Is This Common

[remo]

Re: Is This Common

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CeaBee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">[quote=Kia][quote=Peppe
send the $ equivalent. it doesn't sound like flowers is what is needed now. I think it's practical rather than tacky </div></div>

Agreed

[Pepper]

Re: Is This Common

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CyberPhobic</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Dis mite be new to our &quot;culture&quot; but a lang time peeple fram all bout a do dat. In fact, &quot;in lieu of&quot; a lang time tings.
: </div></div>

Me not asking about &quot;in lieu of&quot; in general. I am asking about asking people to send money to the deceased man's son, rather than a charitable organization.

[H_O]

Re: Is This Common

send 5o bucks and shrug it off.
if you send flowers FTD method going to cost cost you $100

[tuffstuff]

Re: Is This Common

meeda send di $$, but dem shoulda did set up a bank fund feet nuh look so tacky. U nuh just send check to 'Pookie Johnson'- dat look a way. If dem dweet dat way, then it more comeen like itta go straight to teh kid (whether that actually happens or not).

[Gen]

Re: Is This Common

people do all sorts of tacky things today

the usual in lieu of to the cancer foundation or any charity named by the family is common

do what you comfortable with

[tuffstuff]

Re: Is This Common

mi just read the original post and see where Peppa said they did set up a fund in the son's name. Y that any worse than cancer society or cow sweat research foundation?

[Peasie]

Re: Is This Common

I would send a check. That is not tacky. What <span style="font-style: italic">is</span> tacky is asking for money. But that is just me.

Also &quot;in lieu of flowers&quot; is an overused phrase and, really, the bereaved may actually like some personal token, such as flowers. When my husband died last year, I received many flowers, all were special to me. Some folks sent money - it is an old African-American tradition, I believe. It was their way of saying they cared. My mother-in-law had a tradition of enclosing a book of postage stamps in sympathy cards she sent. She believed there would be so much letter writing by the bereaved family and having extra stamps would be appreciated.

So in Mr. PZ's death announcement it said, &quot;His favorite charity is [Name of Charity]&quot; and not &quot;in lieu of flowers&quot; so that people could decide to do whatever they wanted (and I didn't want to solicit for any charity).

Do whatever you feel would be meaningful to your friend, Pepper

[britisha]

Re: Is This Common

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CyberPhobic</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Pepper</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">That is tacky. What do you want to do? Are you close to this friend? Will you be attending the services? </div></div>

Not close enough that I would travel to Georgia to attend the services. But I would send her a card, and would have considered flowers or some other gift basket. I never met her brother, so it would never dawn on me to send his child a check. *sigh* </div></div>

Dis mite be new to our &quot;culture&quot; but a lang time peeple fram all bout a do dat. In fact, &quot;in lieu of&quot; a lang time tings.

Mi nuh tink it tacky. It is juss a sign of di times. Peeple naah wipe dem mout a grung an sey wha dem want nuh more. If yuh aguh spenn $50 pan flowaz minus delivery and den it aguh juss dead awwf, nutt'n nuh wrang widd sending di sayme mount a money to di pickney fund.

It mekk nuff sense tuh mi. </div></div>



Nat tacky and not new tuh di culture eidah.....years ago a yaawd, ppl used to &quot;pass the saucer&quot; when someone died...whatevah is collected the family is at liberty to do what they want to do with it.

Flowers are beautiful but they fade eventually, hard cash to help the child[ren] is more practical.

The Africans on my job collect thousands of dollars for their folks when someone passes. It is one of the biggest sign of sympathy, and some feel bad if they can't contribute liberally..

Other cultures do it as well...di Russians and Jews.

Ppl need to get back to dere roots or learn dem culcha hiff dem noh know it.....[<span style="font-style: italic">Jack Mandorah, minoh choose none</span>]

<span style="color: #3333FF">...in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path...give thanks.</span>