Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men

[RollinCalf]

Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men

OK Tropi.

Now, becuase of the nature of the work that I do, I have worked mostly with women all of my professional life. Also, I have heard single women Black, Brown and yes, even Blonde and Blue eyed, complain all of my life that there are no eligible single men out there.

The problem you are having then, it would seem to me, is merely a symptom of a larger problem throughout society - men are not, in general, as interested in the security of a relationship as women are.

There are many many reasons for this. Some are biological, which I won't go into unless you are prepared for the pain, and others are sociological. As far as the latter is concerned, the mere "availability" of women these days, in all senses of the term, is the first place I would look for an answer.

In other words, days gone by, you had to settle down and get married to get what you were looking for. Today, it out deh a street for the taking, for anyone who wants, and in most cases, for free !!!. Many women, for whatever reason, are prepared to be taken up and put down like a yesterday's Gleaner. So why, some men reason, should I go through the hassle of the whole dating, wining and dining, let alone, marrying, business when all I have to do is give off likkle argument and I can have a different one every week ?

So, it would appear to me, that in your search for answers, I would start by talking a long hard look at the behavior of my sisters too.

Hope mi no mash nobaddy corn.

[jcanseabee]

Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men

Originally posted by RollinCalf:
[qb] OK Tropi.

Now, becuase of the nature of the work that I do, I have worked mostly with women all of my professional life. Also, I have heard single women Black, Brown and yes, even Blonde and Blue eyed, complain all of my life that there are no eligible single men out there.

The problem you are having then, it would seem to me, is merely a symptom of a larger problem throughout society - men are not, in general, as interested in the security of a relationship as women are.

There are many many reasons for this. Some are biological, which I won't go into unless you are prepared for the pain, and others are sociological. As far as the latter is concerned, the mere "availability" of women these days, in all senses of the term, is the first place I woild look for an answer.

In other words, days gone by, you had to settle down and get married to get what you were looking for. Today, it out deh a street for anyone who wants. Many women, for whatever reason, are prepared to be taken up and put down like a Gleaner. So why, some men reason, should I go through the hassle of the whole dating, wining and dining, let alone, marrying, business ?

So, it would appear to me, that in your search for answers, I would start by talking a long hard look at the behavior of my sisters.

Hope mi no mash nobaddy corn. [/qb]

Rollin Calf, The whole "why buy the cow ...?" theory comes back to bite usin the butt once again! True wud doh! A lot of us women are guilty, and it's a sad truth that even "Christian Women" have fallen into that foolishness!

[Jaysan]

Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men

Tropicana, you said you have "given up" and started dating non-Christians? Given up on who? God? I would think that you have faith to believe that God will supply all your needs....if He hasn't supplied it, perhaps you don't need it - yet. Have you read Matthew 6:33? The part that says seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all other things will be ADDED? Perhaps you haven't finished seeking Him yet and therefore, the mate hasn't been added. Perhaps you need to make your relationship with God a little more grounded and in return, your dates or lack thereof wouldn't make you feel so empty and you wouldn't see it as "abnormal" when a young, educated, Christian, Jamaican female says they are saved, single and satisfied....

[Tropicana]

Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men

RollingCalf:

The problem you are having then, it would seem to me, is merely a symptom of a larger problem throughout society - men are not, in general, as interested in the security of a relationship as women are.

There are many many reasons for this. Some are biological, which I won't go into unless you are prepared for the pain, and others are sociological. As far as the latter is concerned, the mere "availability" of women these days, in all senses of the term, is the first place I would look for an answer.

In other words, days gone by, you had to settle down and get married to get what you were looking for. Today, it out deh a street for the taking, for anyone who wants, and in most cases, for free !!!. Many women, for whatever reason, are prepared to be taken up and put down like a yesterday's Gleaner. So why, some men reason, should I go through the hassle of the whole dating, wining and dining, let alone, marrying, business when all I have to do is give off likkle argument and I can have a different one every week ?

100% agreed. This is at the root of the problem. Racial discrimination and the demographics in the church are compounding factors.

I used to think that this business of women "putting out" to get men didn't apply to Christians. To quote Deanna Durbin in the movie First Love "Wrong Again". Christianity Today even ran an article about that very subject. I posted it once and I will try and find it again.

I have had a very candid talk with a couple Christian men (White) and they have confirmed that. One in particular told me that he has to clean up his act in this area. Before I stopped him, he even tried to go into all the gory details about what happened between him and a particular Christian woman (also White). He admitted that things had gotten hot and heavy with her. He then turned around said that he didn't find her attractive, she was showing signs of aging and she had a few wrinkles. (She is a gorgeous blonde and she used to model. I looked closely and I didn't see even one wrinkle.) I slammed him and told him it was inappropriate to kiss and tell. It was too late. He had gone around repeating this to a lot of people and it eventually got back to her.

Anyway, yes RollingCalf you are right. My mom has shared withe me meny times that, when she was a young woman, her pastor at her church in Kingston used to say "the morals of the nation are determined by the women". In many respects, we as women are our own worst enemies and we have created this problem under the guises of women's lib and the sexual revolution. Men are able to have a ball with little impetus to marry. Unfortunately, this goes on inside the church too.

Ashram-J:

I am being honest. No point in putting on a mask and lying about it. I have been humiliated one too many times to think it's funny by these racist so-called Christian men. I am not going to sit around and wait for them to take an interest. However, I will start visiting more of the Pentecostal Churches and some of the Apostolic churches and Church of God congregations in the GTA. It will be quite an adjustment for me though.

[Jaysan]

Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men

And you have yet to comment on my statements. If you had a complete relationship with God, if you trusted Him with your entire being - broken heart, embarassed ego and all - you wouldn't find it "abnormal" to be saved, single and satisfied.

Perhaps you need to re-evaluate your life with GOD first...before you try and bring a man into your life. You have been hurt and the wounds have not yet been healed - it's a dangerous thing to try and bring a man into your life when you still have open wounds/issues that have yet to be dealt with.

Trust GOD - and this "burden" of being single (since you seem to see it as a burden) wont be so hard to bare.

[Tropicana]

Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men

I was just about to comment Ashram-J. In fact I had already cut your comment:

. Perhaps you need to make your relationship with God a little more grounded and in return, your dates or lack thereof wouldn't make you feel so empty and you wouldn't see it as "abnormal" when a young, educated, Christian, Jamaican female says they are saved, single and satisfied....

and I was about to paste it into this thread. You likely have a point Ahsram-J. I had this very conversation with a Black minister yesterday. This stuff never used to bother me as much (although it always did bother me to a degree). I am seeing the passing of time, seeing Christian White men regardless of their age taking an interest in women in their 20s. I am having trouble meeting Black men who are Christians and, yes, it has sent me into a panic. I have no desire to learn to be content and single. I want to get married again. I do see being single as a fate worse than death. Thank God I have my son.

Anyway, this has been a great discussion so far today. Got errands to run. Please carry on without me. I'll be back.

[Jaysan]

Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men

Originally posted by Tropicana:
[qb]I have no desire to learn to be content and single. [/qb]

Paul told the Phillipian church that he learned that in whatever state he found himself, he would be content.

The fact that you have "...no desire to learn to be content..." speaks volumes of your character.

I wish you well.

[Tropicana]

Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men

Ashram-J:

I am being honest. I am not a hypocrite. No use in smiling and saying all the "right" things when that is NOT what I feel. I leave that to others. Why is it that the only options have to be date non-Christians or be stuck being single?

Let's keep this discussion focused on the issues not the personal put downs. I would have expected more than that from you.

[britisha]

Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men

Hope mi no mash nobaddy corn.

But si yah!! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

I found this humorous, thanks for the laughter!!