This PO's me

[Xavier]

Re: This PO's me

I applaud her for her honesty. I think the child would have suffered if she had continued. It sounds like she was not prepared. I don't think it was a race issue either. It takes courage to go out an adopt another child especially outside your race. Seems she had preconceptions and expectations that were not met. She had all girls before and this may have contributed to her expectation.

This may not apply to her but people expect children to be like "dogs" who love you unconditionally when they are babies. Not all babies are that way especially if there are serious issues. Does she really know what this baby has been through before she adopted him?

Sounds like the other family are well prepared and this little boy is in a better situation.

[Blackstar*]

Re: This PO's me

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-style: italic">let someone with more sense raise the child. </span></div></div>Indeed!

[Jazz]

Re: This PO's me

OK - I agree that the child is better off with the new parents - the best interest of the child should always be the tantamount objective.

What upset me is that she even felt she had an option to return the child - and treating the child as a thing to be returned rather than a child that she chose to bring into her house.
It seemed to me that the decision was all about her and what she was feeling rather than the child... of course the child nah go bond with her because her heart was never truly open to him - Kids can sense these things you know.
The whole thing nuh sit well with me and I hope that by publicizing this story that they do not start a trend of adoptive parents thinking that they have the option to &quot;test drive&quot; their adoptive kids.

[Xavier]

Re: This PO's me

I see your point Jazz. The thought of returning a child like a dress worn to a wedding.

[seemiyah]

Re: This PO's me

I saw her this morning on the Today show and really my thought was so they found him abandoned on the road, based on his physical conditions they knew he was neglected, and now he is being given away again?! The only thing is that he is still young and I figured that it would be like he was in foster care and is now adopted and that is how I made my peace with it, that and the fact they say he is doing well now.

[julie*mango]

Re: This PO's me

whatever her decision was..it was surely in his best interest as he is doing much better...better than on the street side in south america...

[seemiyah]

Re: This PO's me

Jazz based on the comments you are not the only one that thought race played a role in it:

shannon-1379864am i the only one who thinks race played a part in her decision to give up this black child. Im not saying this is the definite reason. But my gut reaction says this woman tried to be an Angelina Jolie and realized that she couldn't bond with a black child. I just find it hard to believe that a woman could not bond with a baby (perhaps an adopted child that was a teenager, but a baby???) I'm not buying it.

DT&quot;commentId&quot;:9810265,&quot;authorDomain &quot;:&quot;momto4under4&quot;}momto4under4My husband and I have four adopted children, all a different race. Our oldest (4) was with another family for over two years, and they just decided they didn't want him anymore. Meanwhile, this family has two other boys that were white, and our son isn't...my husband and I thought the same thing in that situation...

Thu Oct 1, 2009 8:41 AM EDT{&quot;commentId&quot;:9810523,&quot;authorDoma in&quot;:&quot;homesite123&quot;}leigh-1380001No, you are not the only one who thinks &quot;race played a part&quot; in this woman's decision to give up this &quot;black child&quot; that she has legally adopted. I came to this conclusion after seeing the picture of the child in a photo with her that was shown on the Today Show (my favorite morning news show). Additionally, as I listened to her on the Today Show this morning, I thought she &quot;didn't come clean&quot; as to the real reason she decided to give this black child up. After reading the essay this woman (not mother) wrote, I truly believe the reasons for her decision to adopt another child was &quot;selfish&quot;; it was not &quot;out of love&quot;.

Thu Oct 1, 2009 8:58 AM EDT{&quot;commentId&quot;:9811592,&quot;authorDoma in&quot;:&quot;claudinedanielle&quot;}Claudine-1380078If you read her comment when she hugged him good-bye, she stated she felt his &quot;soft skin and course hair&quot; Course hair, are you kidding me this woman should have never been given the opportunity to adobt this child nor any other one.

AND THEN THIS ONE:

elise-1379900Call me a cynic or whatever, but before I even saw the child, I said to myself, &quot;White folks, always wanting somebody else' baby to play with, sooth themselves, experiment with, you name it, this baby must be black, chinese, whatever. I walk into the kitchen and come back to a picture on the screen of Lisa - is that her name - her holding what appears to be a black child with his face blotted out. Pretty much what she did to him. She should stop trying to gain simpathy for her pathetic behavior and move on. Why is this news anyway. I've been black long enough to know that this is what fickle white women do. I work daily with families who couldn't pay to give their children back if they had a million dollars - well maybe. How did she do it?

[CeaBee]

Re: This PO's me

how did she do what?

[seemiyah]

Re: This PO's me

Huh?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ceabee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">how did she do what? </div></div>

[CeaBee]

Re: This PO's me

is ok

i was referring to the last comment in your post.

i guess they are asking how she could give up the child.

[Fyah]

Re: This PO's me

There is a psychological acceptance of the definition of what is considered a human being and unfortunately, some see a person as just a person and others see the characteristics that form the differences in each person.

I think it is unfortunate that this woman did not have the correct definition of a human being, and respect for all human beings, before venturing out to adopt a child.

I agree that she did him a favor by handing him over. I just wish people would see it and call it out for what it really is instead of trying to be so PC.

[Hugo]

Re: This PO's me

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Jazz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">hhmmm maybe you are right - why she nevva jus say &quot;touching his hair?&quot;

bway - before I make a decision to totally take over another pesons life mi haffe SURE say ah dat mi want to do - you don;t have the option to &quot;GIVE BACK&quot; yoru biological kids - this child should have been treated in teh same way - there should not be an option - a child is not a comoodity yuh can take for a test drive an then return becasue it doesn;t suit yoru specifications...

****KISSTEET**** </div></div>

Maybe she took him in to satisfy her own selfish longings and nothing to do with showing love and affection to an adopted child. Everything comes with a price, believe me. No matter how they hide their dishonesty, it comes back to bite them. She spoke from the heart with the coarse hair part, it is so plain to see she could have just mentioned the hair and not the texture.

[keesha]

Re: This PO's me

This is just so very sad .Seems this precious baby has never had a chance. If she and her family could not bond and give him the love he so very much deserves I think he is better off out of her home. I hope the new family will cherish this little angel and give him the love, security and feeling of belonging that is his right...