Open Letter to Gungo Peas

[twiney]

Dear Gungo Peas AKA Peasie or Tenant Avoiding Landlord.

I notice you have been avoiding me since I signed a rental agreement with a new tenant. Your ability to detect when I am not on boardlane and coming in all sorts of late hours when you know I am busy taking care of non-boardlane business has not gone undetected.

Take this a formal notice that you cannot hide from me and I will collect by any means necessary. Whether free will or force. And if mi no get mi blastid money soon mi going to set on mi collectors pan u. (u mussi tek man fi fool a pass through late hours a nite cause u owe rent :kisstooth

The macka bush will be chopped down because the bossman write to me about the slackness u customers carry on over there a night time.

Missing you mi favourite tenant...(mi only tenant that pay in cash the next one only pay in favours not that mi complaining)

Signed
Landlord Twiny

[Phatty]

Re: Open Letter to Gungo Peas

Mi tell yuh fi gimmie wah lil cawna fi sell mi drops, pink on top, and donkey jaw bone and yuh nuh dweet. Si wah badmine duh tuh yuh now yuh hab nuttin

ah good!

[Peasie]

Re: Open Letter to Gungo Peas

Dear Slumlord,

Mi did try sen di rent wid Tanyer an Keyer which, now mi tink bout it, is like sennin di mongoose fi protek chickin coop to ra$$.

So mi decide fi sen one cheque wid USWE as him woulda haffi pass di Poas Office on im way to Miss Phatty shack. No maam, dem noh a gwaan wid tings Him jussah peep pan har chroo har jalousie window. Dat was two weeks ago. Yuh mean yuh no get it yet? Poasey bicycle mussi bruk dung again

As far di burr burr bush dem behine di establisment, noh worry bout dat. Two av mi regular custamah, Stormney an Gen, ketch fight ovah one man, as usual. Dem swing and duck summuch knife an rachet roun each addah dat dem en up cutting down the bush bush. Needah av dem was hurt doah.

Mistress Twiny, mi deh pan haste. Mi ah run go catch one ride to Cornwall Regional fi pay visit to DahJahP2. Him lay up sick bout chree day now. Yuh see maam, awftah Missa DahJah cuss mi curry goat an tell pure lie pan ie cantents, unbeknownst to me, him was outta back a heat it same way.

Wishing you di Lawd Gad's richest blessin dem,

G. Peasie Peas.

[twiney]

Re: Open Letter to Gungo Peas

[Compry]

Re: Open Letter to Gungo Peas

BOAL

I need to stop reading Jamaicans.com when I am having a serious conversation on the phone. Peas, yuh mek mi snicker in di miggle of a very tender moment.

[Peasie]

Re: Open Letter to Gungo Peas

snickering during very tender moment.

So, wah kine a moment? And was di snickering, eeem, misinterpreted?