A Black Man Who Cheats: Why I Do It

[MrsBlue]

Re: A Black Man Who Cheats: Why I Do It

<span style="color: #3333FF">I agree, MMK. I think he speaks from immaturity and selfishness. I think he's correct in saying that he never should have gotten married because it's not what he wanted.

He says that he is speaking only for himself but then he seems to be speaking about all men. </span>

[sistacaf]

Re: A Black Man Who Cheats: Why I Do It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">There's so much to another human being other than a three-minute heatofthe moment likkle piece ah sex...:kissteet: </div></div>

i feel the same, but his point is - sometimes that is what he wants, and explained why he feels so. some ppl in the world gain something from a little pieca three-minute sex. who is the rest of we to tell them that's 'wrong' just cause human beings made up the institution of marriage? but it's not for everyone. ppl who pass judgement that he is immature/selfish are coming from the persepctive that 'their way' (i.e.: the married way) is the only right way, and anyone who feels different is somehow 'wrong' for feeling so.

Whether or not his arguments are 'acceptable' to others is not his concern. the guy shared his honest feelings and I for one give him credit for doing so, whether or not the 'mainstream' agrees with his views.

i also think marriage is a construct, and that it's not necessarily the way all human beings are biologically wired - most people in the world have just bought into it as the 'only right way to be'. this man doesnt agree. and neither do I - i don't think that a person can necessarily get everything they need from only one person; sometimes sexual attraction is separate and distinct from creating a stable home life, raising kids, saving money, etc. That life doesn't necessarily fulfill 100% of someone's human feelings and desires.

whether or not it's 'acceptable' to others that he feels that way, don't enter into it.

[Night Nurse]

Re: A Black Man Who Cheats: Why I Do It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sistacaf</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> - i don't think that a person can necessarily get everything they need from only one person; sometimes sexual attraction is separate and distinct from creating a stable home life, raising kids, saving money, etc. That life doesn't necessarily fulfill 100% of someone's human feelings and desires.

</div></div>

Di man uppatap dey a eediat still, but him naah sey nutt'n new. Him jussa chry twiss up himself sayka how him get caught up inna di system.

Mi personally believe inna seasonal relationships. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/whistle.gif[/img] Who fi sey two smaddy shood live chroo di four season dem widdout chanjj? Mi nuh tink dat possible at all.

Peeple whe fowrce dat awwn to di smaddy whe dem happ'n to like, naah do nutt'n but exercise dem selfishniss.

Dose sayme peeple wear different cloze, bag an shooze fi di different season dem an hexpeck fi have di sayme man chroout. Ennyting can guh suh? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Life too dyaam shawt fi a submit to dem dey age ole fillossiffy dey bout one man/ooman an all dat fawt. A only sayka summuch AIDS an ting out dey mekk mi nuh dey pan di campaign trail widd sellin my fillossify on relayshanship ennuh. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70388-shameonyou.gif[/img]

As soon as mi fine a proteckkshan whe wi prevent STD an such delike, mi plan fi mawkit it. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img]

Wat mi kno fi a fact is dat moyse man an ooman reeely want di freedom tuh live dem life freely an respond tuh what nature intendid. Chanjj man/ooman when dem reddy widdout di blinking burocratickk an societal fawt. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bannana_purple.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bannana_purple.gif[/img]

[Derob]

Re: A Black Man Who Cheats: Why I Do It

People are always gonna want things they shouldn't have. When it comes to sex us men have an unlimited supply of wanting. But when people get everything they want they become corrupt. And marriage is about families. When married folks cheat there is more at stake than just their desires. Marriage isn't easy, but if you violate your families trust for the sake of your own greedy desires, than you have no honor. A man or woman without honor is no good to anyone.

[twiney]

Re: A Black Man Who Cheats: Why I Do It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Derob</div><div class="ubbcode-body">People are always gonna want things they shouldn't have. When it comes to sex us men have an unlimited supply of wanting. But when people get everything they want they become corrupt. And marriage is about families. When married folks cheat there is more at stake than just their desires. Marriage isn't easy, but if you violate your families trust for the sake of your own greedy desires, than you have no honor. A man or woman without honor is no good to anyone. </div></div>

Lawks this sounds like good reasoning ...

[Night Nurse]

Re: A Black Man Who Cheats: Why I Do It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Derob</div><div class="ubbcode-body">People are always gonna want things they shouldn't have. When it comes to sex us men have an unlimited supply of wanting. But when people get everything they want they become corrupt. And marriage is about families. When married folks cheat there is more at stake than just their desires. Marriage isn't easy, but if you violate your families trust for the sake of your own greedy desires, than you have no honor. A man or woman without honor is no good to anyone. </div></div>

Honor? Honor? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img]

Come on now. Brukk dat dung fi mi. Wha yuh mean by honor? Suh a wen peeple get marrid dem get dat?

If di whole institushan of marrijj was a natural ting dere woodn't be suh much dayaam confyooshan an hawt break an dysfunctional pickney.

Di marrijj, vow an alla dat fawt nuh mean nutt'n more dan if di two smaddy did decide fi dweet widdout di paypah trail. A chrroo di gov't waah control taxes mekk dem come up wid dat added pressure pan peeple bout marrijj, an sayka peeple suh fikkle an in search of demself, dem jump to it like it is di holy grail.

Den dem sayme wan run round like sowa puss wen di dally house crash dung an mash up. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] Mi nuh kno a wen peeple aguh come tuh dem senses bout dis ting.

Di relayshanship dem whe wurk chroo marrijj wooda still work widdout it for annuh di ring an paypah mekk it wurk.

[Derob]

Re: A Black Man Who Cheats: Why I Do It

Marriage isn't a piece of paper, it's a promise two people make before God and their families. Honor doesn't come from marriage, it's about keeping your word, keeping your family together and setting an example for your children. Children need both of their parents, that's why marriage has been around long before paper.

[Night Nurse]

Re: A Black Man Who Cheats: Why I Do It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Derob</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Marriage isn't a piece of paper, it's a promise two people make before God and their families. Honor doesn't come from marriage, it's about keeping your word, keeping your family together and setting an example for your children. Children need both of their parents, that's why marriage has been around long before paper. </div></div>

Marrijj to more dan wan wife dey roun lang befo paypah, but di paypah mekk it wan wife inna di western world, at least.

Mi personally nuh believe dat Gad biznizz widd moyse peeple an dem vow for moyse a dem nuh biznizz widd Gad wen dem a plan anda gwaanie-gwannie.

DENNAGENN, wha bout Athiests who get marrid. How yuh hexplain dat? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img]

Keeping family together? Dat shood tekk responsibility and a committment to the ADULT'S role in life. Not marrijj. Why wood two grown peeple haffi do alla dat fi tekk care a dem responsibility?

Nuff man an ooman shun dem responsibility to tekk care a dem family sayka di pressure dem put pan dem wannanedda. Mi kno sey it soun lame, but a di chroot mi a talk. Nuff pickney guh a dem bed hungry an mizzarebble, becau man an ooman nuh get along, yet demma fowce demself fi kipp family togedda. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img]

Furdamore, if kipping family tuhgedda become such hawd wurk, it nuh natural, hence more peeple fi stawt come tuh dem senses an realize sey marrijj annuh fi err'bady an dat wukking suh hawd fi stay tugedda mite be di very ting dat is kipping dem apawt. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/whistle.gif[/img]

[missus_vegas]

Re: A Black Man Who Cheats: Why I Do It

forwarding to my boyfriend...(which will must p him off and may start another fight) lol

[Nylah]

Re: A Black Man Who Cheats: Why I Do It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Derob</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Marriage isn't a piece of paper, it's a promise two people make before God and their families. Honor doesn't come from marriage, it's about keeping your word, keeping your family together and setting an example for your children. Children need both of their parents, that's why marriage has been around long before paper. </div></div>


and therein lies the rub.......that's fine that this man doesnt want to believe monogomy is possible, but what i cant stand is that he decided to get married anyways and gave his word that he would be faithful.

dont say "i do" if u have no plans to keep your vows. it is selfish to be dishonest and sheg up someone's life over it.

it is not like he is complaining that he told his woman, i will marry u but dont expect me to be faithful 24/7 and she still agreed to get married - nuff ppl do this BTW - and now she is going back on HER word........ but rather he lied to her and is now trying to justify it. he should have never put a ring on her finger. I can at least appreciate that.


no matter whether you believe marriage is a good social construct or not, lying to another person is never right.

[Night Nurse]

Re: A Black Man Who Cheats: Why I Do It

Exactly Nylah. An wat mekk it bun mi is dat, nuff man endorse di concepp dat man wired fi fool roun, yet dem want marrijj fi wurk.


No wanda summuch a wi man run gawwn pandi edder side. Mi nuh have nuh fren whe wi puttup widd dat raw. Den agenn, mi nuh believe inna di wan man ting nigh dah suh mi mussi wired like man. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/whistle.gif[/img]

[applepie]

Re: A Black Man Who Cheats: Why I Do It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BlakICE_Queen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

Wat mi kno fi a fact is dat moyse man an ooman reeely want di freedom tuh live dem life freely an respond tuh what nature intendid. Chanjj man/ooman when dem reddy widdout di blinking burocratickk an societal fawt. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bannana_purple.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bannana_purple.gif[/img] </div></div>

Crazy ........but true.

[Night Nurse]

Re: A Black Man Who Cheats: Why I Do It

DWL, yuh seet doe.

Applepie, mi did waah hawks yuh fram wha day, a whe yuh cock goin. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img]

Him waakin like him hen juss laid. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

[applepie]

Re: A Black Man Who Cheats: Why I Do It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BlakICE_Queen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">DWL, yuh seet doe.

Applepie, mi did waah hawks yuh fram wha day, a whe yuh cock goin. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img]

Him waakin like him hen juss laid. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

</div></div> or going to get laid [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[cjb1879]

Re: A Black Man Who Cheats: Why I Do It

This man's argument is ridiculous and I can't believe that some of us are rationalizing it. It is the most passive-aggressive thing I've ever read. He can spend time coming up with a BS rationalization instead of admitting outright to his wife that he had no business getting married in the first place. How can you "support the Black family" and continuously lie to your partner in that family on a regular basis? Families are not built on lies and underhanded dealings.

That biological argument is totally irrelevant. We all know the "continuation of the species" differences between men and women- we are all driven to continue the species and males do it by quantity and women by quality. However, we also have the need to go and relieve ourselves (forgive me for being crass)- however early on, we are taught that there is a time and place to do it and that place is not in our pants. This man has essentially said that he cannot control himself. The ability to reason and to think about more than our so-called biological urges is what separates us from animals. A "need" for sex does not make it okay to cheat. Someone gave this man this biological argument and he used it rationalize something he would have done no matter what.

Also, the fact that there are supposedly "at least four other women" willing to have sex with him whenever he wants is not a reason to keep doing it- it is a sign that he is running with low company.