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People who over use the tambourine. Look! Everybody ain't meant to beat
it. When you don't do it right, it is truly aggravating and a nuisance.
KNOCK IT OFF! Keep still and sing like everybody else during the slow
songs.
People who fake the Spirit. Just because your friend felt the "touch"
don't mean you did too. If you start running around the church and you
have to stop because you're out of breath after going only half a lap
around the pews, we know you haven't been touched. SIT DOWN.
People who constantly holler something to the pastor all during the
message. If we need a blow-by-blow commentary, we just turn on ESPN!
We don't need you to comment after every sentence the preacher makes. We
know the preacher is 'preaching' and we know the preacher is probably
talking to you. SHUT UP so you can hear what the preacher has to say to
you.
People who constantly go to the bathroom. Nobody has to use the bathroom
four times during service and you're clearly not on a date. If you have
an incontinence problem, you should get in the prayer line and ask for
healing. If not, SIT YOUR BEHIND DOWN.
People who can't control their kids. How in the world can we concentrate
on hearing the Word, if little Jay-Jay is running all up and down the
aisle and going back and forth to the bathroom. The Bible says, if you
"spare the rod, you'll spoil the child," You need to BEAT HIS TAIL.
People who take 'Come AS YOU ARE' to a whole new level. I can understand
if you going through something. But if you got a fresh pair of Jordan's
on and a T-shirt, then you can certainly invest in some dress clothes
and take your earrings and nose rings out. Since when is it OK for men
to wear hats in the church and wear their pants to their ankles? GET IT
TOGETHER!
People who bring food to church. If you brought your baby a little
snack, but you're eating all his cookies and crackers dropping crumbs
everywhere then that's a problem. Take those Cheezits, Oreos and little
Rae-kwon outside. This is GOD'S HOUSE, NOT YOURS!!!
People who come to special church functions and criticize. If you're
standing in a corner gossiping about how you could've done a better job
at something and you haven't volunteered to help with anything and
haven't showed up to any invitations to join a ministry, I'm going to
have to ask you to SHUT-UP !
People who obviously show they don't like you. If you don't care for a
person too much for whatever reason, at least put up a decent front and
ACT like you have some Christian love! WHen you come to church, you
should look past people's shortcomings. Don't cut somebody up with your
evil faces and smart remarks. CUT IT OUT!
Finally, parents who dress better than their kids. If you come in
looking like an EBony Fashion Fair model and little Ashley is dragging
behind you looking like a poster child for 'Feed the Children,' you are
just DEAD WRONG! Give your child a "Just For Me", wipe your child's
nose, comb your child's hair (including the edges, and the 'kitchen'),
and buy them something decent to wear. Don't come out of the house
looking like a MILLION BUCKS while your kid is looking like 10 miles of
bad road. YOU KNOW YOU'RE WRONG!
Let the Church say, AMEN
it. When you don't do it right, it is truly aggravating and a nuisance.
KNOCK IT OFF! Keep still and sing like everybody else during the slow
songs.
People who fake the Spirit. Just because your friend felt the "touch"
don't mean you did too. If you start running around the church and you
have to stop because you're out of breath after going only half a lap
around the pews, we know you haven't been touched. SIT DOWN.
People who constantly holler something to the pastor all during the
message. If we need a blow-by-blow commentary, we just turn on ESPN!
We don't need you to comment after every sentence the preacher makes. We
know the preacher is 'preaching' and we know the preacher is probably
talking to you. SHUT UP so you can hear what the preacher has to say to
you.
People who constantly go to the bathroom. Nobody has to use the bathroom
four times during service and you're clearly not on a date. If you have
an incontinence problem, you should get in the prayer line and ask for
healing. If not, SIT YOUR BEHIND DOWN.
People who can't control their kids. How in the world can we concentrate
on hearing the Word, if little Jay-Jay is running all up and down the
aisle and going back and forth to the bathroom. The Bible says, if you
"spare the rod, you'll spoil the child," You need to BEAT HIS TAIL.
People who take 'Come AS YOU ARE' to a whole new level. I can understand
if you going through something. But if you got a fresh pair of Jordan's
on and a T-shirt, then you can certainly invest in some dress clothes
and take your earrings and nose rings out. Since when is it OK for men
to wear hats in the church and wear their pants to their ankles? GET IT
TOGETHER!
People who bring food to church. If you brought your baby a little
snack, but you're eating all his cookies and crackers dropping crumbs
everywhere then that's a problem. Take those Cheezits, Oreos and little
Rae-kwon outside. This is GOD'S HOUSE, NOT YOURS!!!
People who come to special church functions and criticize. If you're
standing in a corner gossiping about how you could've done a better job
at something and you haven't volunteered to help with anything and
haven't showed up to any invitations to join a ministry, I'm going to
have to ask you to SHUT-UP !
People who obviously show they don't like you. If you don't care for a
person too much for whatever reason, at least put up a decent front and
ACT like you have some Christian love! WHen you come to church, you
should look past people's shortcomings. Don't cut somebody up with your
evil faces and smart remarks. CUT IT OUT!
Finally, parents who dress better than their kids. If you come in
looking like an EBony Fashion Fair model and little Ashley is dragging
behind you looking like a poster child for 'Feed the Children,' you are
just DEAD WRONG! Give your child a "Just For Me", wipe your child's
nose, comb your child's hair (including the edges, and the 'kitchen'),
and buy them something decent to wear. Don't come out of the house
looking like a MILLION BUCKS while your kid is looking like 10 miles of
bad road. YOU KNOW YOU'RE WRONG!
Let the Church say, AMEN
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