but if he is talking about his home life then that would include his wife and that wouldnt be good for her to overheard, right? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70374-lipsrsealed.gif[/img]
so, chatting about how he is unhappy and prehaps down the road, how his wife is not satisfying him in whatever form that might take, is to buy your sympathy. When he thinks that he has it then he will make his "move" on you. He will have convinced you his wife is a worthless woman who doesnt appreciate what a good man she has and you will be the one to rescue him from his gloom.
He will declared undying love to you because u are the only one who understands him but he will never leave his wife because what would the congreation think? or the kids? or God?
You will be second place in his life forever until you find the strength to break away from this soul destroying man but will forever regret the time you wasted on this man.
How's that for online analysis? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]
answer to your question - yes u have a DearK problem and cut if off at the knees right now. </div></div>
You are so not righted. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dear K</div><div class="ubbcode-body">It may be safer to talk to someone far removed from the situation and the vicinity... if he shares being unhappy in the marriage, or doubts about himself (ergo not a goood pastor) to someone far away, it's less likely to get back to the wife, or other members of hte congregation. Did I get it wrong? Is he only visiting Texas, and doesn't live there?
I's also suggest his talking to a senior pastor. </div></div>
I never thought about that part DearK. But why the need to rush off the phone when his wife comes home? He can change the conversation....and in my fantasy world, there is absolutely nothing that he should not be able to share with his wife. If he is having marital issues, he should be speaking to her, spiritual, financials, whateverals, she should be the person he speaks to. Not me.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: YuhSiMi</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Compry</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ask him directly what the deal is.. cause that does sound a bit dishonest </div></div>
Mi nuh want give him an open fi mek him tink mi tinking too much bout it. </div></div>
I agree totally with Kia.
Why wouldn't you want him to know you have given it thought? He'd then be aware that you are on the ball and he will have difficulty trying to pull the wool over your eyes. No? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img]
Explain to him that you are unsure why he is coming to you with these issues/problems and get him to explain himself. If what he has to say doesn't sound right, nip it in the bud; suggest he try speaking with Brother So and So, Elder Wassit wassit or Missionary (dem still have missionary ah cherch?) whatevah whatevah as you feel they would be better placed to assist him. Ah sum mi seet anyway [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/cool.gif[/img]
Mek 'im gwaarn sounds to me like a distant lovah 'im ah look... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] </div></div>
YuhSiMi, if he is looking for a distant lover, he is barking up the wrong tree. He is married. I have no tolerance for that sort of nonsense. I'm not going to be naive and think that couldn't happen because he's a pastor. I see it and I hear about it. Compry don't play that game.
[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif[/img] You know from the beginning, I told a friend of mine that there was something that didn't sit right with me. He told me I was overreacting and that the guy's wife is probably jealous why he doesn't like talking to me when she's around.
I get so tired of hearing that I think too much. My mentor keeps telling me that however he has come to learn that my thinking is almost always correct. I don't think it's a matter of overthinking...I'm just extremely sensitive to stuff around me.
[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif[/img] You know from the beginning, I told a friend of mine that there was something that didn't sit right with me. He told me I was overreacting and that the guy's wife is probably jealous why he doesn't like talking to me when she's around.
I get so tired of hearing that I think too much. My mentor keeps telling me that however he has come to learn that my thinking is almost always correct. I don't think it's a matter of overthinking...I'm just extremely sensitive to stuff around me.
I'm going with my spirit on this one. </div></div>
there you go. no more needs to be said.
you know how I am on this topic. If you feel that then dont let anyone talk you out of it.
but if he is talking about his home life then that would include his wife and that wouldnt be good for her to overheard, right? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70374-lipsrsealed.gif[/img]
so, chatting about how he is unhappy and prehaps down the road, how his wife is not satisfying him in whatever form that might take, is to buy your sympathy. When he thinks that he has it then he will make his "move" on you. He will have convinced you his wife is a worthless woman who doesnt appreciate what a good man she has and you will be the one to rescue him from his gloom.
He will declared undying love to you because u are the only one who understands him but he will never leave his wife because what would the congreation think? or the kids? or God?
You will be second place in his life forever until you find the strength to break away from this soul destroying man but will forever regret the time you wasted on this man.
How's that for online analysis? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]
</div></div>
love this analysis. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif[/img]
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Compry</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: YuhSiMi</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Compry</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ask him directly what the deal is.. cause that does sound a bit dishonest </div></div>
Mi nuh want give him an open fi mek him tink mi tinking too much bout it. </div></div>
I agree totally with Kia.
Why wouldn't you want him to know you have given it thought? He'd then be aware that you are on the ball and he will have difficulty trying to pull the wool over your eyes. No? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img]
Explain to him that you are unsure why he is coming to you with these issues/problems and get him to explain himself. If what he has to say doesn't sound right, nip it in the bud; suggest he try speaking with Brother So and So, Elder Wassit wassit or Missionary (dem still have missionary ah cherch?) whatevah whatevah as you feel they would be better placed to assist him. Ah sum mi seet anyway [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/cool.gif[/img]
Mek 'im gwaarn sounds to me like a distant lovah 'im ah look... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] </div></div>
YuhSiMi, if he is looking for a distant lover, he is barking up the wrong tree. He is married. I have no tolerance for that sort of nonsense. I'm not going to be naive and think that couldn't happen because he's a pastor. I see it and I hear about it. Compry don't play that game. </div></div>
Glad to hear that. Later on you say something didn't sit right from the beginning. I have learnt always to trust my gut instinct - your gut seems to also have spoken... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif[/img]
Maybe wifey gets jealous easily and he doesn't want fi upset har...[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70384-praying.gif[/img]...or, alternatively, he may be checking to see how jealous y o u might be...Oh dear!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Shandra</div><div class="ubbcode-body">alternatively, he may be checking to see how jealous y o u might be...Oh dear!
</div></div>
Now exactly what would I be jealous about and why?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Compry</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Shandra</div><div class="ubbcode-body">alternatively, he may be checking to see how jealous y o u might be...Oh dear!
</div></div>
Now exactly what would I be jealous about and why? </div></div>
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