Somebody please tell a joke

[RichD]

Why did God invent a man first?



She wanted to start with something simple.

#cornyjokes.com

what do you call a Man with no arms and no legs on the beach?


...Sandy

[j-kid]

hand-me-the-dryer.jpg

[j-kid]

A husband and wife had been married for 60 years and had no 
secrets except for one: The woman kept in her closet a shoe box that 
she forbade her husband from ever opening. But when she was on her deathbed—and with her blessing—he opened the box and found a 
crocheted doll and $95,000 in cash.
“My mother told me that the secret to a happy marriage was to never 
argue,” she explained. “Instead, I should keep quiet and crochet a doll.”
Her husband was touched. Only one doll was in the box—that meant she’d been angry with him only once in 60 years. “But what about all this money?” he asked.
“Oh,” she said, “that’s the money 
I made from selling the dolls.”

[RichD]

;dwl:

[Peasie]

[kia027]

A dyslexic poet writes inverse

I break into song if I can't find the key

Your calendar days are numbered

Bakers trade recipes on a knead to know basis

Jumping off a Paris bridge makes you in seine

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses

Once you have seen one shopping center you have seen the mall

[j-kid]

Kia, no kno yuh hav it in yuh. Rewind an com again. 😜

[Peasie]

yes, Kia, come again.

[Peasie]

Irish text message

[kia027]

A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

ba da bam

[RichD]

[j-kid]

Shame.jpg

[Peasie]

[Leddih]

A woman bought a set of identical underwear for her husband, one for each day of the week.
The husband was unappreciative and protested.
"People are going to think that I don't change my underwear!"
"What people?" the wife asked,
You can still hear a pin drop.