COURTROOM FI DI DEFENSE..Here

[Wendy]

Unu begin tryin di case fi di <span style="font-weight: bold">Defense </span>yah soh

Gen yuh have yuh openening statement wey yuh a write fram mi noh know how lang now

[Gen]

Re: COURTROOM FI DI DEFENSE..Here

adjust mi spektakles


<span style="font-style: italic">but a who dis blasted clawk a facety wid dough fadda geezas, him betta mine shawp smaddy nuh lik him dung outa hawf way chree likkle more </span>

[Wendy]

Re: COURTROOM FI DI DEFENSE..Here

Can betta yuh still a use typewrita a try type out di statement Weh yuh <span style="text-decoration: line-through">criminal </span>defendant dey.. Yuh noh know yuh shoulda hancuff im to yuh dis marning?

[Gen]

Re: COURTROOM FI DI DEFENSE..Here

<span style="font-size: 11pt">GOOD MORNING EVERYONE, YOUR HONOURABLE, JURY

Ladies and genkelpeple of the jury, today I am here to prove to you that blackgiant aka blugiant as not committed any crime and that he should be set forth free to go forth. Blugiant is an hupstanding member of the Moco community and is a 5th form teacher at the cackpit mountain High school.


There are several different variations of Jamaican patwa that can be found throughout the highland, from kingstonian to lucy.

In the community of moco, this alleged “fake patwa” is spoken by everyone, from the paster and law enforcement officers to the members of our esteemed Parliament.

Today we will hear from members of the community who also speak this “fake patwa”

Ladies and genklepeople of the jury, this is a frivolous case which only serves to waste the taxapayers money and should not have been presented in the first place</span>.

<span style="font-style: italic">end of opening statement</span>

[Peasie]

Re: COURTROOM FI DI DEFENSE..Here

**<span style="font-style: italic">BAWLING on tap of mi lung dem ... tilet paper, icy mint, choo stick, sky juice .... </span>

[turtledude]

Re: COURTROOM FI DI DEFENSE..Here

Pay no mind to dis unruly court clerk... We can call fuh a recess to procure facts an stuff. Meet mi in the bar?

[Gen]

Re: COURTROOM FI DI DEFENSE..Here

calling the first witness to the stand

Ms Skelly aka _______________

[julie*mango]

Re: COURTROOM FI DI DEFENSE..Here

So is weh di Drudge deh? Mi a beg fi recuse mi self fram di case cah mi is serving as hinterpretatah fi di defendant

[Gen]

Re: COURTROOM FI DI DEFENSE..Here

eh he yuh think yuh slick, there is no conflict of interest

bout recuse yuhself.



<span style="font-style: italic">but fada geezas where is the magickstrate </span>

[Peasie]

Re: COURTROOM FI DI DEFENSE..Here

<span style="font-style: italic">Pssst, Interpreta, parridge stik up inna yuh teet dem. Yuh need a icymint? sky juice?</span>

[Gen]

Re: COURTROOM FI DI DEFENSE..Here

<span style="font-style: italic">please to approach the stand and swear in ms skells</span>


<span style="font-size: 11pt">now.


ms skells it is my understanding that you also live in Moco, and that you too are fluent in this type of moco &quot;fake patwa&quot;..in fact..you are so fluent in this patwa that you moved to kingston and carved out a niche for yourself as a moco patwa translator


please tell the jury and the court about your experience with moco patwa and remember you are UNDER OATH </span>

[Gen]

Re: COURTROOM FI DI DEFENSE..Here

the 2nd witness called to the stand is stormy

<span style="font-size: 17pt">as a <span style="text-decoration: underline">fluent writer and speaker </span>of moco patwa (which has been confused with swahili), stormy please get ready to swear in </span>

[julie*mango]

Re: COURTROOM FI DI DEFENSE..Here

Peasie: is ok man mi use di straw fram di box juice fi pick out mi teet areddy



Gen: Hawrite..mi swear fi tell di choot di ole choot an nutten but di choot so help mi B.O.B.

[Seveen]

Re: COURTROOM FI DI DEFENSE..Here

<span style="font-size: 8pt"><span style="font-style: italic">how long ms stormmey1 been home from the club? um um she may be . . . um um . . .&quot;impaired&quot; </span></span>

[Magician]

Re: COURTROOM FI DI DEFENSE..Here

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gen</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-style: italic">but fada geezas where is the magickstrate </span> </div></div>


<span style="font-size: 14pt">[draw hopen de kote room door, memba suddenly seh mi still a hole de empty bakkle a whites, dash weh di bakkle, leggo one muffled burp, shuffle inna mi seat, slam de bevel pan Kote Clerk finga]</span>