got to the point where I'd had enough and at 9:30 on Friday, August 10, I decided that I had found my enough with him.

It doesn't work the same for all, but I am sure that your liberation lies in that decision, so just stay focused and you'll be surprised how quickly you will experience PEACE!

[Boopie2]

Re: It's time to cut ...

You are right about the emotional feelings, whenever my friend would get into some sort of trouble I would fret and worry so much I would actually be sick to my stomach. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/vomit.gif[/img] She used to be straight forward and truthful, but when she started to lie and then cover something else with another lie it just became too much.

[MarieK]

Re: It's time to cut ...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Boopie2</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You are right about the emotional feelings, whenever my friend would get into some sort of trouble I would fret and worry so much I would actually be sick to my stomach. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/vomit.gif[/img] She used to be straight forward and truthful, but when she started to lie and then cover something else with another lie it just became too much.

</div></div>

I REFUSE to allow people to hurt me. I remove myself from those situations.

[Stormmey]

Re: It's time to cut ...

No friend can ever hurt me or some family members. I cut off friends at the drop of a hat I cannot be used. It was hard for me to make the decision to cut my Mother off, just because she is Mother but enough is enough and I feel no pain [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bannana_purple.gif[/img]

Ensome you will get there.

[Nunya]

Re: It's time to cut ...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Ensome</div><div class="ubbcode-body">[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bexbad.gif[/img] Das di prablem. Dem nayna chat to mi. Mi always lef outta di loop. Suh mi nuh ave nutten fi chat to dem bout. Mi always used to a chat to dem but dem shet up dem mout. Suh now mi a duh di same. </div></div>

Why yuh figa dem treat yuh so? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img]

[Ensomgirl]

Re: It's time to cut ...

Wow Zarah! Good for you. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70458-applaud.gif[/img]

Thanks to everyone for sharing. I am a lot less upset today. I am sticking to my guns. I know it will be hard but hey...

[BlessedLadyOfZion]

Re: It's time to cut ...

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/icon_hug.gif[/img]

so mi can cum get weh dem did fi get?? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bannana_purple.gif[/img]

[Pepper]

Re: It's time to cut ...

I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been said.

One question though. I know J is very close with his cousin. Do you have plans on how to deal with that?

Also, if yuh have anything a gi out, me a stand in line backa LadyZ. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/desdentado.gif[/img]

[Ensomgirl]

Re: It's time to cut ...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Ensome</div><div class="ubbcode-body">[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bexbad.gif[/img] Das di prablem. Dem nayna chat to mi. Mi always lef outta di loop. Suh mi nuh ave nutten fi chat to dem bout. Mi always used to a chat to dem but dem shet up dem mout. Suh now mi a duh di same. </div></div>

Why yuh figa dem treat yuh so? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] </div></div>

Sarry, mi nay si dis. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70361-embarassed.gif[/img]

Some seh a jealousy. Aldoe mi nuh ave nutten fi nobaddi jealous ova. Mi poor. Mi fat. Mi a get ole an lose mi hair. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bexbad.gif[/img]

Smaddy seh a becaw mi olda dan dem, dem si mi as di matriarch/madda figga. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Ensomgirl]

Re: It's time to cut ...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Pepper</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been said.

One question though. I know J is very close with his cousin. Do you have plans on how to deal with that?

Also, if yuh have anything a gi out, me a stand in line backa LadyZ. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/desdentado.gif[/img] </div></div>

Mi nuh ave a ting fi gi out. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/nahnahnay.gif[/img]
You made a good point Pep regarding J. Not sure how I'll handle that. Any suggestions? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/helpsmilie.gif[/img]

[kia027]

Re: It's time to cut ...

Yes
Been there and done that.. It was too emotionally draining for me to force a relationship just because we were related. I even went through a phase where I did not speak with my mother for a few years... to give me time to heal, grow and develop the relationship from a different perspective -- not mother/daughter in this case.

Now for the question when someone else communicates with the ones you have removed yourself from? It takes a lot of diplomacy and what works in my favour is the physical distance.

At this time my core family is the family in our home and a few other relatives. Our holiday gatherings are a lot smaller, but are so much more meaningful.

[7777]

Re: It's time to cut ...

u know someting E..
me can tell dat u is a nice smaddy, and dat is why me even a tek the time..

Life is shart..and if this family member a do u sinting, its time, my dear fe speak up.
U really, honestly and truly need fe tell dem what dem a do fe hurt u, even if u only convey this feeling to dem fe a few shart moments, and move on. (u can use the telephone too and leff one lilli messege). Either way, dem haffe know what a burden dem is to u and what dem do u noh like.
Reason why me seh dis. couple of things. Me deh pon dis earth long enuff, and me learn a couple of things with people, n family.
Sometimes people hurt u and dem inna denial, seh dem didnt. Other times, people hurt u cus a dem nature fe tan soh, (soh, sooh, sooh sooh) and dem noh realize, even doe u tink dem do.
Either way, u haffe fegive uself first, and tell dem, and den move on.
Cus u know something, the burden, haffe come offa your shoulders first or u nay find no peace..

As fe de one with the mother thing and nay speak to har mother and mom look puzzled. Do u realize that mom even doe she says mean tings, obvioulsy have no clue of what she did?
U noh see the look of puzzlement pon har face?
A soh some mothers say me dear, dem seh mean things. Just mek sure that when u have a child, u kebba u mouth, and noh be like u mom (cus each of us have a little something, something for our parents)
ONe thing me had to realize is that u need to tell dem how dem hurt u and move on.
I know I had to tell my mom. U know she did mad bout it, but den I didnt really cared. I just didnt like the way how I was treated and when she started, me just woulda grab me little bundles, and leff har house.
but eventully I cracked and told her.
do u know, that u to the day she got sick she started doing a 360, why? cus I verbally spoke my mind. In restrospect, I am glad I did..
So E..
Gird up u loins, and do the right ting...fe u and J and whomever else..
U really, honestly and truly haffe tell dem (stop being chicken and being a victim in this relationship) and speak u mind..
Love u..
7's