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My mother's older brother is in a bad way. He lives in New York with his wife and daughter. He has cancer. He's undergone extensive radiation treatments that was almost the death of him, but thankfully he survived although he's just a shadow of his former self.
He had a good career in Jamaica. For supm like 40 years he worked at the same place and made a good living for his wife and his children. Then his wife's brother filed for her to move to NY. After a time, she filed for him. He thought it was the 'right' thing to do - moving to NY - even though he'd be leaving the career that he loved. He was a few years from retirement.
He moved to NY and found that the household dynamics had changed. He was now living with his wife and her family. My uncle was no longer the 'breadwinner' or 'head'- something that had always been supremely important to him.
After trying to get back into his career in NY without success he took the only job he could get - a security guard. This was a big, actually a huge step-down from what he once did. He was now making minimum wage and working nights. He did not have a car (which he had in Ja) and he did not own the house he lived in (which he did in Ja).
In the meantime, his son and daughter were still in Ja. He asked his son to 'look after' his early pension packet and send it up to him. His son forged his father's signature on some stuff and blew all his father's pension.
So the one thing that had been keeping my uncle going while his standard of living slipped in NY, was no longer there. He cried.
The children came up to live in NY. My uncle discovered that he had cancer. His wife found him to be a burden (most times while undergoing treatment, he could not get up, he could not clean himself, he could not eat)... Still, though she did it grudgingly, she tended to him.
His son got a decent job in NY. While his father struggled he was pulling in a decent salary and would not contribute anything to the family. Eventually when my uncle got a bit better, he found the energy to kick my cousin out.
My cousin is very bitter about this. He's since moved out of state, gotten married and have a kid.
In the meantime, my 76yo uncle is barely living.
The reason this is an issue for me (more than the obvious anyway) is that this uncle is very dear to my mother. He was the one that brought her from 'country'. He worked while she lived with him. Out of his want he will always help her.
She wants to help him. He wants to move back to Jamaica. His wife wouldn't miss him. His daughter is grown and his son is an ahole.
Problem: He has no way of living in Jamaica unless he lives with my parents. While my mother would put up with that, my father wouldn't. With my uncle's health issues, I don't think my diabetic mother should be the one to take care of him.
So now she'd like me to give him the land that she's finally got the deed to (I'd posted about this sometime back, I think) and that she's since given to me.
She thinks we should (David and I) build a small house there just so he could live out the few remainding years of his life in peace and that he could die on his own terms.
What do you guys think? Is her request reasonable? Building even a small house in Ja right now would stretch us financially and this we've told her. Her comeback is that we'd have the house after he'd died.
My other concern is that I don't trust his son or his wife and her clan. Much as the house would be in our name, I still think they'd try to take it somehow (I mean, if they could do what they did to their own father/husband...)
[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/helpsmilie.gif[/img]
He had a good career in Jamaica. For supm like 40 years he worked at the same place and made a good living for his wife and his children. Then his wife's brother filed for her to move to NY. After a time, she filed for him. He thought it was the 'right' thing to do - moving to NY - even though he'd be leaving the career that he loved. He was a few years from retirement.
He moved to NY and found that the household dynamics had changed. He was now living with his wife and her family. My uncle was no longer the 'breadwinner' or 'head'- something that had always been supremely important to him.
After trying to get back into his career in NY without success he took the only job he could get - a security guard. This was a big, actually a huge step-down from what he once did. He was now making minimum wage and working nights. He did not have a car (which he had in Ja) and he did not own the house he lived in (which he did in Ja).
In the meantime, his son and daughter were still in Ja. He asked his son to 'look after' his early pension packet and send it up to him. His son forged his father's signature on some stuff and blew all his father's pension.
So the one thing that had been keeping my uncle going while his standard of living slipped in NY, was no longer there. He cried.
The children came up to live in NY. My uncle discovered that he had cancer. His wife found him to be a burden (most times while undergoing treatment, he could not get up, he could not clean himself, he could not eat)... Still, though she did it grudgingly, she tended to him.
His son got a decent job in NY. While his father struggled he was pulling in a decent salary and would not contribute anything to the family. Eventually when my uncle got a bit better, he found the energy to kick my cousin out.
My cousin is very bitter about this. He's since moved out of state, gotten married and have a kid.
In the meantime, my 76yo uncle is barely living.
The reason this is an issue for me (more than the obvious anyway) is that this uncle is very dear to my mother. He was the one that brought her from 'country'. He worked while she lived with him. Out of his want he will always help her.
She wants to help him. He wants to move back to Jamaica. His wife wouldn't miss him. His daughter is grown and his son is an ahole.
Problem: He has no way of living in Jamaica unless he lives with my parents. While my mother would put up with that, my father wouldn't. With my uncle's health issues, I don't think my diabetic mother should be the one to take care of him.
So now she'd like me to give him the land that she's finally got the deed to (I'd posted about this sometime back, I think) and that she's since given to me.
She thinks we should (David and I) build a small house there just so he could live out the few remainding years of his life in peace and that he could die on his own terms.
What do you guys think? Is her request reasonable? Building even a small house in Ja right now would stretch us financially and this we've told her. Her comeback is that we'd have the house after he'd died.
My other concern is that I don't trust his son or his wife and her clan. Much as the house would be in our name, I still think they'd try to take it somehow (I mean, if they could do what they did to their own father/husband...)
[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/helpsmilie.gif[/img]
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