Ethical Dilema?

[Diplomat]

True story: A church member committed adultery and confessed her transgression to her minister. For whatever reason(s), the minister brought the husband in and disclosed the wife's transgression. The wife sued the minister for breach of confidentiality and the courts agreed with her, she won.

Was the minister wrong? Should the minister/member "confidentiality agreement" apply to issues such as this one? Should she have sued?

[Guest]

Re: Ethical Dilema?

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb] True story: A church member committed adultery and confessed her transgression to her minister. For whatever reason(s), the minister brought the husband in and disclosed the wife's transgression. The wife sued the minister for breach of confidentiality and the courts agreed with her, she won.

Was the minister wrong? Should the minister/member "confidentiality agreement" apply to issues such as this one? Should she have sued? [/qb]

She and the minister are both wrong. She shouldn't have committed adultry in the first place. The minister could have instructed her to confess to her husband and leave it at that.

[jedi]

Re: Ethical Dilema?

She sinned, every one sins regardless, all sin is sin. She confessed it to her pastor...he had no right to tell it to her husband, he should have encouraged her to confess it to her husband and ask him for forgiveness. Knowing the implications of adultery and the law that was a stupid thing to do. She sued him!!! no wonder she committed adultery.

[RollinCalf]

Re: Ethical Dilema?

CEW, I am confused. Why would someone who feels so strongly about keeping this information from others not just keep her mouth shut ?

And why would you recruit another into your web of deceit, i.e. "I am going to tell you something that involves my husband but you are not to tell him" ?

The minister had no choice. That's why when some people come to mi with them su su I run them, cause I would rather not know than be burdened with having to "keep a secret".

[neutral]

Re: Ethical Dilema?

sue him baxide yes!,she was entitled to a high degree of confidentiality from such a man as a minister.
if he was unable to keep her confession confidential then he should not have been a party to what she had to say in the first place,he should have told her that he was not the best person to confide in.

what he did was unforgivable,"sin" or no "sin",he thought he would sit in moral judgement on the woman by telling the husband.

I dont wrong de ooman,sue him baxide,
the woman knew she had done wrong,and as part of her healing process she confided in her church minister,she has every right to expect such a man of the cloth to keep her confession private.

I hope he was made to hand over every penny he had,especially all the ones he stole from the collection plate every sunday,de dyam hypocrite.

[RollinCalf]

Re: Ethical Dilema?

Neutral, if the man find out that the minister knew and did not tell him, he could have sued the Rev. too.

Anyweh yuh tun makka juk yuh when it come to su su.

Turn to him for healing ? What healing ! If she (sincerely) wanted to heal, all she had to do was dump joe grine and confess to her husband.

[neutral]

Re: Ethical Dilema?

Originally posted by RollinCalf:
[qb] Neutral, if the man find out that the minister knew and did not tell him, he could have sued the Rev. too.

Anyweh yuh tun makka juk yuh when it come to su su.

Turn to him for healing ? What healing ! If she (sincerely) wanted to heal, all she had to do was dump joe grine and confess to her husband. [/qb]

as yu said,wherever yu tun macka jook yu,but mi jus look pon it another way,what if de pastah man did fine out seh joe grine a him breddah,yu tink him wouldah tell de husband.
or what if de ooman did offer him a likkle piece fe no tell nobody.

[Diplomat]

Re: Ethical Dilema?

RollinCalf: I hear ya. Did she tell him so she could appease her conscience, and if so, why not simply confess to God and leave it at that? If she had confessed to murder or child molestation, would he have been expected to keep that to himself too?

[Guest]

Re: Ethical Dilema?

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb] RollinCalf: I hear ya. Did she tell him so she could appease her conscience, and if so, why not simply confess to God and leave it at that? If she had confessed to murder or child molestation, would he have been expected to keep that to himself too? [/qb]

CEW, you have to keep in mind that some christians have difficulty going to God when they've really messed up. Not everyone understands the intimate relationship that should exist between them and God.

Murder and child molestation is a lot different in than adultery. He can't be expected to treat these situation the same way.

Bottomline is, he should have told her that he had to speak to her husband about the situation with her present.

[jedi]

Re: Ethical Dilema?

Originally posted by neutral:
[qb] sue him baxide yes!,she was entitled to a high degree of confidentiality from such a man as a minister.
if he was unable to keep her confession confidential then he should not have been a party to what she had to say in the first place,he should have told her that he was not the best person to confide in.

what he did was unforgivable,"sin" or no "sin",he thought he would sit in moral judgement on the woman by telling the husband.

I dont wrong de ooman,sue him baxide,
the woman knew she had done wrong,and as part of her healing process she confided in her church minister,she has every right to expect such a man of the cloth to keep her confession private.

I hope he was made to hand over every penny he had,especially all the ones he stole from the collection plate every sunday,de dyam hypocrite. [/qb]

Umm! right on all points Neutral except one. Christians are admonished not to go to the law against each other. But she could have gotten a few elders together and confronted the pastor about his lack of discretion in handling the matter.

[Queen]

Re: Ethical Dilema?

The minister should have used wisdom before divulging such detrimental information to the lady's husband. She trusted him enough to confide her area of weakness to him; I question his motive for breaking her confidence.

As for whether or not she should have sued the minister, since they're all christians, this is what the Bible says about such matter:


KJV:

Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints?

Message Translation:

1And how dare you take each other to court! When you think you have been wronged, does it make any sense to go before a court that knows nothing of God's ways instead of a family of Christians? 2The day is coming when the world is going to stand before a jury made up of Christians. If someday you are going to rule on the world's fate, wouldn't it be a good idea to practice on some of these smaller cases? 3Why, we're even going to judge angels! So why not these everyday affairs? 4As these disagreements and wrongs surface, why would you ever entrust them to the judgment of people you don't trust in any other way?

[jedi]

Re: Ethical Dilema?

Right on (((Queen)))

[Guest]

Re: Ethical Dilema?

Originally posted by Queen:
[qb] The minister should have used wisdom before divulging such detrimental information to the lady's husband. She trusted him enough to confide her area of weakness to him; I question his motive for breaking her confidence.

As for whether or not she should have sued the minister, since they're all christians, this is what the Bible says about such matter:


KJV:

Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints?

Message Translation:

1And how dare you take each other to court! When you think you have been wronged, does it make any sense to go before a court that knows nothing of God's ways instead of a family of Christians? 2The day is coming when the world is going to stand before a jury made up of Christians. If someday you are going to rule on the world's fate, wouldn't it be a good idea to practice on some of these smaller cases? 3Why, we're even going to judge angels! So why not these everyday affairs? 4As these disagreements and wrongs surface, why would you ever entrust them to the judgment of people you don't trust in any other way?

[/qb]

Agree.

It's was a very difficult situation for both of them though.

[Diplomat]

Re: Ethical Dilema?

Originally posted by Compry:

Murder and child molestation is a lot different in than adultery. He can't be expected to treat these situation the same way.

The point I was trying to make was one of principle. One cannot assume that we can tell a minister *anything* and not realize there are some things that they are legally required to report, regardless of confidentiality and how we perceive that confidentiality. In the situation in question, I question her motive for telling the minister if she was not prepared to work the issue through with her husband. The act of adultery was a violation of her marriage covenant with him, and by simply confessing to the minister was not going to repair that violation. It seems to me that she unwittingly engaged the minister in a web of deceit, a very big burden for anyone to carry.

Bottomline is, he should have told her that he had to speak to her husband about the situation with her present.

Where I fault the minister was not in the disclosure, but in doing so without her consent or offering to be the facilitator between them when she told her husband. There is no way that he could have counseled her without making the violation of her marriage covenant clear. If I were the minister, I would extricate myself from the web not by telling her husband behind her back or without her knowledge (it would not be my place to do so) but letting her know in no uncertain terms that the *right* thing to do would be to tell him, and offer myself as a facilitator for that process. I could not force her to do as counseled, but I would feel satisfied that she received proper counsel.

[Diplomat]

Re: Ethical Dilema?

Originally posted by Queen:

The minister should have used wisdom before divulging such detrimental information to the lady's husband. She trusted him enough to confide her area of weakness to him; I question his motive for breaking her confidence.

Her "area of weakness" or her sin?