dad raped us

[blugiant]

After 40 years, four sisters will have their day in court having succeeded in getting their father arrested for sexual molestation.

The man, a 72-year-old retired teacher, who appeared in one of the island's Resident Magistrate's courts on Tuesday, was arrested by the police in 2008.

He is now blind, but that will not stop his daughters, who are now between 33 and 47 years old, from seeking justice.

"The possibility of him going to jail does give some satisfaction. The real problem lies with me having the gut feeling that my mother - and I use the word mother loosely - knew all that we suffered, and while all the suffering was taking place, she did not disapprove," the eldest daughter, Brigitte Smith (not her real name), told The Gleaner.

Smith, who lived in the United States for 25 years, moved back to Jamaica two years ago. She said the accused fled the US in 1988 during a trial for the same charges. In the middle of the trial at the US Family Court in New York state, he moved back to eastern Jamaica.

A report was made to the Jamaican police in July 2006.

Smith's other siblings, who are all professionals, still reside in the US and were in Jamaica up to Tuesday for the preliminary hearing.

Smith is an accountant, her sister Rhonda Moore (name changed) is a secretary with the US Government, Marie holds the position of a chief in the United States Air Force and Pauline is a university professor.

The four told The Gleaner that their ordeal started as early as age four.

"Mine lasted for 12 years, my other sisters had their experience varying years, with the youngest being the wisest because hers only lasted for six years," said Smith

[blugiant]

Re: dad raped us

The pain of 47-year-old Brigitte Smith is poignant as she revealed to The Sunday Gleaner how her now 72-year-old father allegedly raped her from as early as age four.

Here, the recollection of sustained sexual abuse is filled with details, some too graphic for publication.

Smith, an accountant, said her ordeal lasted for eight years until age 12; but two of her three sisters endured much more.

Rhonda Moore, a secretary with the United States government, said up to age 14 she was still being raped by her father. Marie, who is a chief in the United States Air Force, said she took that job at age 17 just to escape the abuse at home.

Their youngest sister, Pauline, blew the whistle on her father when she sought the intervention of school officials in New York City in 1987.

The case was being tried in the New York Family Court when, according to his daughters, their father fled to Jamaica, leaving his US$60,000 per annum job, as well as his wife, behind.

The sisters claim his wife, their mother, turned a blind eye to the abuse. Mom's response was, "It happen already, what would you like me to do?"

In an exclusive interview with the four sisters, The Sunday Gleaner was given the details of a life they lived with a man who allegedly abused them regularly and a mother, they said, failed them.

"I remember my belly hurting, wanting to pee, but he just kept on doing his thing. He said he loved me like no other would, that I couldn't tell anyone else about it as they would not understand, and it was our little secret," a still very angry Brigitte Smith stated as she replayed the events that took place in her life more than 40 years ago.

"I would wake up with him assaulting me. When I said 'stop!', he said I was hurting him because he loved me and I would not let him," said Smith, now married. "I would say, 'sorry, I do not want to do that anymore,' and he would be mad with me."

Sexual favours

Smith said she lost her childhood during the eight years she was forced to be around her father.

"He always treated me like a woman, saying how pretty I was and my breast was getting big just for him."

Even after she moved to New York with her mother, Miss Esmie (not her real name), her father would visit for two to three weeks, a period that felt like a lifetime.

"He wanted sex day or night. He would send me to take a bath."

But while Smith was being forced to deliver sexual favours, she said she never knew she wasn't alone - her siblings were also victims.

"Since I can remember, I was being raped by my father. My earliest memory was of me telling my brother, who is two years my junior, that my father loved me more, but it was a secret. He continued even after he brought us to the United States and the abuse got even worse," recalled Rhonda Moore.

"I remember thinking that I could be pregnant and he could act like it was nothing. At this point, I was 12 years old."

Moore speaks of times when she would get day-long headaches and would cry.

"He eventually moved the family to another part of The States and I met my best friend. Seeing how her family lived, I realised that what was happening to me was wrong and I started to fight back. I was 13-plus then."

Moore said she kept several diaries, which she still has. According to Moore, she told her mother to read them but, "she did not believe me, so life went on".

She said at age 14, when she started to resist his advances, her father eventually left her alone. But she had to face the consequences: no school fees, no new clothes, no attendance at her high-school graduation. Nothing.

Preliminary hearing

She said it was not until her younger sister, Pauline, now a PhD candidate, could take the abuse no longer and reported it to her teacher that the matter came to light.

The statute of limitations for rape in the United States is five years, but time does not run against the Crown in Jamaica.

"While New York tells us that because of us not stepping forward the next day after the incident, we have to suffer, Jamaica is giving us the opportunity to seek justice after 40-something years. I would say that the system has come through," said Moore.

Last Tuesday, the four women stood bravely in a Resident Magistrate's Court in western Jamaica, silently rejoicing, having earned their day in court after 40 years.

The father, a retired teacher who is now blind, was arrested by the police in October 2008. He appeared in court last week for the preliminary hearing and is set to answer the charge of sexual molestation in the Circuit Court in November.

Moore is aware that they have not yet tasted justice, but she is happy that the case has gone this far.

"People are seeing him for what he is. Some are looking at us and saying, 'Why would you want to send him to prison? he is old and blind'. They all need to think back and say, 'How could he rape that baby? She was helpless'," said Moore.

She said she was born with what is called a ventricular septal defect - a hole in the heart - plus asthma, which forced her to visit the doctor on several occasions.

"Did all this stop him from raping me repeatedly? No, it did not. So why should we have pity on him?" she asked.

As for closure, Moore said she does not envision that happening in her lifetime.

Moore said that over the years, she has become very vocal about what she went through.

"I do not see it as an embarrassment, but as a lesson, and my sisters and I all hold our heads high. What does not break you makes you stronger."

Past relationships

Marie said she remembers her father molesting her when she was about five years old.

"It lasted until I left home to join the air force at the age of 17. When I returned home for a visit about a year later, he tried again, but I was able to stop him."

Her ordeal, she said, has made her stronger, and definitely a better mother who absolutely puts her children first and will protect them with her life.

"I told my husband about my father's abuse and that lessened the effect on our relationship," she said.

According to Moore, past relationships were affected and she has had nightmares for years.

"I have not had psychiatric counselling, but my relationship with my sisters and the talks we have had have made the whole ordeal easier to deal with."

Marie does feel a sense of sadness when she looks at her father now.

"I cannot believe how much we feared this person, who is now a pathetic, blind, old man."

Her feelings for her mother have changed, she said, from sympathy to anger.

"When I think about my own children, my daughter, in particular, it hurts my heart to think that a mother could close her eyes and allow her daughters to be raped so that she could have what she considers a better life."

Marie said that although the experience was extremely difficult, she never once thought of committing suicide.

"I have always been able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. For me, that was graduating high school."

She wanted to go to college, but her parents decided that she could not stay on campus. The result: "A ride back and forth with my father every day," she said.

"I knew that this would give him the opportunity to continue to rape me. I joined the air force to get away from home, but it was not an easy decision. I knew I was leaving my two younger sisters behind to deal with this monster."

Marie says she still lives with the guilt of thinking she abandoned her sisters when she left home.

[blugiant]

Re: dad raped us

Victims will suffer emotional damage - clinical psychologist

Janet Silvera, Senior Gleaner Writer

Western Bureau:

Allegations by four sisters about years of sexual abuse by their father have rekindled discussions about the long-term impact on the victims.

Clinical psychologist Dr Karen Richards says the victims could definitely suffer psychological and emotional damage.

"And this is the case whenever one is sexually abused, particularly by a person who is close to you."

Explaining the various reactions that abuse will produce, Richards spoke of immediate, short- and long-term consequences.

"In the immediate, you might expect an extremely frightened, fearful and anxious child, because the abuser usually uses blackmail and threats, which the child buys into," she said.

Side effects

"In addition, there is guilt and shame because the abuser tells them most of the time that they are bad," Richards added.

She said unexplained, extreme bouts of anger, passive behaviour in some cases, and being prone to things like nightmares, are some of the side effects.

In the medium term, the victims might suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, hyper-vigilance, avoidance and intrusive images of the event.

In the long term, Richards said the victim usually experiences a lack of trust, depression and low self-esteem.

"I remember a woman once telling me that she had a difficult relationship with her body because she believed that there was something about her body that must have attracted her abuser."

Addressing the issue of mothers who would turn a blind eye when their children are abused, Dr Richards said some women have been known to place their children on the sacrificial altar of their relationship. "In that case, her loyalty lies with the man and not with her children."

However, for some mothers, there is a genuine sense of disbelief. "They can't bring themselves to believe that the man they have brought home to their family could be a danger to their children. To the woman, it is an indictment on her judgement."

Stigma

Richards added that in some cultures, there is the idea that the victim is now damaged goods, and in some cases, the mothers, too, are of this opinion, because of the stigma attached.

"Often, they are living in abusive relationships where they have been mentally beaten down by these men and may become very fearful," said Richards.

..

[britisha]

Re: dad raped us

That dirty so and so...**sigh** yuh si some people pass yuh a road and yuh don' know what dem going chruu. Mi membah di story of the girl who did shot her father, not so much for raping her but because he turned on the younger sister with the same nastiness...when she thought of her pain, and realise what the younger one would endure, she said "not a damn a dat," and put out his light..forever..

[Sinco01]

Re: dad raped us


Dat is a wicked man ..
im owna daughters ..

[julie*mango]

Re: dad raped us

that is just soo effed up....seriously......I can't even imagine...

[britisha]

Re: dad raped us

I don't know if this is the case, but if it is not, then there is another...

very very sad...video

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/crime/2009/03/19/ng.woman.killed.father.cnn

Stacey Lannert, The Girl Who Shot Rapist Father, Released: Should her sentence have been longer?
Stacey Lannert, 38, who was incarcerated for 18 years after shooting her rapist father has been released. In an interview with Nancy Grace, Stacey Lannert said her father raped her from the age of ... Stacey Lannert, 38, who was incarcerated for 18 years after shooting her rapist father has been released. In an interview with Nancy Grace, Stacey Lannert said her father raped her from the age of 8 until age 16. And although Stacey's mother had found bloody underwear throughout the home and never pressed charges against her husband, Stacey says she forgives her.

Stacey Lannert also described that during trial, the jury was asked not to take the rape-situation into account. But four jurors appealed, which was why Stacey Lannert's sentence was reduced from a life sentence to 18 years.

How do you feel about how the judge handled Stacey Lannert's trial?

[britisha]

Re: dad raped us

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Sinco01</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Dat is a wicked man ..
im owna daughters .. </div></div>

Wikkid and SICK...SICK...NOT ONE BUT 4...'ZASS CRISTO..

[blugiant]

Re: dad raped us

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Sinco01</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Dat is a wicked man ..
im owna daughters .. </div></div>


yu knoo wen mii read dat toree mii wass tinkinn dem fii leave itt inn god aand fii punish dat sick basstardd cah itt look like god awlreadee tart fii wukk pon imm. still mii cyaan fault dem fii waan imm fii spend de rest aff imm life inn jail


fiyah affii bunn cah mii knoo wan lady inn ja wen tunn crackhead ann de rumour wass dat ar faddar use fii rape ar ann ar sistah

[blugiant]

Re: dad raped us

de realitee wass dat imm mii beeleeve dat gurl storee mii wood ave vote fii acquit ar. 18 years wen shii didd de rite ting nuh fair

[rufian]

Re: dad raped us

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: blakkgiant</div><div class="ubbcode-body">de realitee wass dat imm mii beeleeve dat gurl storee mii wood ave vote fii acquit ar. 18 years wen shii didd de rite ting nuh fair </div></div>
me na too sure. now she ha de rape, de murder and the jail, etc etc to deal with afterwards

[foolya]

Re: dad raped us

I knew several family that had incest, in one the father had a baby with the daughter and his only son he striped naked beat him like them used to beat slave, then locked him up in the bedroom. The boy would escaped and come to my mom to beg food. some time we would see hiding naked in the bushes like run away slave.

I hate to say I have only seen incest in light skin Jamaicans family, not saying the dark one didn't.

[rufian]

Re: dad raped us

I would guess that incest amongst fair skinned folks would be considered preserving race as I experienced it. Likes the brits used to do, better than than go more black.

[blugiant]

Re: dad raped us

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: foolya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I knew several family that had incest, in one the father had a baby with the daughter and his only son he striped naked beat him like them used to beat slave, then locked him up in the bedroom. The boy would escaped and come to my mom to beg food. some time we would see hiding naked in the bushes like run away slave.

I hate to say I have only seen incest in light skin Jamaicans family, not saying the dark one didn't. </div></div>

intarestinn pint

de case wey mii chatt bout wass wan dark skinned man wey married inna wan red familee ann de dark skinned man ended upp abusinn imm lite skinn dawtahs. de rumour dough wass dat de red skinned grandfaddar use fii inna incest ting too

[sistactry]

Re: dad raped us

Lord in heaven, what a horrific thing to have gone thru, i cant imagine the pain, the dirt, the isolation, the lies that these children went through....

the mother should be shot with shiiiit~~~

and as to dat faggoottt, he should be raped everyday for the rest of his miserable life in jail~~

now THAT would be justice,

dutty nasssy piece a chittt - your own kids??? dyaaammm

to think how my father was soo kind, humble and generous to every body~~ i cant even fanthom that kind of humility and shame,

God bless them, and heal them somehow~~