Duppy Tourism advocated for Jamaica...i kid u not

[evanovitch]

<span style="font-weight: bold">bwoy, u miss one day a yaad news n u miss nuff...so mi a chat to mi fren a yaad a minit a go (mi had was fi hangup fi investigate whe she seh).

she seh it come pon di news dat di doyenne of tourism, smaddy name McIntyre seh dat people abroad is interested in coming to Ja fi study we duppy so dem fi investigate having DUppy Tourism along wid all di ress...u know di Sports, Retirement, Health etc tourism...

so far mi cannot find di article but mi find dis yah response so it really seem to have happened</span>

[evanovitch]

Duppy tourism cometh!

Duppy tourism cometh!
Published: Sunday | August 1, 2010 Oxy Moron, Contributor

Arise, oh duppies who walk! Dust off your burial frocks and suits, put on what is left of your hair and prepare to meet the hordes of visitors who are about to descend upon the land to meet and mingle with you. For it was announced only a few days ago by the doyenne of Jamaican tourism that there is a great interest in Jamaican duppies by people from abroad.

Duppy laugh

It's true, so don't let out one big duppy laugh, lest you scare the potential visitors away. I, Oxy Moron, want to exhale a big laugh too, but I have to keep it in. Let's give the goodly lady the benefit of the doubt, <span style="font-weight: bold">but she needs to tell them that you, the Jamaican duppies, are not easy to handle,</span> and that if they had done their research, they would have found that you are quite formidable.

<span style="font-weight: bold">You are also known to be feisty and mischievous. </span>So you need to be on your best behaviour in the presence of your guests. Can you imagine these tourists, who have absolutely nothing to do, travelling all the way from foreign to see you and you frighten them away? You can't do that. Your living relatives need the foreign exchange that would be generated from such a ghostly venture.

Then, where is Gemima Agatha Innerarity of May Pen Cemetery when I need her most? Gemima, we all know that May Pen Cemetery is the final resting place for many Jamaicans from all walks of life, including many of those who lived by the gun. <span style="font-weight: bold">So, it would be a good place to visit on the duppy tourism landscape</span>. Thus, please inform those dead shottas that under no circumstance would tourist harassment be tolerated. This is not the time for thuggery. Donmanship is no longer fashionable, especially if you are behind bars or dead.

<span style="font-weight: bold">Gift of seeing duppies</span>
And for those Jamaicans who have the much sought after gift of seeing duppies, here is an opportunity for you to become duppy tour guides. In the nooks and crannies of this fair isle, over rivers and streams, through hills and valleys, dew-bedecked guinea grass and burying grounds, you shall take the curious visitors.

I can just hear you say in that phoney accent that some tour guides adopt, &quot;See a one-foot man ova there so, jooking food outta him teet dem wid macka. Yes, ma'am tourist, see him ova there so unda de cotton tree. Him ugly, eeh?&quot;

&quot;He's lovely!&quot; she would beam, and the duppy man would respond, &quot;A wha unoo a look pon mi fah? A drangcoh dead?&quot;

Done dead aready

&quot;No pay him no mine, nice lady, him done dead aready. See a whoman deh a come inna apron, a market she coming from dis time a night. Come outta de way, mine she push you dung. She was one terrible man-beater when she was alive ... All dat ole man deh. Though him dead him still sumoking. Bout him a roll jackass rope (tobacco) pon him leg. Him no hab no lot and part wid God. Him a de devil own riding horse ...&quot;

Never to be outdone, the conmen would be out in full force, hiding in bushes at night, pretending to be duppies. Picture the grins on the faces as they toss pebbles at the unsuspecting visitors. There they are in the privacy of their homes, practising the duppy laughs, making sure that man duppy and woman duppy don't laugh the same. And for those who weren't born with pleasant faces, now is the time to let the lack of your beauty shine. One look and the visitors would be convinced.

Then, the obeah men and women of St Thomas, Portland, St Mary, Clarendon and Westmoreland would have a field day. They, who are skilled in the art of raising the dead, would have more duppies than they could control. These parishes would be overrun by sundry duppies, but one thing for sure, their economies would be booming. Soon, suffering people from Kingston and St Andrew would be moving to these rural places to seek employment in the duppy-seeing business.

So, duppies, while you await the Judgement Day, you can still play your part in the advancement of the welfare of the whole human race. Help us to help ourselves; make yourselves available for all the world to see. Rise to the occasion and be a sport. There is life after death, after all.

[email protected]


It's true, so don't let out one big duppy laugh, lest you scare the potential visitors away.

[evanovitch]

di Jcan humane society can mek a money selling dawg

matta cause u done know seh dat a prerequisite fi seeing duppy is fi u use some good dawg matta...u know , di seepage from dem yeye...

[evanovitch]

Re: di Jcan humane society can mek a money selling dawg

mi a get een early pon di runnings...image mi a chat to mi girlfren n we a plot out weh wi know how nuff duppy...serious ting...

but mi a get fi know seh bad man tek ovah DoveCot...dem stanup a di gate an question all who a try go een...if u come from certain parts u cannot bury at Dovecot an dem charge entrance fee fi who a come visit...

[jah_yout]

Re: di Jcan humane society can mek a money selling dawg

someone who can si duppy haffi step pon yu foot when dem si one in order fi you see it

[Magician]

Re: di Jcan humane society can mek a money selling dawg

All last month one duppy a torment mi bredrin. All now mi ask him yesterday fi update pon de duppy situation. Him tell me seh everyting back to normal after him install 3 cactus inna de bedroom...

Is first time mi hear seh macca plant keep weh duppy.
A so?

[Peasie]

Re: di Jcan humane society can mek a money selling dawg

this is like a scene out of any one of Anthony Winkler's books. Lawd oh, mi belly

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I can just hear you say in that phoney accent that some tour guides adopt, &quot;See a one-foot man ova there so, jooking food outta him teet dem wid macka. Yes, ma'am tourist, see him ova there so unda de cotton tree. Him ugly, eeh?&quot;

&quot;He's lovely!&quot; she would beam, and the duppy man would respond, &quot;A wha unoo a look pon mi fah? A drangcoh dead?&quot;

&quot;No pay him no mine, nice lady, him done dead aready. See a whoman deh a come inna apron, a market she coming from dis time a night. Come outta de way, mine she push you dung. She was one terrible man-beater when she was alive ... All dat ole man deh. Though him dead him still sumoking. Bout him a roll jackass rope (tobacco) pon him leg. Him no hab no lot and part wid God. Him a de devil own riding horse ...&quot;</div></div>

[j-kid]

Re: di Jcan humane society can mek a money selling dawg

http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1294435-Paranormal-Tourism-and-Ghost-Hunting

[Peasie]

Re: di Jcan humane society can mek a money selling dawg

Think of all the career opportunities for Jamaicans:

<ul style="list-style-type: disc">[*]duppy tour guide [*]duppy conqueror [*]duppy reenactor [/list]

[jah_yout]

Re: di Jcan humane society can mek a money selling dawg

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Peasie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Think of all the career opportunities for Jamaicans:

<ul style="list-style-type: disc">[*]duppy tour guide [*]duppy conqueror [*]duppy reenactor [/list]
</div></div>

<span style="text-decoration: line-through">duppy tour guide</span> : taken
<span style="text-decoration: line-through">duppy conqueror</span> : taken
duppy reenactor : hmmmmm

[Suesumba]

Re: di Jcan humane society can mek a money selling dawg

duppy rentadread
duppy go-go dancer
duppy dance hall queen