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can a mother raised boy into a man widout de father
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Re: can mothers raised boys
Women have been raising sons for many, many centuries due to fathers who go to far away lands to work, hunt, fight wars, travel for whatever reason and simple abandonment.
Fathers and few mothers are notorious for shaming young boys and men into repressing and denying their more sensitive inner emotions and regularly command them to be a man, be strong, be brave, don't be a sissy, don't show your feelings. Most mothers on the other hand play a significant role in teaching their sons how to be a man without supressing their natural instincts to feel, cry, love and show compassion.
So, yes, I believe mothers can and have successfully raised boys to become functional men. However, societies stereotypical views of what it means to be male or female, tend to make a mockery of the mothers' creation before boys are able to develop worldly confidence.
Geoffrey Canada, president and CEO of the Harlem Children's Zone argues that it is hard for women to parent boys because rearing a Black boy is a formidable task even for two-parent households, however it can be done. Like no other citizens, Black males are forced to wage a daily battle against a racist society that presumes them guilty--of criminal intent, of ignorance, of just plain worthlessness.
Consequently, expectations may be put on say a 7-year-old to "act like a man," which teaches him to suppress his emotions. Or the key to discipline is assumed to be ultraharsh parenting--verbal assaults and physical threats--against which most adolescent males naturally rebel. Or the tendency to overindulge them with material things, dampens self-motivation and creates men who expect a woman to take care of them. Often by holding on too tight then letting them go too far, sends mixed messages. The inconsistency undermines parental authority for both mothers and fathers, and leaves the child looking for direction elsewhere.
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Re: can mothers raised boys
blu like ReignMan say an quoted...it has been done for years.....i raised my son my self an most of my friends did the same...so my comparson is based on dat
looks to me like the single parent men are more
in touch with themself
there seem to treat women better
less likely to comit a crime
just a few things....the ones with 2 parents seem
almost wishiwashie to mi
most of them dont even settle down till late in life
one thing doh,dem love family life,will marry instead of live wid
dont get me rang the ideal is 2 parents,but if it dont work out....it can be dunComment
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Re: can mothers raised boys
and plus more single moms nowadays are choosing to have kids without the father...
and doing so, with more financial backings inna de back packet....
and at an age when dem more financially stable..and even older..
Yes, me do think some of these mothers can do a good job in raising kids by demselves..
*come to tink bout it, most wooman dat married, still a raise dem by themselves, cuz a dem always de bout fe de pickney dem..*
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Re: can mothers raised boys
(((((G2)))))Originally posted by grandma2:
[qb]......looks to me like the single parent men are more
in touch with themself
there seem to treat women better
......[/qb]
A dat mi seh to!
And wid or widout a man, mi plan fi instill all dat inna mi son ....Comment
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Re: can mothers raised boys
Yes as long as there are father figures around to teach them the things needed by being a man.Originally posted by blugiant:
[qb] can a mother raised boy into a man widout de father [/qb]
how to fix things
how to catch lizards and remove creepy crawly things from the house
how to stand firm when pressured by male peers
and more useful mundane things like how to pee in the snow [img]/forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]If you don't fight for what you deserve, you deserve what you get.
We are > Fossil Fuels --- Bill McKibben 350.orgComment
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Re: can mothers raised boys
of course they *can*
but is it the ideal situation?Comment
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Re: can mothers raised boys
hello coles. oww likkle marley doinnOriginally posted by ColeS:
[qb] A dat mi seh to!
And wid or widout a man, mi plan fi instill all dat inna mi son .... [/qb]Comment
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Re: can mothers raised boys
whaagawn g2. mi diagree wid yu.Originally posted by grandma2:
[qb] blu like ReignMan say an quoted...it has been done for years.....i raised my son my self an most of my friends did the same...so my comparson is based on dat
looks to me like the single parent men are more
in touch with themself
there seem to treat women better
less likely to comit a crime
just a few things....the ones with 2 parents seem
almost wishiwashie to mi
most of them dont even settle down till late in life
one thing doh,dem love family life,will marry instead of live wid
dont get me rang the ideal is 2 parents,but if it dont work out....it can be dun [/qb]
boys raised by single mother ar more likelee fi commit crime.
wat yu meen bye more in touch wid demselfComment
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Re: can mothers raised boys
yu undatand wat mi realee askinnn but mi disagree wid yu conclusion.Originally posted by ReignMan:
[qb] Women have been raising sons for many, many centuries due to fathers who go to far away lands to work, hunt, fight wars, travel for whatever reason and simple abandonment.
Fathers and few mothers are notorious for shaming young boys and men into repressing and denying their more sensitive inner emotions and regularly command them to be a man, be strong, be brave, don't be a sissy, don't show your feelings. Most mothers on the other hand play a significant role in teaching their sons how to be a man without supressing their natural instincts to feel, cry, love and show compassion.
So, yes, I believe mothers can and have successfully raised boys to become functional men. However, societies stereotypical views of what it means to be male or female, tend to make a mockery of the mothers' creation before boys are able to develop worldly confidence.
[/qb]Geoffrey Canada, president and CEO of the Harlem Children's Zone argues that it is hard for women to parent boys because rearing a Black boy is a formidable task even for two-parent households, however it can be done. Like no other citizens, Black males are forced to wage a daily battle against a racist society that presumes them guilty--of criminal intent, of ignorance, of just plain worthlessness.
Consequently, expectations may be put on say a 7-year-old to "act like a man," which teaches him to suppress his emotions. Or the key to discipline is assumed to be ultraharsh parenting--verbal assaults and physical threats--against which most adolescent males naturally rebel. Or the tendency to overindulge them with material things, dampens self-motivation and creates men who expect a woman to take care of them. Often by holding on too tight then letting them go too far, sends mixed messages. The inconsistency undermines parental authority for both mothers and fathers, and leaves the child looking for direction elsewhere.
yu see mi ave diss relative dat iss raisinn ar boy too saft. imm soo sensitive, waant everting iss way ar imm start cryinn. mi affi de pon inn bacc dat a mann caan bee soo soft ann cry bout everee likkle ting. yu see imm caan git wey wid being saft rund iss madder butt imm affi bee a likkle mann rund mi. dat nat suppressinn but teechinn imm about ow a strong black man fi behave
yu kno displine cum fram a greek wurd dat meen teachin ann traininnnComment
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Re: can mothers raised boys
Yes, fi dem half plus ten percent more since maddaring is more nurturing than faddaring.
That makes it possible for women to be effectively involved in the male child's life to about sixty percent.
IF the father is not available to contribute his forty percent, then the mother will definitely need to seek help from uncle, brother, cousin or pastor fi validate the maleness of the child.
Ooman cannot fully teach boy pickni how to be a man.Comment
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Re: can mothers raised boys
yu raise a good point ere single mothers wid enuff fiance usualee raised children dat match educational achievement aff children raised inn two familee household. butt de qwestian dough iss iff dem caan raise a boy into a mann. mi talkinn bout a strang mann woo kno oww fi bee a strang blakk mann. mi natt chattinn bout weak blakk mann woo doan kno ow fi respond wenn a wooman gawn rudeOriginally posted by 777:
[qb] and plus more single moms nowadays are choosing to have kids without the father...
and doing so, with more financial backings inna de back packet.... and at an age when dem more financially stable..and even older..
Yes, me do think some of these mothers can do a good job in raising kids by demselves..
*come to tink bout it, most wooman dat married, still a raise dem by themselves, cuz a dem always de bout fe de pickney dem..*
[/qb]
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Re: can mothers raised boys
de uncle ann addar male relatives will help but sumtime dere iss ann harshness about fathers dat mek de boy kno imm haffi fii stepp properlee to bee a mannOriginally posted by Shandra:
[qb]
Ooman cannot fully teach boy pickni how to be a man. [/qb]Comment
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Re: can mothers raised boys
diss iss intarestinn cause oono seem fii bee seyinn dat oono will raise de boys to treat women oww oono tink woomen deserved to bee treated. soo wat oono seyinn iss dat oono doan like oww sum mann treat oono soo oono gawn teach oono son oww a real mann shood treat wooman. diss mekk mi laff cah mi neva kno dat dem teach wooman oww fii bee real mann [img]/forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] . de addar implication ere iss dat oono teachinn dem oww fi treat ladies to be good husband. so y iss dat boys been raised by single mothers ar more likelee fii divorce. dat contradiction iss troubling.Originally posted by ColeS:
[qb](((((G2)))))Originally posted by grandma2:
[qb]......looks to me like the single parent men are more
in touch with themself
there seem to treat women better
......[/qb]
A dat mi seh to!
And wid or widout a man, mi plan fi instill all dat inna mi son .... [/qb]Comment
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Re: can mothers raised boys
I raised my son alone, with no help from his father, either financially or emotionally. My parents were his other role models when he was younger. He only got to know his father when he was in his teens and chose on his own to have no further contact with him after that.
Some children are better off without thier fathers, my son is one of them.
He is now successful with a wonderful job, a beautiful home, an absolutly adorable wife and two beautiful children. What more could I have asked for!Comment
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