I'm bored let's laugh

[Marilyn]

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
> his elbow goes into her breast.
> They are both quite startled.
>
> The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your
> heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive
> me.'
>
> She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow,
> I'm in room 221.'

[Sinco01]

Re: I'm bored let's laugh

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MissMonroeFan</div><div class="ubbcode-body">A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
&gt; his elbow goes into her breast.
&gt; They are both quite startled.
&gt;
&gt; The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your
&gt; heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive
&gt; me.'
&gt;
&gt; She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow,
&gt; I'm in room 221.'
</div></div>





my kinda woman ..

[Marilyn]

Re: I'm bored let's laugh

Ok ...so unno need something a likkle tamer

This is for the teachers on the board logging in during classtime

Lipstick in School

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press
Their lips on the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine all the yawns from the little princesses). To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handle d squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers.. And then there are educators.

[skins]

Re: I'm bored let's laugh

Sunday morning in Bedford Stuyvesant, New York. The church is packed and the devil decides to pay a visit.

The doors burst open; a black cloud rolls in with the devil in its midst. People jump out of the pews and run outdoors, screaming - all except for two people. One is the Pastor, the other is a Jamaican
Satan is a bit perplexed. He points to the Pastor and says, &quot;You! I can understand why you didn't run away, you are in your Lord's house, you preach against me everyday and you aren't afraid of me.
But YOU (points to the Jamaican), why didn't you run out scared like everyone else?&quot;

The Jamaican crosses one leg over the other and replies, &quot;See one, see de other! I been married to you sister for 36 years!&quot;

[Marilyn]

Re: I'm bored let's laugh

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BluMahoe</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Sunday morning in Bedford Stuyvesant, New York. The church is packed and the devil decides to pay a visit.

The doors burst open; a black cloud rolls in with the devil in its midst. People jump out of the pews and run outdoors, screaming - all except for two people. One is the Pastor, the other is a Jamaican
Satan is a bit perplexed. He points to the Pastor and says, &quot;You! I can understand why you didn't run away, you are in your Lord's house, you preach against me everyday and you aren't afraid of me.
But YOU (points to the Jamaican), why didn't you run out scared like everyone else?&quot;

The Jamaican crosses one leg over the other and replies, &quot;See one, see de other! I been married to you sister for 36 years!&quot;

</div></div>

Oh lord

[Bandana]

Re: I'm bored let's laugh

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MissMonroeFan</div><div class="ubbcode-body">A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
&gt; his elbow goes into her breast.
&gt; They are both quite startled.
&gt;
&gt; The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your
&gt; heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive
&gt; me.'
&gt;
&gt; She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow,
&gt; I'm in room 221.'
</div></div>

[Sinco01]

Re: I'm bored let's laugh

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BluMahoe</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Sunday morning in Bedford Stuyvesant, New York. The church is packed and the devil decides to pay a visit.

The doors burst open; a black cloud rolls in with the devil in its midst. People jump out of the pews and run outdoors, screaming - all except for two people. One is the Pastor, the other is a Jamaican
Satan is a bit perplexed. He points to the Pastor and says, &quot;You! I can understand why you didn't run away, you are in your Lord's house, you preach against me everyday and you aren't afraid of me.
But YOU (points to the Jamaican), why didn't you run out scared like everyone else?&quot;

The Jamaican crosses one leg over the other and replies, &quot;See one, see de other! I been married to you sister for 36 years!&quot;

</div></div>

[DiamondDave]

Re: I'm bored let's laugh

There once was a girl from Nantucket
who had a nose so long you could.....

oh, dear, <span style="font-weight: bold">that</span> won't clear the censors....nevermind

[halfwaytree]

Re: I'm bored let's laugh

A man gets on a bus and sitting across from him is a woman who he can't help but notice begins to continually sneeze.

After each sneeze the woman seems to convulse almost uncontrollably. After a few minutes of observing this the man speaks up and asks her if she is OK? The woman replies &quot;well mister, you see I have have a medical condition, every time I sneeze I experience an orgasm&quot;. The man replies back, &quot; wow, that is very strange, I have never heard of anyone having that condition before, can you take anything for that?&quot;

The woman answers back &quot; yes, black pepper&quot;!

[annshan2]

Re: I'm bored let's laugh

2008's First Christmas Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

The man replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Christmas Season Begins......

[Marilyn]

Re: I'm bored let's laugh

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Milo Man*</div><div class="ubbcode-body">A man gets on a bus and sitting across from him is a woman who he can't help but notice begins to continually sneeze.

After each sneeze the woman seems to convulse almost uncontrollably. After a few minutes of observing this the man speaks up and asks her if she is OK? The woman replies &quot;well mister, you see I have have a medical condition, every time I sneeze I experience an orgasm&quot;. The man replies back, &quot; wow, that is very strange, I have never heard of anyone having that condition before, can you take anything for that?&quot;

The woman answers back &quot; yes, black pepper&quot;! </div></div>

pass the pepper please Milo

[Marilyn]

Re: I'm bored let's laugh

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Annshan2</div><div class="ubbcode-body">2008's First Christmas Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

The man replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Christmas Season Begins......



</div></div>