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Re: looking down your nose at a blue collar man/woman
...speaking of "character"....I read this a few years back...
... based on the work of Clarissa Pinkola Estes, author of "Women Who Run With Wolves": ..........Choose someone as though you are blind. Close your eyes and see whether there is kindness, loyalty, devotion, an ability to be concerned about you and an ability to care for him/herself as an independent being. Choose a person who has an ability to learn - to learn new ways, to be curious about the world and people. Choose someone who when hurt by you feels pain and is willing to show it, a person who can also see when you have been hurt and can make amends. Someone who is willing to be like a woman - tough and fragile, who is sensitive or can learn to develop sensitivity.
A person who has an inner life, a person who follows his or her own journey, be it writing, meditation, woodwork, or musical appreciation. Choose a person with whom you can merge, and yet from whom you can simultaneously remain separate. Making memories together forms part of the core of relationships, so choose someone who has similar passions in life to your own so that relationship memories can be built up. Simple things like walking together will do it. Choose someone who has similar values to you about children, money, families, male and female roles. Accept that these take time to work out.
Choose a partner who is compassionate, willing and able to listen and who gives equal time to you as to himself. Someone who can laugh at himself, who can stop an argument mid-sentence and apologise makes a good partner. When choosing a partner know what you can and cannot live with, what faults and characteristics are acceptable and not acceptable. Intolerable things in all relationships include addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling, criminal activities, lying, and someone who cannot face you after making a mistake.
Your partner should be your friend and lover. Choose someone who has had an HIV test and an STD (sexually transmitted disease) screening and is prepared to use condoms. Make sure that when you choose, you choose someone who makes your life bigger rather than smaller.
Relationships are for grown ups only, not for wounded children. Grown up relationships require flexibility in order to deal with the changes demanded of modern relationships. The ability of partners to negotiate creatively is more critical now than ever. Closing your eyes to the work that grown up love and relationships require predicts discontent, disappointment and divorce. But keeping your eyes gazing at yourself and each other promises pleasure, passion and possibilities.
...speaking of "character"....I read this a few years back...
... based on the work of Clarissa Pinkola Estes, author of "Women Who Run With Wolves": ..........Choose someone as though you are blind. Close your eyes and see whether there is kindness, loyalty, devotion, an ability to be concerned about you and an ability to care for him/herself as an independent being. Choose a person who has an ability to learn - to learn new ways, to be curious about the world and people. Choose someone who when hurt by you feels pain and is willing to show it, a person who can also see when you have been hurt and can make amends. Someone who is willing to be like a woman - tough and fragile, who is sensitive or can learn to develop sensitivity.
A person who has an inner life, a person who follows his or her own journey, be it writing, meditation, woodwork, or musical appreciation. Choose a person with whom you can merge, and yet from whom you can simultaneously remain separate. Making memories together forms part of the core of relationships, so choose someone who has similar passions in life to your own so that relationship memories can be built up. Simple things like walking together will do it. Choose someone who has similar values to you about children, money, families, male and female roles. Accept that these take time to work out.
Choose a partner who is compassionate, willing and able to listen and who gives equal time to you as to himself. Someone who can laugh at himself, who can stop an argument mid-sentence and apologise makes a good partner. When choosing a partner know what you can and cannot live with, what faults and characteristics are acceptable and not acceptable. Intolerable things in all relationships include addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling, criminal activities, lying, and someone who cannot face you after making a mistake.
Your partner should be your friend and lover. Choose someone who has had an HIV test and an STD (sexually transmitted disease) screening and is prepared to use condoms. Make sure that when you choose, you choose someone who makes your life bigger rather than smaller.
Relationships are for grown ups only, not for wounded children. Grown up relationships require flexibility in order to deal with the changes demanded of modern relationships. The ability of partners to negotiate creatively is more critical now than ever. Closing your eyes to the work that grown up love and relationships require predicts discontent, disappointment and divorce. But keeping your eyes gazing at yourself and each other promises pleasure, passion and possibilities.
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