Tweet
Thank you Mr Lizard!
The myth that women are squeamish cowards, who are scared of harmless insects and men are fearless protectors is exactly that - a myth. But, it's a myth that many are apparently willing to perpetuate. Maybe because it can sometimes help couples, who want to wrestle with each other in the bed but don't know where to start.
Yeah, a woman will pretend that she's petrified of a tiny lizard as an excuse to leap into the arms of a man. The man may be twice as scared but will big up his chest and whisper words of assurance. After all, the smart man knows that if he can pretend bravery and get rid of the visiting lizard, the lady may be inclined to thank him by focussing some attention on his personal lizard. Yeah, mi friends, it's like that. And, this is not just the product of my warped mind, is people tell me so.
I got some interesting feedback to last week's piece. You read it? My intention was to initiate a serious discourse about how gender influences the way we humans engage with other animals, but some people took the issue to a whole different planet.
<span style="font-weight: bold">One man sent me an email with the short but not so simple message: "Only women pet dogs. Real man stroke plenty cats." </span>One lady wrote a long piece, asserting her view that men are generally more afraid of animals than women are. She went on to suggest that many women, herself included, just pretend to be afraid of insects and animals to help boost men's egos.
The real gem came from a reader with a delightful story about his gratitude to a lizard. He credits the critter for assisting him to get close to a very special lady friend and he thinks he is not alone. He insists that every single man has had some episode where a woman's fear of insects has been a blessing.
Timely help
According to him, with the timely help of a roach, lizard, moth, bat or rat, even the ugliest man can get a woman to hug him and squeeze him while trembling like a leaf. <span style="font-weight: bold">In his case, the animal encounter not only led to bed, it was a carriage to marriage. </span>
Check his story: He was dating a cutie. Their relationship was sailing towards to the port called intimacy, but slowly. One night he was home chilling out when he got a frantic phone call. She was in a panic, screaming, out of breath and sounding desperately afraid. She begged him to come to her house right away. Thinking the worst, he dropped the phone and rushed to his car. He broke every speed limit and beat every red light as he sped to his damsel in distress, hoping that it wasn't a thief trying to break into her apartment.
When he reached her side, she was frozen with fear and pointing under the bed. But when he saw the object of her alarm he nearly collapsed from laughter. It was a little lizard, smaller than his little finger, but she was terrified.
<span style="font-weight: bold">She instructed him to kill it and he gladly obliged. But fearing that the reptilian rascal may have friends and family nearby, she invited Mr Man to stay the night. Well, long story short, she spent the rest of the night taking care of his personal little lizard. The result, a beautiful baby girl with a loving woman, who is now his wife</span>. The elated gentleman ended his email with the following words: 'Thank you Mr Lizard, Mr Lizard to the world!'
[email protected]
The myth that women are squeamish cowards, who are scared of harmless insects and men are fearless protectors is exactly that - a myth. But, it's a myth that many are apparently willing to perpetuate. Maybe because it can sometimes help couples, who want to wrestle with each other in the bed but don't know where to start.
Yeah, a woman will pretend that she's petrified of a tiny lizard as an excuse to leap into the arms of a man. The man may be twice as scared but will big up his chest and whisper words of assurance. After all, the smart man knows that if he can pretend bravery and get rid of the visiting lizard, the lady may be inclined to thank him by focussing some attention on his personal lizard. Yeah, mi friends, it's like that. And, this is not just the product of my warped mind, is people tell me so.
I got some interesting feedback to last week's piece. You read it? My intention was to initiate a serious discourse about how gender influences the way we humans engage with other animals, but some people took the issue to a whole different planet.
<span style="font-weight: bold">One man sent me an email with the short but not so simple message: "Only women pet dogs. Real man stroke plenty cats." </span>One lady wrote a long piece, asserting her view that men are generally more afraid of animals than women are. She went on to suggest that many women, herself included, just pretend to be afraid of insects and animals to help boost men's egos.
The real gem came from a reader with a delightful story about his gratitude to a lizard. He credits the critter for assisting him to get close to a very special lady friend and he thinks he is not alone. He insists that every single man has had some episode where a woman's fear of insects has been a blessing.
Timely help
According to him, with the timely help of a roach, lizard, moth, bat or rat, even the ugliest man can get a woman to hug him and squeeze him while trembling like a leaf. <span style="font-weight: bold">In his case, the animal encounter not only led to bed, it was a carriage to marriage. </span>
Check his story: He was dating a cutie. Their relationship was sailing towards to the port called intimacy, but slowly. One night he was home chilling out when he got a frantic phone call. She was in a panic, screaming, out of breath and sounding desperately afraid. She begged him to come to her house right away. Thinking the worst, he dropped the phone and rushed to his car. He broke every speed limit and beat every red light as he sped to his damsel in distress, hoping that it wasn't a thief trying to break into her apartment.
When he reached her side, she was frozen with fear and pointing under the bed. But when he saw the object of her alarm he nearly collapsed from laughter. It was a little lizard, smaller than his little finger, but she was terrified.
<span style="font-weight: bold">She instructed him to kill it and he gladly obliged. But fearing that the reptilian rascal may have friends and family nearby, she invited Mr Man to stay the night. Well, long story short, she spent the rest of the night taking care of his personal little lizard. The result, a beautiful baby girl with a loving woman, who is now his wife</span>. The elated gentleman ended his email with the following words: 'Thank you Mr Lizard, Mr Lizard to the world!'
[email protected]
Comment