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One day a small rabbit was taking a run through the forest. As he was running he came upon a giraffe. This giraffe was about to shoot up some heroin. The rabbit looked at he giraffe for a moment and then said, "Giraffe, don't do heroin. Heroin is a drug, and drugs are bad for you. Come running with me through the forest."The giraffe looked at the rabbit, then at the heroin, then back at the Rabbit, and then threw the needle away. The two then proceeded to run though the forest.While running through the forest they came upon a sheep. This sheep was about to smoke a joint. The rabbit looked at he sheep for a moment and then said, "Sheep, don't smoke pot. Pot is a drug, and drugs are bad for you. Come running with us through the forest.The sheep looked at the rabbit, then at the joint, then back at the rabbit, and then threw the joint away. The three then proceeded to run through the forest.The three then stumbled upon a tiger. This tiger was about to crack open a cold beer. The rabbit looked at the tiger for a second and then said, "Tiger, don't drink alcohol. Alcohol is a drug, and drugs are bad for you. Come running with us through the forest!"The Tiger then looked at the rabbit, then at the beer, then back at the rabbit, and then cracked open the beer and carefully placed it on the ground next to him. He then proceeded to slowly walk over to the rabbit, lifted his paw up, and then mauled the **** out of the rabbit. After he was done he slowly walked back to the beer, picked it up and started drinking it.The giraffe and the sheep were shocked. The giraffe looked at the tiger and said, "Dude!!! What the ****? He was just trying to help you!!! Why did you hurt him?"The tiger slowly looked at the giraffe and then said, "Because every time that rabbit does cocaine I end up running through the forest!!!"
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A little girl walks up to her father and asks "Daddy, why am I named Rose?" "Well, when you were born a rose petal fell on your head."
His second girl comes up and asks "Daddy, why am I named Daisy?" "Well, when you were born a daisy fell on your head."
His youngest girl comes up and says "HABAJIOALDKAHD" "Not now cinderblock" -
So my dog, Minton, ate a shuttlecock last night.Bad,minton.Comment
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Two fish are in a tank.One turns to the other and says "how do you drive this thing"?Comment
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A flight from LA to New York suddenly takes a turn for the worst and the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. Panic breaks out all over the plane. A woman in the front then stands up and says "if I'm going to die I want to die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone on this plane that can make me feel like a woman one last time before I die?" A guy in the back stands up and locks eyes with her. As he's walking towards her he starts unbuttoning his shirt. By the time he reaches her his shirt is already off. He hands it to the woman and says "here, iron this."Comment
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Two men are trekking through the desert. They've been walking through the desert for days, are totally lost, and in desperate need of food and water. In the distance, one of them sees a tree, covered in meat. As they get nearer, he runs off to the tree shouting "It's a bacon tree! We're saved!" When he reaches it, the tree just starts attacking and kills the poor man. The second man suddenly realises "ohhhh no! It wasn't a bacon tree! It was a hambush!"Comment
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A man is golfing with his usual golf buddies. The golf course is located right next to a highway. As the man steps up to the tee, a hearse rolls by. The man then takes his hat off and bows his head. His buddies ask him why he did that because he's never done it before and hearses pass by all the time. The man answers, "Well, she was a good wife."Comment
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Yes these are real corny. But dem still better than Derek's
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Originally posted by diabolical_Tanya View Post
When its hot in the jungle of peace I go swimming in the ocean of love.....Comment
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A husband and wife were playing on the ninth green when she collapsed from a heart attack.
"Please dear, I need help." she said.
The husband ran off saying, "I'll go get some help."
A little while later he returned, picked up his putter and began to line up his shot.
His wife, on the ground, raised up her head and said, "I may be dying and you're putting?"
"Don't worry dear. I found a doctor on the second hole who said he'd come and help you."
"The second hole? When is he coming?"
"Hey! I told you not to worry." he said, stroking his putt. "Everyone has already agreed to let him play through."When its hot in the jungle of peace I go swimming in the ocean of love.....Comment
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lawdAmercy
unno fi tap wid dis now.
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Finally I thread I can participate in!Originally posted by Peasie View PostlawdAmercy unno fi tap wid dis now.
Three women all die in a car crash and go to Heaven on the same day. They are waiting at the gate when St. Peter arrives and greets them, "Welcome to Heaven, ladies. There is only one rule here in Heaven and it is don't step on the ducks." The women each look at each other confusingly. St. Pete opens the gate and sure enough there are thousands of tiny ducks covering the ground.
The first woman goes in and lasts a week and steps on a duck. St. Peter appears out of nowhere with the ugliest man she has ever seen and handcuffs them together. He says, "This is your consequence for stepping on a duck. You must be stuck with this man for all eternity," and disappears.
The second woman goes for a month and finally steps on a duck. The same thing happens again. St. Peter arrives with the ugliest man she has ever seen, handcuffs them together, explains what has happened and leaves.
The third woman goes on for years and years, but never steps on a duck. Suddenly, St. Peter pops up out of nowhere with the most gorgeus man she has ever seen. He handcuffs them together, and without saying a word, leaves. The woman looks up at the man, bats her eyelashes and says, "Gee, I wonder what I did to deserve you." He slowly looks down at her and says, "I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."Comment
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good one
psst ... come yah likkle bit, seemiyah
... alla wi a beg yuh talk to Tanya and RichD
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See mi yah...what yu want mi fi tell dem fi ramp it up and come wid some more corny jokes? Yeah man mi will dweet! Iya! di people dem want some more joke oonu come with it!Originally posted by Peasie View Postgood one
psst ... come yah likkle bit, seemiyah
... alla wi a beg yuh talk to Tanya and RichD
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Seemiyah
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