Why patois can never be a language

[Tropicana]

Too much inconsistency.

For example.....pickney is the word for children yet is it pluralized "pickney dem"

When people are referring to head lice the word that is used is "lice" so how come the other kind of is "crab louse"

"Crotches" is always plural though people only have one....

Let's see...

Also there are redundancies as in “jeans pants".

Also the bad words make no sense.

Also what would be the origin of "kiss mi neckback" when someone is excited or "stick a pin" when you want to take the conversation temporarily in another direction.

Oh and how come it's foot battam and hand miggle. Shouldn't it be hand top or foot miggle.

Anyway, I will think of more.

[jah_yout]

and english has nooo inconsistencies or weird rules...

but i bet you would never say that about english...
mental slavery ting a run rampant

[Tropicana]

Give me examples of the same types of inconsistences in English.

[Wahalla]

Tough.... pronounced as Tuc..

Garioch pronounced as Ge-ri..

live...pronounced as Live or livve

humour pronounced as humor...


any word with pH in it....Philip... filip....phish fish
innumerable others.

man plural is men... not mans
sheep plural sheep not sheeps...
why is Fornication Under Consent a swear work....?????

all language have inconsistenay French is after all just pig latin.....

[j-kid]

Try speaking Chinese?

Too much inconsistency.

I see, yuh bin secretly cussing again?

Also the bad words make no sense.

[Peasie]

Stuff To Ponder

• [*=left]Sweet meets are candy, but sweet breads, which aren't sweet, are meet.
  [*=left]Quicksand works slowly.
• Boxing rings are square.
• Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it.
• Why is it that a writer writes, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, humdingers don't hum, and hammers don't ham?
• If you can make amends, can you just make one amend?
• If you have a bunch of odds and ends and you get rid of all but just one, what do you call it?
• Why do you recite at a play but you play at a recital?
• Why do we ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
• Why do feet smell and noses run?
• How can a SLIM CHANCE and a FAT CHANCE be the same, while a WISE MAN and a WISE GUY are opposites?
• Why is QUITE A FEW the same as QUITE A LOT?
• How does a building burn up as it burns down?
• Why do you fill out a form by filling it in?
• Why does your alarm go off by going on?
• When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible.
• How come SUPERMAN could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
• If it was only a 3 hour cruise, why did MRS. HOWELL have so many clothes?
• Why is it called a HAMBURGER, when it's made out of BEEF?
• Why does SOUR CREAM have an expiration date?
• What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?
• IF "Con" is the Opposite of "Pro", then what is the opposite of PROGRESS?
• Why is LEMON JUICE mostly artificial ingredients, but DISH WASHING LIQUID contains real lemons?
• How much deeper would the ocean be, if SPONGES didn't grow in it?
• Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
• Why do we wait until a PIG is dead, to "CURE" it?
• Why do we wash BATH TOWELS - aren't we clean when we use them?
• Why do we put SUITS in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?
• Why doesn't GLUE stick to the inside of the bottle?
• Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
• Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?
• What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?
• If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
• If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
• Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
• What's another word for synonym?
• Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
• When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
• When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
• Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
• Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
• Why do they report power outages on TV?
• What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
• Is it possible to be totally partial?
• If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
• Would a fly that loses its wings be called a walk?
• Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
• If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
• If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
• If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?
• Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
• Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
• Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
• If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
• Why is it that we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
• Where do homeless people have 90% of their accidents?
• If you drove your car at the speed of light, and you turned your headlights on, would they work?
• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
• Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
• If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
• How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
• Why isn't the word 'phonetic' spelled the way it sounds?
• You know that little indestructible black box on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of the same material?
• If Krystal's is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, why is there a lock on the door?
• When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
• What do you call a defective Milk Dud?
• If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
• Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
• Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
• If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
• What was the best thing before sliced bread?
• How come abbreviated is such a long word?
• If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
• Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
• Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
• Do fish get cramps after eating?
• Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosylabic"?
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
• If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
• Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?
• What is the speed of dark?
• Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
• If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of ear-rings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
• What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
• After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
• If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
• Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
• How can there be self-help groups?
• Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
• Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
• If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
• Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
• If olive oil comes from olives where does baby oil come from?
• What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
• If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
• Why do feet smell and noses run?
• If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
• If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
• I found a book in the library with the title "How to Read a Book" if you can't read a book how can you read a book on how to read a book?
• Why do manufactures of ladders put stickers on the top step of ladders warning you not to step on that step? Wouldn't it be better if there was no step to step on.

[Tropicana]

Try speaking Chinese?I see, yuh bin secretly cussing again?

No I don't cuss but I have heard Jamaican bad words you know.

[blugiant]

Too much inconsistency.



"Crotches" is always plural though people only have one....

wey name crotches

a kratches yuh meean?

neva kno yuh fii defend slackness


Lovindeer-Kratches

[Tropicana]

Yes these are valid points.

• Why is QUITE A FEW the same as QUITE A LOT?
• Why do you fill out a form by filling it in?
• Why does your alarm go off by going on?
• How can a SLIM CHANCE and a FAT CHANCE be the same, while a WISE MAN and a WISE GUY are opposites?
• Why do you recite at a play but you play at a recital?
• Why do we ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
• Why do we put SUITS in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?
• When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible.
• Why is it called a HAMBURGER, when it's made out of BEEF?
• Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
• If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
• Why is it that we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
• Why isn't the word 'phonetic' spelled the way it sounds?
• If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
• Why do we wait until a PIG is dead, to "CURE" it?
• If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of ear-rings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
• What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
• How can there be self-help groups?
• Why do feet smell and noses run?

These would not apply to language:

• Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it.
• If you have a bunch of odds and ends and you get rid of all but just one, what do you call it?
• How come SUPERMAN could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
• If it was only a 3 hour cruise, why did MRS. HOWELL have so many clothes?
• Why does SOUR CREAM have an expiration date?
• What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?
• Why is LEMON JUICE mostly artificial ingredients, but DISH WASHING LIQUID contains real lemons?
• Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
• Why do we wash BATH TOWELS - aren't we clean when we use them?
• Why doesn't GLUE stick to the inside of the bottle?
• Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
• Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?
• What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?
• If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
• If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
• Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
• What's another word for synonym?
• When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
• Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
• Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
• Why do they report power outages on TV?
• What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
• If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
• Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
• If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
• If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
• If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?
• Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
• Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
• Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
• Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
• If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
• How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
• You know that little indestructible black box on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of the same material?
• If Krystal's is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, why is there a lock on the door?
• When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
• What do you call a defective Milk Dud?
• Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
• Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
• If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
• What was the best thing before sliced bread?
• How come abbreviated is such a long word?
• Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
• Do fish get cramps after eating?
• Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosylabic"?
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
• If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
• Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?
• Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
• After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
• Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
• Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
• Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
• Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
• If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
• I found a book in the library with the title "How to Read a Book" if you can't read a book how can you read a book on how to read a book?

Never heard of these:

• How does a building burn up as it burns down?
• Why do you fill out a form by filling it in?

Makes no sense:

• If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
• What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
• If olive oil comes from olives where does baby oil come from?
• If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
• Why do we wash BATH TOWELS - aren't we clean when we use them?
• When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
• Why do manufactures of ladders put stickers on the top step of ladders warning you not to step on that step? Wouldn't it be better if there was no step to step on.
• If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

[Tropicana]

Still doesn't explain why "crotches" is plural.

[Peasie]

Hello, everyone! This is one of the weirdest sites: or your money back! We have ZIM, neopets, music, and much, much, more. E-mail us for questions, comments, complaints and information. Why not click on the Very Weird Stuff link to see more, or click on the music link? We have halloween and christmas pictures on the NeoPics link. Cheese is not a wild thing!!!!!!!!! Now I have decided to go for a world record. I will try to make the longest web page ever, made completely out of text! Won't that be fun? I will just type, and type, and never, ever use copy and paste. Wow...I really must be bored. Just goes to show what boredom can do to you. Any way, that's it for now. Wait, no it isn't, I still have to keep going, and going, and going. Because I do. THE REST OF THE STUFF I TYPE WILL BE COMPLETLY IN CAPS JUST BECAUSE I CAN. THAT IS ALL. SEEYA! Hi, I'm back. So far this is nowhere near the world record. I think. I don't exactly know where it is...oh, well. I'll just have to do the very best that I can. No one is really coming here, anyway. So it doesn't matter. By the way, TAB is a worthwhile, community-service organization. The form link is to a 100% fake TAB registration form that you can fill out just for laughs. I can't believe I'm bothering to do this. I have very low expectations of my site. None ever comes here, I could do this all day long and I still wouldn't have any more hits. This is just a pointless excursive in spelling errors and grammatical imprecision. May your day be shiney! The following is an extremely weird poem-thingy that I wrote when I was in a relatively weird mood:
never mind that noise my dear can anyone pass the cheese only if you say pretty please oh, boy do I have to sneeze. why must everyone always rhyme, why I’m a poet and don’t I know it? what I fear comes right after here not this life or the next will I ever be able to pass the test? we’re stuck in here, (alone my dear) and we’ll problem never get out so don’t start to shout. it’s dark and I want to go home is where the heart was where is it now? we’ll never know but oh crap it’s starting to snow and it’s time to show and tell about the well that you found last summer at camp when it was damp it was near the ramp oh god why must this be I liked that tree but now it’s gone, farewell so long I’ll miss you as long as you write but then I’m afraid to say good-night. my dear there’s nothing to fear that’s only a box that’s made of blocks next to the wagon that looks like a dragon why are you shaking it’s your fear that is making you shiver and act all a quiver. don’t you know that you only need be afraid of fear and never anything here and certainly not a post that acts like a ghost?
See, very weird. At least it fills up my word quota for the day. Not that I exactly have a word quota for the day. It just sounded very professional to say it. Anyway, I still don't think that anyone is actually coming here. You'd have to be an absolute loser (or really bored) to come here. I'd probley come here, but that isn't much of a surprise. After all, I've been to the Really Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything website over 50 times. Pathetic. But, whatever. As long as I'm happy, right. Humor the crazy person, okay? Oh, guess what? According to someone you problem don't know, this is the second most pointless website ever! Next to the Really Big Button, of course. I feel special. Come on everyone, group hug. Okay, now I'm starting to scare myself...I'm gonna quit for today. Seeya. Now I'm back. Is this getting confusing to you? Too bad. Now I want you to go to http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=eon" If you do this I'll get points in the game. Come on all you non-existing people! Help me! You know you want to! It's a worthy cause! Honestly, the more time I waste playing the game, the less time I'll work on this site and the less stuff you gotta read. Although why you'd be here if you didn't want to read is beyond me. Maybe you're lost. Okay, if you want to get out, click the little refresh button, okay? Good...what? You say it didn't let you out? Oh, well. You must be caught in a time warp. Keep pressing it. Maybe you'll break free. What's that. The little counter at the bottom keeps going up? Never mind. That's just how many times you have to click before you can leave. Good-bye.

[Peasie]

Can you research the inconsistencies in the English language in the previous post?

[Tropicana]

wey name crotches

a kratches yuh meean?

neva kno yuh fii defend slackness

Come come now you KNOW I don't defend slackness...this is an advanced language workshop. Mi notice no one has explained about the crab louse.

[Tropicana]

Can you research the inconsistencies in the English language in the previous post?

Depends, how much are you going to pay me? Also this is about inconsistencies in patois. You would need to start a new thread fi dat.

[Tropicana]

Hello, everyone! This is one of the weirdest sites: or your money back! We have ZIM, neopets, music, and much, much, more. E-mail us for questions, comments, complaints and information. Why not click on the Very Weird Stuff link to see more, or click on the music link? We have halloween and christmas pictures on the NeoPics link. Cheese is not a wild thing!!!!!!!!! Now I have decided to go for a world record. I will try to make the longest web page ever, made completely out of text! Won't that be fun? I will just type, and type, and never, ever use copy and paste. Wow...I really must be bored. Just goes to show what boredom can do to you. Any way, that's it for now. Wait, no it isn't, I still have to keep going, and going, and going. Because I do. THE REST OF THE STUFF I TYPE WILL BE COMPLETLY IN CAPS JUST BECAUSE I CAN. THAT IS ALL. SEEYA! Hi, I'm back. So far this is nowhere near the world record. I think. I don't exactly know where it is...oh, well. I'll just have to do the very best that I can. No one is really coming here, anyway. So it doesn't matter. By the way, TAB is a worthwhile, community-service organization. The form link is to a 100% fake TAB registration form that you can fill out just for laughs. I can't believe I'm bothering to do this. I have very low expectations of my site. None ever comes here, I could do this all day long and I still wouldn't have any more hits. This is just a pointless excursive in spelling errors and grammatical imprecision. May your day be shiney! The following is an extremely weird poem-thingy that I wrote when I was in a relatively weird mood:
never mind that noise my dear can anyone pass the cheese only if you say pretty please oh, boy do I have to sneeze. why must everyone always rhyme, why I’m a poet and don’t I know it? what I fear comes right after here not this life or the next will I ever be able to pass the test? we’re stuck in here, (alone my dear) and we’ll problem never get out so don’t start to shout. it’s dark and I want to go home is where the heart was where is it now? we’ll never know but oh crap it’s starting to snow and it’s time to show and tell about the well that you found last summer at camp when it was damp it was near the ramp oh god why must this be I liked that tree but now it’s gone, farewell so long I’ll miss you as long as you write but then I’m afraid to say good-night. my dear there’s nothing to fear that’s only a box that’s made of blocks next to the wagon that looks like a dragon why are you shaking it’s your fear that is making you shiver and act all a quiver. don’t you know that you only need be afraid of fear and never anything here and certainly not a post that acts like a ghost?
See, very weird. At least it fills up my word quota for the day. Not that I exactly have a word quota for the day. It just sounded very professional to say it. Anyway, I still don't think that anyone is actually coming here. You'd have to be an absolute loser (or really bored) to come here. I'd probley come here, but that isn't much of a surprise. After all, I've been to the Really Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything website over 50 times. Pathetic. But, whatever. As long as I'm happy, right. Humor the crazy person, okay? Oh, guess what? According to someone you problem don't know, this is the second most pointless website ever! Next to the Really Big Button, of course. I feel special. Come on everyone, group hug. Okay, now I'm starting to scare myself...I'm gonna quit for today. Seeya. Now I'm back. Is this getting confusing to you? Too bad. Now I want you to go to http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=eon" If you do this I'll get points in the game. Come on all you non-existing people! Help me! You know you want to! It's a worthy cause! Honestly, the more time I waste playing the game, the less time I'll work on this site and the less stuff you gotta read. Although why you'd be here if you didn't want to read is beyond me. Maybe you're lost. Okay, if you want to get out, click the little refresh button, okay? Good...what? You say it didn't let you out? Oh, well. You must be caught in a time warp. Keep pressing it. Maybe you'll break free. What's that. The little counter at the bottom keeps going up? Never mind. That's just how many times you have to click before you can leave. Good-bye.

Clearly you are having a nervous breakdown. Seek help.