The Prom Thing Again - Even in 2009

[rufian]

Re: The Prom Thing Again - Even in 2009

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Well we had a prom but in my predominanty white high school, the Black girls didn't get asked....ditto for the church grad. banquet.

Marilyn, I take it if there was such a fuss about having interracial couples at your prom, there was in interracial dating PERIOD. If you were in an all-white high school that must have basically precluded dating. Did you live in an all white neighbourhood? Did you have any opportunities to date in high school? <span style="font-weight: bold">I didn't and it scarred me for life.</span> It doesn't seem to have had the same impact on you or Cousin Compry.

The first date I had must have been when I was about 18. A Jewish guy asked me out and he took me to a party in a very well to do part of town. That was it until I was 20 and I finally started meeting Jamaican guys and college and FINALLY had a chance to go to Jamaican parties and dances. By then, the Jamaican population was starting to grow albeit not in my neighbourhood. </div></div>
What do you wish that your parents had done differently? How you handle it with your son? I mean did you just sit out the situation?
I ask because of obvious reasons

[Tropicana]

Re: The Prom Thing Again - Even in 2009

1. Racially mixed toys and books.I had a black doll. There wasn't that much available in terms of racially mixed toys at the time. I ensured my son had racially mixed toys and books from the cradle.

2. Give more warnings about race. I was not adequately prepared. I made sure to prepare my son. I cautioned him about race from he was about 3. Nothing heavy. Just let him know that some people in this world have very &quot;silly&quot; ideas and that they are to be ignored and laughed at. Shortly after that he came home and told him a kid told him he looked like pooh. He asked &quot;Is that one of those silly people you were talking about.&quot; I said &quot;Exactly&quot;. We both made fun of the kid. I said just be polite but don't tell him you've figured out how silly he is. That's our secret.

At age 8 when he wanted to play hockey, I told him about what his older cousin had experienced and let him know that hockey was still the one sport where Black people still had some trouble finding acceptance. He really wanted to play and I didn't stand in his way. You know we have never had any problems. Not even one and he STILL plays.

At age 10 I warned him that some friends may not stick around once he reached adolesence. He really cried. I said &quot;I hope I am wrong and that things change but if they don't, I want you to be prepared&quot;.

Maybe that's why he wasn't traumatized.


3. Make sure he had opportunity to meet other Black kids. This was a challenge when we were growing up. We knew some Black families but they lived very far from us. We didn't see them often. With the increase in the Black population, it's been easier for us to provide that contact for my son. His pre-school was racially mixed. He has certainly had contact with Black kids at recreational activities and sports. I inovlved him in soccer from age 3 and when it was time to pick a day camp for him, I didn't send him to the one in our neighbourhood. We went further North where there was more racial mixture. That was smart. He had some Black counsellors and there were definitely some Black kids.

His schools always had some Black kids but not a ton of them. I think it helped.

[rufian]

Re: The Prom Thing Again - Even in 2009

I see.
1. What you mean by racially mixed? Some toys white and some toys black?

[Tropicana]

Re: The Prom Thing Again - Even in 2009

The books I bought him had children and families who were Black, Asian, White, Native North American, East Indian. I couldn't find a &quot;baby book&quot; with Black babies (you know the one where you record the baby's developmemt) so I coloured in every baby and made them Black babies. I even changed their hair coulour and texture with coloured pencils. It came out really well.

In terms of toys, he had a little Tykes family van and I made sure he had a Black family and a White family. Even the little cuddly My Little Buddy for boys he had a Black boy and a White boy.

Let me try to find photos.

Okay he had a bus similar to this and it had Black and White children:





The van came with the White family. You had to buy the Black family separately.

[H_O]

Re: The Prom Thing Again - Even in 2009

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Well we had a prom but in my predominanty white high school, the Black girls didn't get asked....ditto for the church grad. banquet.

Marilyn, I take it if there was such a fuss about having interracial couples at your prom, there was in interracial dating PERIOD. If you were in an all-white high school that must have basically precluded dating. Did you live in an all white neighbourhood? Did you have any opportunities to date in high school? <span style="font-weight: bold">I didn't and it scarred me for life.</span> It doesn't seem to have had the same impact on you or Cousin Compry.

The first date I had must have been when I was about 18. A Jewish guy asked me out and he took me to a party in a very well to do part of town. That was it until I was 20 and I finally started meeting Jamaican guys and college and FINALLY had a chance to go to Jamaican parties and dances. By then, the Jamaican population was starting to grow albeit not in my neighbourhood. </div></div>WOW--it scarred you for life maybe the boooyz did find you attractive or they knew they wouldnt get sex from you---so y ask
heck, theres kids whos mom didnt buy them an x-box and there scarred for life

[Tropicana]

Re: The Prom Thing Again - Even in 2009

These were some of the books he had:





There were a couple of books that I thought were strong but they didn't have Black children so I coloured in some of the children and made them Black.

From I found out he was on the way, I started collecting books and toys. People couldn't believe the variety I had and how I managed to find them. I had enough to cover him for years.

[Tropicana]

Re: The Prom Thing Again - Even in 2009

He learned to read looking at books with picture like this.



Not the garbage that we had in school:





The only Black charachter in those books was the dog:



It is a disgrace that those books were shoved down the throats of kindergarten and grade 1 children. What were the educators thinking?

Talk about scarred for life. They should burn those books.

[rufian]

Re: The Prom Thing Again - Even in 2009

Why should they burn them? As you mentioned blacks were not an issue. These books are for their ideals at the time.

However, I remember that my daughter said when she was little she never understood why there were no blacks on TV

[Tropicana]

Re: The Prom Thing Again - Even in 2009

Those books traumatized black children (although we didn't know it at the time). They gave White children a really &quot;WHITE WASHED&quot; view of the world and formed their view of &quot;the ideal&quot; as you put it. Notice the girls are blonde. The books helped shape a mindset that persists among some Whites to this day. Those books were VERY dangerous.

Yes your daughter is right. Good question that she asked. We haven't even touched on what was and was not on TV. That is a whole other HUGE source of trauma. Also, the fashion magazines like Teen, Seventeen, etc. were all lily White. Teen was the worst offender.

[loops]

Re: The Prom Thing Again - Even in 2009

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">White kids talking nothing about boys and dating, morning noon and night.</div></div>

you two must have grown up in a different era. the kids in my high school didn't talk about dating 24/7. and for the record...i didn't date in high school either....somehow i came out unscathed.

[Tropicana]

Re: The Prom Thing Again - Even in 2009

Finally remembered 2 other books. He had LOTS of books but he really liked these:





I started reading to him when he was 7 days old and he is STILL an avid reader.