We are getting a divorce.

[BoundBrook]

After what Red has done to me, I won't ever ever ever be the same. It was the most horrific experience of my entire life. In fact it was the single most embarrassing thing anyone has ever done to me, and he has done it with millions and millions of people watching.

Red nomiated me mopnths ago for a television show. Tonight I learned that I have secretly been taped and watched in order to gather footage of me in my everyday life.

Tonight, I learned, in front of hundreds of people, and soon, in front of the United States and Canada, that I have been chosen to go on TLC's hit show What Not to Wear

Tonight was the night where I had to watch all of the secret footage of myself and watch the interviews the he, as well as my best friend, and a co-worker, gave about my sense of style. It was humiliating and there were lots of people watching.

to be continued...with pictures

and no, I wouldn't ever divorce him.... This was perhaps one of the best nights of my life, embarrasing, but well worth it.

[Princess1]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

You didn't have me fooled for one minute---I already knew a long time ago that you marriage was a match made in Heaven! Peace and Blessings Princess1

[BoundBrook]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

Red nominated me months ago, apparently, he wrote a letter to the show, begging for help for his wife and her fashion sense. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]ray: He has been working on collecting secret footage of me. He even managed to get me out of the house long enough for the crew to raid my closet, to disect my wardrobe, all of which was video taped. It will be aired when the show is aired.

Good thing I am a neat freak and my closet was "very tidy", to quote the shows producer.

Anyway, in order to get me out of the house tonight, so the producers can do the "hit" (where they surprise me with all of the footage and interviews) Red told me there was some boring seminar he had to go to for work. He asked me to come along, he told me to dress casual and bring a book to read. I said "no problem" and left the house with him around 7 this evening. Expecting a boring night, of me curled up in the back of the room, with a book.

Once we arrived at the hotel where the seminar was to be held, I had a feeling something was up. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

We were lead outside to a patio where there was wine, beer, food... I thought what kind of seminar is outside and serves alcohol? I also felt incredibly under dressed, but figured what did it matter? I would never see these people again. I also wondered where the rest of Red's co-workers were?

to be continued

[bigbooie]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

Man I can't wait to see this.

[BIGRED]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

I am a very lucky that Boundbrook doesn't take herself too seriously and had a lot of fun with this whole thing. I knew she would be shocked and thrilled and can't wait to read the rest!

[jcanseabee]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

I just want to know 'ow much free clothes Boundie gwine get?

[cinnni]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

OMG...I love that show!
When does it air!!!!
I wish someone would nominate me. I would gladly hand over my wardrobe to Stacey and Clinton to get some of the new clothes those people get to get!
How does you hair look? Did Nic do a nice job? Did Carmondy do a nice job on your makeup? I always wondered about her...never too sure I like her makeup enough to want her to do mine.

[BND1999]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

I have seen this show.. so i know what its all about.. cant imagine youd be a good nominee...

not to be rude. but most of the people on there... are not that attractive.. and even when they are their wardrobes are atrocious.....

are you telling me Boundie.. you really dress terribly... have lousy taste?? i want to judge for myself.....

[BND1999]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

i forgot.. the one thing that is bad about this.. to me...

i think stacy and clinton or whoever their names are have terrible taste too.. so id not want them helping me to choose..... but depends how bad your taste is...

if they send you to NYC CALLLLLL ME!

[Boopie2]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

Originally posted by BND1999:
[qb] i forgot.. the one thing that is bad about this.. to me...

i think stacy and clinton or whoever their names are have terrible taste too.. so id not want them helping me to choose..... but depends how bad your taste is...

if they send you to NYC CALLLLLL ME! [/qb]

I agree BND, I hate that show they can be so rude and their taste in clothing suck.

[BoundBrook]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

I turned to Red and asked, "What is going on here? Why does the energy in this place feel so strange? Where are your co-workers? Why is there alcohol being served? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Then I turned around and realized there was a film crew there filming a few people off to the side. I asked Red, "Why are there TV camera's here?" [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] He just looked at me and said "Relax nuh man, maybe they are just getting the seminar room together for all of us, and this is a kind of holding area. I have no idea where my co-workers are, maybe they are late... just relax." Red stepped away to get me a glass of wine.

A few seconds later Red is back with my wine and I am sitting on a retaining wall watching all the craziness going on around me. I felt it in my gut that something wasn't right but Red wasn't telling, so I stopped asking. I sipped on my wine, eager to get into the conference room so I could get cozy in a corner and read, and escape the crazy energy all around me.

A few minutes later a woman wearing a headset comes over to me. She tells me not to be alarmed at the film crew. The crew was there because the guest speaker for the seminar is pretty famous in London where she is from, and some company is doing a documentary on her. She tells me that if I am used on camera I will have to sign a release form, and if I choose not to be in the documentary I should not sign the release form.

I smile and make polite conversation with her all the while sipping on my wine, feeling something really really strange was going on.

to be continued

[Jah_Mamma]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

WOW! I love watching this show. I want to nominate my sister but I know she would never speak to me because she is extremely shy.
When will your episode air?
Keep going with the story. You've got me hooked.

[BlessedLadyOfZion]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

Are u for real?? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

Mi nuh believe dis. Tell mi when dis airing!!

[BoundBrook]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

Then it happened.

Stacy and Clinton, the hosts of the show, burst through the doors and walk out onto the patio. I knew instantley what was going on. What not to Wear is one of my favorite shows, I watch it every Friday night. In fact, often times while Red and I are out in public I point people out to him that I think should go on the show. I knew I was somehow involved, everyone else seemed to be expecting Stacy and Clintons arrival.

In a flash, there were 4 cameras on me as well as 2 other women and Stacy and Clinton. I had bright lights on me and I was as red as red could be. I was in shock and laughing my head off. I was also trying to hide behind Red, but he kept throwing me back out into the spotlight. I can't even describe the rush of emotions I felt at that point. It was an unbelievable feeling that I won't soon forget.

Stacy and Clinton announce that of course there is no "Advance your Career Seminar", that in fact there were 3 people in the audience who were nominated by their friends and family to receive a complete make-over, and $5,000 spending money to get a new wardrobe. Stacey and Clinton then announced to the crowd "In case you don't know who the nominees are, or in case you are wondering if you were perhaps one of the nominees... we have the friends and family of the nominees here. If you see someone you know and love, you have been nominated.

The doors open and out walks my best friend Trace, my brother Mick, my friend Angel (someone I have known since kindergarten), and a few or Red's co-workers. They come and stand behind me and try to support me as I bend over from the laughing pains in my sides. I still cannot believe it.

Red is now standing on the retaining wall snapping pictures and screaming "I got you Boundie, I GOT YOU!!! and I am still in shock. How in the beck did Red manage to pull this off without me finding out about it? I have seen the show, I know how it works and I am amazed that Red pulled this off without me knowing. I happen to be a bit of a control freak, and incredibly nosy, he had to work overtime on this one to keep me from finding out.

Stacy and Clinton call my name as well as the other 2 nomiees names and make us line up in front of the camera's. I am trying my best to get a grip on the situation but I couldn't. I felt my face getting redder and redder and my smile was so big my cheeks hurt. I was also crying and laughing so hard my stomach hurt.



That is me, in the Kingston Rebels T-shirt. I am standing in between the two other nominees and am probably saying "Oh my God." This is when the host lined us up for the camera's.



Me wiping my tears and laughing my head off. I asm standing next to one of the other nominees.



Stacey and Clinton revealing to us why we were really there.



Again, me, with the laughing and crying.



Notice the other two girls are armed with their glasses of wine, while mine was missing in action! If ever there was a time I needed it!

to be continued...

[BND1999]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

Sorry Boundie but out of the three.. lol.. you need the help!!!

just take the $5,000 and do what they say.. with a twist.. as they dont have great taste either.. but you can scootch up some good stuff.... that you wouldnt be able to afford..

love kingston.. but that T-shirt belongs on Red.. not you... not flattering at all..

this is hilarious.. tell me when its on.. and when you in NYC.. i got to see you there!!