Phatticus, please enter here

[Peasie]

<span style="font-family: 'Courier New'">Dearest Phatticus,

It is indeed with great sorrow that I write this note. Forgive me, my friend, I am a mere messenger on behalf of a gentleman. His nom de plume is Uswe. He sends his regrets and deeply appologise for offending a lady such as yourself with rather coarse words, I understand. Thankfully he did not reveal said verbage to me as, with our upbringing, those words could not pass my virgin lips.

My friend Phatticus, Mr. Uswe has further asked that I convey to you his love for you which he likens to &quot;cooked food.&quot; He also proffered peace offerings in the form of Juicy and Tastee patties. I kindly suggested to Mr. Uswe that such offerings, though meritous in their own right, are too lowly for a lady of your breeding and class. He has heretofore proceeded with haste to a certain gift store, Tiffany's I presume, to peruse and purchase items that would be to your liking.

Trusting you will find this note in great health,

Your humble friend,

Gungo</span>

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: Phatticus, please enter here

if my man buys anything from Tiff's that blue box will be placed in MY HANDS an no one else

[uswe]

Re: Phatticus, please enter here

I know that there is an underlying coded cyptic message from Guano that seeks to undermine my good intentions, she is not to be trusted

[Phatty]

Re: Phatticus, please enter here

When I get the box from Tiffany's I'll consider.

[Bandana]

Re: Phatticus, please enter here

[Phatty]

Re: Phatticus, please enter here

You don't wanna know, trust me

[uswe]

Re: Phatticus, please enter here

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">When I get the box from Tiffany's I'll consider. </div></div>


Phatty for you from Tiffany's

[Peasie]

Re: Phatticus, please enter here

<span style="font-family: 'Courier New'">Sir,

May I interject here at how lovely those sentiments are towards Lady Phatticus? I am above joy with such warm and heartfelt reconciliation of the young couple! But, my dear sir, Tiffany's gifts come wrapped in blue boxes with white ribbons. Did you perchance purchase those gifts from Sovereign Market? Your gifts are wrapped with red ribbons. Not that a lady of such breeding and class as our dear Phatticus would spurn, but I do want to see a young suitor of your stature correct oneself.

Ever and anon,

Gungo B. Peaas</span>

[Hush Darlin]

Re: Phatticus, please enter here

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gungo Peas</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> <span style="font-family: 'Courier New'">Sir,

May I interject here at how lovely those sentiments are towards Lady Phatticus? I am above joy with such warm and heartfelt reconciliation of the young couple! But, my dear sir, Tiffany's gifts come wrapped in blue boxes with white ribbons. Did you perchance purchase those gifts from Sovereign Market? Your gifts are wrapped with red ribbons. Not that a lady of such breeding and class as our dear Phatticus would spurn, but I do want to see a young suitor of your stature correct oneself.

Ever and anon,

Gungo B. Peaas</span> </div></div>
Dear Lord
This letter ceratinly made me laugh out very loud

[uswe]

Re: Phatticus, please enter here

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gungo Peas</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> <span style="font-family: 'Courier New'">Sir,

May I interject here at how lovely those sentiments are towards Lady Phatticus? I am above joy with such warm and heartfelt reconciliation of the young couple! But, my dear sir, Tiffany's gifts come wrapped in blue boxes with white ribbons. Did you perchance purchase those gifts from Sovereign Market? Your gifts are wrapped with red ribbons. Not that a lady of such breeding and class as our dear Phatticus would spurn, but I do want to see a young suitor of your stature correct oneself.

Ever and anon,

Gungo B. Peaas</span> </div></div>

Oh dear, I knew it was wrong to seek your assistance in resolving this matter, you're an Agent Provocateur as opposed to an honest broker.

<span style="font-style: italic">Tiffany's have corrected their mistake and replaced the red ribbons with white ones.</span>

[Phatty]

Re: Phatticus, please enter here

Open the box and show me what you got.

I refuse to take anything without checking it for Witchcraft

[uswe]

Re: Phatticus, please enter here

Expensive clothes, Perfume and shoes

[Peasie]

Re: Phatticus, please enter here

<span style="font-family: 'Courier New'">Lady Phatticus,

It is below your status to accuse the gentleman, Sir Uswe, Fifth Earl of Ham Walk, of such dastardly wizardry. He came bearing expensive gifts having lended himself to correction. Surely you have not forgotten your cotillion preparation where you learned to accept a gentleman's apologies with grace?

Perplexed,

Gungo B. Peas</span>

[uswe]

Re: Phatticus, please enter here

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gungo Peas</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> <span style="font-family: 'Courier New'">Lady Phatticus,

It is below your status to accuse the gentleman, Sir Uswe, Fifth Earl of <span style="text-decoration: line-through">Ham</span> <span style="font-weight: bold">Ital</span> Walk, of such dastardly wizardry. He came bearing expensive gifts having lended himself to correction. Surely you have not forgotten your cotillion preparation where you learned to accept a gentleman's apologies with grace?

Perplexed,

Gungo B. Peas</span> </div></div>


Why thank you Madame Peas, I must say this favourable intervention was totally unexpected.

[Phatty]

Re: Phatticus, please enter here

Gungo,
I don't know who spread the propaganda that I was a lady or trained in anyway to accept anything with grace. If Sir Uswe acted as the gentleman he now potrays, he wouldn't not have to purchase such awesome gifts.

Glad to perplex you,

Phatty