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Larry May Become My New Favourite!
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her classby saying, “Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!”
After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, “Do you think you're stupid, Larry?”
“No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”
Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. “Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked.
“To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
“What's the matter”, asked Larry “Giving up?”
The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?”
Larry quickly replied, “NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!”
Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they sawpictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a anted person.
“Yes” said the policeman. “The detectives want very badly to capture him.”
Larry asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?”
Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?”
His father replied, “Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.”
Larry, looking worried, said, “Dad, I think the Milkman wants to buy Mom .....”
As Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport, President Obama strides to a warm
and dignified reception from the Queen. They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the
edge of central London, where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage
hitched to six white horses. They continue towards Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining the route; all is going well.
Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earthshattering
fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart
shakes the coach, but the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the
incident.
The Queen turns to President Obama with her eyes watering, "Mr. President, please accept my apologies ... I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."
Obama politely replied: "Your Majesty, please do not give the matter another
thought... Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses".
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her classby saying, “Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!”
After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, “Do you think you're stupid, Larry?”
“No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”
Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. “Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked.
“To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
“What's the matter”, asked Larry “Giving up?”
The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?”
Larry quickly replied, “NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!”
Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they sawpictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a anted person.
“Yes” said the policeman. “The detectives want very badly to capture him.”
Larry asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?”
Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?”
His father replied, “Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.”
Larry, looking worried, said, “Dad, I think the Milkman wants to buy Mom .....”
As Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport, President Obama strides to a warm
and dignified reception from the Queen. They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the
edge of central London, where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage
hitched to six white horses. They continue towards Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining the route; all is going well.
Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earthshattering
fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart
shakes the coach, but the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the
incident.
The Queen turns to President Obama with her eyes watering, "Mr. President, please accept my apologies ... I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."
Obama politely replied: "Your Majesty, please do not give the matter another
thought... Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses".