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Dog lovers may think he's one sick puppy, but Mel Glickman believes the "100 ways to wok a dog" menu he has been distributing through High Park is just a provocative attempt at artistic humour.
Funny, but no one is laughing except for him.
The retired Etobicoke architect prides himself on being an outspoken, politically incorrect curmudgeon and is quite impressed with his efforts to devise a fictional menu for what he calls his Dog Liver Cafe, featuring "authentic Asian canine cuisine."
Among the sickening delicacies he has dreamed up: "S5 Boiled or baked dog head with garlic butter -- choose your own head from live dog pen; D08 Whole roast suckling puppy; and D17 Poodle w/ noodle."
"I call it an exercise in creative writing," the 68-year-old explains as he sits at his kitchen table, a dog calendar hung on the wall behind him. "I'm just poking fun at Asians eating dog meat."
Not laughing yet? He doesn't understand why.
He printed up about 100 of the menu flyers and began posting them on light posts and handing them out to dog owners in his High Park neighbourhood.
"I asked them, 'Are you interested in an exotic new dining experience?' "
'PSYCHOTIC'
One dog walker called him "psychotic;" another man practically labelled him a racist. Neither epithet seems to faze him.
"Why they would get insulted by this, I don't know. I really don't know," he marvels. "God, I hate political correctness."
On Wednesday, he says he got lazy and decided to shove his revolting menus under the windshields of vehicles in the parking lot near High Park's popular Dog Hill off-leash area -- a move in particularly bad taste considering it was the site of a vicious anti-freeze poisoning scare last summer that killed two dogs.
Agnes Timar is one of many professional dog walkers who finds nothing amusing in Glickman's nauseating menu selections.
"I think someone like this is just interested in attention," she says, as her six dogs obediently stand at attention before heading into the off-leash park.
"I wish I could say this is the first time we've been threatened in High Park, but this is certainly the boldest approach anyone has taken to intimidate us," Christine Ford wrote to her dog-walking clients after finding the flyer. "Many area residents have a problem with dogs being allowed in High Park, but this has to stop."
Glickman insists it was simply a misunderstood social experiment, not a dog-hating manifesto.
"I have time on my hands. I did it to test the waters and I proved my point," says Glickman, appropriately dressed in a black T-shirt that reads, "I'm not insensitive -- I just don't give a [censored]."
And that point exactly?
"This was to test the anal uptightedness of Toronto," the Montreal native declares with obvious satisfaction. "People are uptight: You can't flirt, you can't joke, everybody calls the police at the drop of a hat."
Brian Domander, a Toronto Fire district chief who often walks his dog in High Park, is one of many who believed the authorities should be contacted.
"I would definitely want the police to check up on him and give him a talk, especially after the problems they've had here."
Glickman certainly didn't make that difficult: He provided his phone numbers on the flyer. After several complaints, two 11 Division police cars arrived at his house Wednesday to investigate .
"I wasn't contrite," he stubbornly maintains. "I felt this whole thing was a tempest in a teapot because of these precious Torontonian types. I was just as outraged as anyone who complained."
Still, he did agree to "cease and desist."
"The individual has been cautioned," Const. Joanne Rzadkowski reported in an e-mail response to one outraged pet lover. "As a dog owner myself, I found the flyer disturbing as well. As always, be cautious when walking your dog in public areas."
NO HARM
Glickman says he never meant any physical harm.
"I love dogs," insists the former owner of a German shepherd-collie mix. "The essence of this is innocent and I'm not the ogre that people think I am. I have a sense of humour that sometimes misfires wit h people, but I'm also a provocateur."
A provocateur who should be put on a leash. why go to all that trouble?
Funny, but no one is laughing except for him.
The retired Etobicoke architect prides himself on being an outspoken, politically incorrect curmudgeon and is quite impressed with his efforts to devise a fictional menu for what he calls his Dog Liver Cafe, featuring "authentic Asian canine cuisine."
Among the sickening delicacies he has dreamed up: "S5 Boiled or baked dog head with garlic butter -- choose your own head from live dog pen; D08 Whole roast suckling puppy; and D17 Poodle w/ noodle."
"I call it an exercise in creative writing," the 68-year-old explains as he sits at his kitchen table, a dog calendar hung on the wall behind him. "I'm just poking fun at Asians eating dog meat."
Not laughing yet? He doesn't understand why.
He printed up about 100 of the menu flyers and began posting them on light posts and handing them out to dog owners in his High Park neighbourhood.
"I asked them, 'Are you interested in an exotic new dining experience?' "
'PSYCHOTIC'
One dog walker called him "psychotic;" another man practically labelled him a racist. Neither epithet seems to faze him.
"Why they would get insulted by this, I don't know. I really don't know," he marvels. "God, I hate political correctness."
On Wednesday, he says he got lazy and decided to shove his revolting menus under the windshields of vehicles in the parking lot near High Park's popular Dog Hill off-leash area -- a move in particularly bad taste considering it was the site of a vicious anti-freeze poisoning scare last summer that killed two dogs.
Agnes Timar is one of many professional dog walkers who finds nothing amusing in Glickman's nauseating menu selections.
"I think someone like this is just interested in attention," she says, as her six dogs obediently stand at attention before heading into the off-leash park.
"I wish I could say this is the first time we've been threatened in High Park, but this is certainly the boldest approach anyone has taken to intimidate us," Christine Ford wrote to her dog-walking clients after finding the flyer. "Many area residents have a problem with dogs being allowed in High Park, but this has to stop."
Glickman insists it was simply a misunderstood social experiment, not a dog-hating manifesto.
"I have time on my hands. I did it to test the waters and I proved my point," says Glickman, appropriately dressed in a black T-shirt that reads, "I'm not insensitive -- I just don't give a [censored]."
And that point exactly?
"This was to test the anal uptightedness of Toronto," the Montreal native declares with obvious satisfaction. "People are uptight: You can't flirt, you can't joke, everybody calls the police at the drop of a hat."
Brian Domander, a Toronto Fire district chief who often walks his dog in High Park, is one of many who believed the authorities should be contacted.
"I would definitely want the police to check up on him and give him a talk, especially after the problems they've had here."
Glickman certainly didn't make that difficult: He provided his phone numbers on the flyer. After several complaints, two 11 Division police cars arrived at his house Wednesday to investigate .
"I wasn't contrite," he stubbornly maintains. "I felt this whole thing was a tempest in a teapot because of these precious Torontonian types. I was just as outraged as anyone who complained."
Still, he did agree to "cease and desist."
"The individual has been cautioned," Const. Joanne Rzadkowski reported in an e-mail response to one outraged pet lover. "As a dog owner myself, I found the flyer disturbing as well. As always, be cautious when walking your dog in public areas."
NO HARM
Glickman says he never meant any physical harm.
"I love dogs," insists the former owner of a German shepherd-collie mix. "The essence of this is innocent and I'm not the ogre that people think I am. I have a sense of humour that sometimes misfires wit h people, but I'm also a provocateur."
A provocateur who should be put on a leash. why go to all that trouble?
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