Celibacy, No, really, im okay

[CeaBee]

Re: Celibacy, No, really, im okay

having sex...not having sex... all a it personal...and alla it me willing to read [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

me nuh see nuttin wrong wid u poas phatty...same when tingdere post about [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70374-lipsrsealed.gif[/img] and [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70374-lipsrsealed.gif[/img] me will read same way.

[neutral]

Re: Celibacy, No, really, im okay

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Newtral</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Newtral</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Why should someone be quiet about not having sex, when so many are here talking about having it. I believe everyone who doesn't have sex has just as much right to talk about it as those who talk about their sexual escapades and positions and whatsoever. Since when being celibate, have to be a private matter? It's just how things are. </div></div>

To be quite frank I dont think being celibate is any kind of achievement,many people remain celibate because no one will have sex with them,maybe because they are too ugly,too fat,ill,or for numerous other reasons.

Since when being celibate has to be a public matter,..isnt it a private choice..?

personally I think that the ability to abstain from sex,...and to keep that abstention a private matter,shows more strength and character than shouting it out loudly saying ....."look at me,look how chaste I am,I havent been shagged for 40 years". </div></div>

Well maybe for some people being celibate is not a choice for me, it is. The reason I wrote the thread was not to say look at me im celibate and im better than anyone else. I wrote in response to how my friends/peers react when they do find out that I am. As far as not saying it and hiding it. That doesn't show strength to me at all, it makes no difference. So should I have more respect for those who are having sex and talking about it than those who refrain from it and dont. This is one of those things where double standards come into play.
Where is it that respect comes in, if your having sex and talking about it or not having sex and not talking about it.
It seems as if this little tidbit was about my risque behaviors and i'm proud of it, would have been better accepted. </div></div>

first of all let me just say that having sex is as natural as daffodils in spring,its as nature intended.

You say you wrote the thread as a result of how your friends react when you tell them,and my point is,....why the heck are you telling your friends that you are not getting shagged,..why do they need to know if its your choice,..are you looking for a pat on the back,...(in a non erogenous zone)lol.
I dont know what you term as "risque" behaviour,..unless you are talking about having wild sex sex in the middle of times square during lunch hour.

To me if your not having sex then you have absolutely 4x to talk about regarding sex,..so why talk about it...? </div></div>

You act as if being celibate is like me having a disease. Sex is human, yes. Is sex a choice too, yes it is. And its not like I walk into a room with friends and say my name is Phatty btw im celibate. People talk about sex a lot, A LOT. So when they come to me and as a question referring to recent sexual activities, yes I say it and im damn proud of it. Cuz most of the responses is, "I couldn't do it."
If you give me a bullhorn i'll say it into that too. I remove myself from di convo gwan chat [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] </div></div>

Lol...I`m not acting,..I just dont see being celibate as an achievement,obviously you do,but I wouldnt dare give you a bullhorn,who knows what you would do with something as phallic and dangerous as that...Lol.

Anyway,..I too have been celibate,...for at least 10 hours,..and I am very proud,..but nature calls...see you later....Lol.

[Bink - the Only]

Re: Celibacy, No, really, im okay

while sex may be as natural as daffodils, it is not always as right as rain.

neutral, do you not think this is a textbook example of the difference between men and women? generalizing, men find sex as important as taking a trip to the john (no pun intended). women, in general, find sex much more involved and touching many more nerves than just the genitals.

some women (of course, NOT me) struggled with that dichotomy for a long time. now, i am perfectly happy being "celibate as such" as i only spend time with my significant other 2-3 times per year. sure, it is hard at time, but going on eight years now, it seems to be working for both of us.

anyway, Phatty, to me making a decision to be celibate cannot be easy, but from my perch, i totally understand it.

more power to you.

[Nylah]

Re: Celibacy, No, really, im okay

Newtral, I dont think Phatty's intent was to say celibacy per se is some monumental achievement but rather its about the internal healing she is getting from putting her goals, dreams, etc. first. Instead of just scratching an itch with someone that doesnt really mean a thing to her emotionally, she is refraining and waiting for when it feels right with the right person.

So, Phatty can come tell me I chatt out my butt [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img] but that is what I got from your post - not to be confused with whatever you meant to truly say

[neutral]

Re: Celibacy, No, really, im okay

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Empress_Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

i dont quite understand what u mean Newtral when you say

<span style="color: #000099">...is revealing that you`re celibate a valid reaction to whats being put up on a bulletin regarding sex</span>

if the context is correct, why would it not be a valid response?
maybe i an mis-understanding the point you are making [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] </div></div>

That was in my response to this statement...

"cause lord knows, my eyebrows shoot up over the ridiculously personal sexual stuff I see put out on the BB too "

[Nylah]

Re: Celibacy, No, really, im okay

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Newtral</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Empress_Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

i dont quite understand what u mean Newtral when you say

<span style="color: #000099">...is revealing that you`re celibate a valid reaction to whats being put up on a bulletin regarding sex</span>

if the context is correct, why would it not be a valid response?
maybe i an mis-understanding the point you are making [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] </div></div>

That was in my response to this statement...

"cause lord knows, my eyebrows shoot up over the ridiculously personal sexual stuff I see put out on the BB too " </div></div>


okay i see.

but celibacy is just the other side of the coin, no?

[neutral]

Re: Celibacy, No, really, im okay

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: bink</div><div class="ubbcode-body">while sex may be as natural as daffodils, it is not always as right as rain.

neutral, do you not think this is a textbook example of the difference between men and women? generalizing, men find sex as important as taking a trip to the john (no pun intended). women, in general, find sex much more involved and touching many more nerves than just the genitals.

some women (of course, NOT me) struggled with that dichotomy for a long time. now, i am perfectly happy being "celibate as such" as i only spend time with my significant other 2-3 times per year. sure, it is hard at time, but going on eight years now, it seems to be working for both of us.

anyway, Phatty, to me making a decision to be celibate cannot be easy, but from my perch, i totally understand it.

more power to you. </div></div>

Yes,its a textbook example of how men and women view sex,maybe its also a classic example of how men and women view celibacy,as it would seem that celibacy is purely a woman`s preserve,men dont do celibacy.
However,when women enter into celibacy for whatever reason they seem to want some kind of validation,and rarely do the celibacy thing without requiring a pat on the back.

[neutral]

Re: Celibacy, No, really, im okay

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Empress_Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Newtral</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Empress_Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

i dont quite understand what u mean Newtral when you say

<span style="color: #000099">...is revealing that you`re celibate a valid reaction to whats being put up on a bulletin regarding sex</span>

if the context is correct, why would it not be a valid response?
maybe i an mis-understanding the point you are making [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] </div></div>

That was in my response to this statement...

"cause lord knows, my eyebrows shoot up over the ridiculously personal sexual stuff I see put out on the BB too " </div></div>


okay i see.

but celibacy is just the other side of the coin, no? </div></div>

No,I dont see it as such,its a personal choice not to have sex,but each individual will have their own unique reason for not having sex,...and simply because a woman is not having sex is not reason enough to call it celibacy,..there are also women who dont have sex and not because of choice,it may be simply because men dont want to have sex with them.
maybe its time women get the idea around their heads that not every woman who dont have sex do it out of choice,.....men are not as gullible as women would like to think,they too have their preference.

[Bink - the Only]

Re: Celibacy, No, really, im okay

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Newtral</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: bink</div><div class="ubbcode-body">while sex may be as natural as daffodils, it is not always as right as rain.

neutral, do you not think this is a textbook example of the difference between men and women? generalizing, men find sex as important as taking a trip to the john (no pun intended). women, in general, find sex much more involved and touching many more nerves than just the genitals.

some women (of course, NOT me) struggled with that dichotomy for a long time. now, i am perfectly happy being "celibate as such" as i only spend time with my significant other 2-3 times per year. sure, it is hard at time, but going on eight years now, it seems to be working for both of us.

anyway, Phatty, to me making a decision to be celibate cannot be easy, but from my perch, i totally understand it.

more power to you. </div></div>

Yes,its a textbook example of how men and women view sex,maybe its also a classic example of how men and women view celibacy,as it would seem that celibacy is purely a woman`s preserve,men dont do celibacy.
However,when women enter into celibacy for whatever reason they seem to want some kind of validation,and rarely do the celibacy thing without requiring a pat on the back. </div></div>

no you think, perhaps .. just perhaps, that has something to do with the good old "double standard"?

[neutral]

Re: Celibacy, No, really, im okay

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: bink</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Newtral</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: bink</div><div class="ubbcode-body">while sex may be as natural as daffodils, it is not always as right as rain.

neutral, do you not think this is a textbook example of the difference between men and women? generalizing, men find sex as important as taking a trip to the john (no pun intended). women, in general, find sex much more involved and touching many more nerves than just the genitals.

some women (of course, NOT me) struggled with that dichotomy for a long time. now, i am perfectly happy being "celibate as such" as i only spend time with my significant other 2-3 times per year. sure, it is hard at time, but going on eight years now, it seems to be working for both of us.

anyway, Phatty, to me making a decision to be celibate cannot be easy, but from my perch, i totally understand it.

more power to you. </div></div>

Yes,its a textbook example of how men and women view sex,maybe its also a classic example of how men and women view celibacy,as it would seem that celibacy is purely a woman`s preserve,men dont do celibacy.
However,when women enter into celibacy for whatever reason they seem to want some kind of validation,and rarely do the celibacy thing without requiring a pat on the back. </div></div>

no you think, perhaps .. just perhaps, that has something to do with the good old "double standard"? </div></div>

I personally tend to think that the double standard exist not only with men,but also with women,...its a societal thing,there is simply no concerted effort on the part of the male population to promote any double standard,..women are as much to blame as men.

Women are far worse than men when it comes to judgeing other women.

[niceniss]

Re: Celibacy, No, really, im okay

being fat or ugly is not reason enough to declare celibacy is not a choice. there are tonnes on men who still think fat women are attractive and some could care less about her face when they're getting their tips wet.
There are enough ugly/fatty/anorexic/whatever people out there having sex to disprove that.

[Bink - the Only]

Re: Celibacy, No, really, im okay

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Newtral</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: bink</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Newtral</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: bink</div><div class="ubbcode-body">while sex may be as natural as daffodils, it is not always as right as rain.

neutral, do you not think this is a textbook example of the difference between men and women? generalizing, men find sex as important as taking a trip to the john (no pun intended). women, in general, find sex much more involved and touching many more nerves than just the genitals.

some women (of course, NOT me) struggled with that dichotomy for a long time. now, i am perfectly happy being "celibate as such" as i only spend time with my significant other 2-3 times per year. sure, it is hard at time, but going on eight years now, it seems to be working for both of us.

anyway, Phatty, to me making a decision to be celibate cannot be easy, but from my perch, i totally understand it.

more power to you. </div></div>

Yes,its a textbook example of how men and women view sex,maybe its also a classic example of how men and women view celibacy,as it would seem that celibacy is purely a woman`s preserve,men dont do celibacy.
However,when women enter into celibacy for whatever reason they seem to want some kind of validation,and rarely do the celibacy thing without requiring a pat on the back. </div></div>

no you think, perhaps .. just perhaps, that has something to do with the good old "double standard"? </div></div>

I personally tend to think that the double standard exist not only with men,but also with women,...its a societal thing,there is simply no concerted effort on the part of the male population to promote any double standard,..women are as much to blame as men.

Women are far worse than men when it comes to judgeing other women. </div></div>

I agree with your last statement, but certainly not your first.

would you be okay with your wife enjoying outside activity? men from day one have always thought it is fine for them to screw around. but, at least most of them, would never, ever accept THEIR woman doing the same. and, that, my friend, is the double standard to which i speak.

[Nylah]

Re: Celibacy, No, really, im okay

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Newtral</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Empress_Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Newtral</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Empress_Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

i dont quite understand what u mean Newtral when you say

<span style="color: #000099">...is revealing that you`re celibate a valid reaction to whats being put up on a bulletin regarding sex</span>

if the context is correct, why would it not be a valid response?
maybe i an mis-understanding the point you are making [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] </div></div>

That was in my response to this statement...

"cause lord knows, my eyebrows shoot up over the ridiculously personal sexual stuff I see put out on the BB too " </div></div>


okay i see.

but celibacy is just the other side of the coin, no? </div></div>

No,I dont see it as such,its a personal choice not to have sex,but each individual will have their own unique reason for not having sex,...and simply because a woman is not having sex is not reason enough to call it celibacy,..there are also women who dont have sex and not because of choice,it may be simply because men dont want to have sex with them.
maybe its time women get the idea around their heads that not every woman who dont have sex do it out of choice,.....men are not as gullible as women would like to think,they too have their preference.
</div></div>

i dont see where u get all of this from the thread to be honest. of course women know that other women dont have sex because of no interest from men.

when i said that celibacy is the other side of the coin i meant that the antithesis to having sex is to not be having sex - reasons are irrelevant. Bottom line is you are not engaging in sex. So, I guess I see celibacy somewhat differently than you do.

definition notwithstanding, I wouldnt pat every woman on the back that is celibate because not every woman wants that pat on the back for it.

But my take is that when a woman "announces" here celibacy, it is more about what she feels she needs to realign within herself emotionally than it is about not wanting sex.

well, that's just how i see it.

[neutral]

Re: Celibacy, No, really, im okay

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Donnika</div><div class="ubbcode-body">being fat or ugly is not reason enough to declare celibacy is not a choice. there are tonnes on men who still think fat women are attractive and some could care less about her face when they're getting their tips wet.
There are enough ugly/fatty/anorexic/whatever people out there having sex to disprove that. </div></div>

I do agree,being fat,or ugly is no barrier to love,there is someone for everyone,however,my point is this,......there are also a lot of women out there who are celibate not by choice,..so being celibate is not something to celebrate,and I personally dont see it as an achievement.

Lets face it,...I can understand a woman not having sex for some time because she hasnt met anyone she finds attractive,or want to have sex with,..but can you imagine a normal highly sexed woman suddenly making a choice to suddenly stop having sex,unless there was some very important extenuating circumstances.
and on top of that,can you imagine any circumstances in which a woman would decide not to have sex,and then wear that abstention as a badge of honour....maybe as I man I dont understand,and that maybe the stumbling block,,its a man and woman thing that men will never understand.

[niceniss]

Re: Celibacy, No, really, im okay

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Newtral</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Donnika</div><div class="ubbcode-body">being fat or ugly is not reason enough to declare celibacy is not a choice. there are tonnes on men who still think fat women are attractive and some could care less about her face when they're getting their tips wet.
There are enough ugly/fatty/anorexic/whatever people out there having sex to disprove that. </div></div>

I do agree,being fat,or ugly is no barrier to love,there is someone for everyone,however,my point is this,......there are also a lot of women out there who are celibate not by choice,..so being celibate is not something to celebrate,and I personally dont see it as an achievement.

Lets face it,...I can understand a woman not having sex for some time because she hasnt met anyone she finds attractive,or want to have sex with,..but can you imagine a normal highly sexed woman suddenly making a choice to suddenly stop having sex,unless there was some very important extenuating circumstances.
and on top of that,can you imagine any circumstances in which a woman would decide not to have sex,and then wear that abstention as a badge of honour....maybe as I man I dont understand,and that maybe the stumbling block,,its a man and woman thing that men will never understand. </div></div>
I don't have to imagine it...
There are women instead of calling it celibacy, call it a stress-free drama-free period of their lives. For some women they hit the realization that men seem to think easy up sex is the default and they have to give nothing in return but just take and take and possibly leave u with something unsavoury like(excuse me parents)an unwanted child or disease.
One of my personal experiences was the shock when a 63 year old former coworker invited me and some others over then asked me to stay and sleep with him. When I asked if he lost his mind he got offended and declared I was descriminating against him because of his age! It's like sex means nothing and I should allow some old fart, a married guy, whomever to use my body for his pleasure because he likes the shape of my bum.
There comes a time when a woman say enough of this damn nonsence.