The apalogy meeting

[Wendy]

Just had that "apology meeting" with that co-worker that erupted last week
So he had to apologize to me with the Branch Chief and our Manger in a room

... aaaaawkward !!

Did the apology sound sincere ?.. Yes in a way ...but unu eva hear people a apologize and throw in a BUT or an excuse, then you start to question the sincerity?

Anyhoo.. mi look him in the face an told him it cannot happen again and when I am reporting issues to him it is not to personally attack him but it is just that I am simple doing my job.

Then after mi mek mi lang speech come to find out after all dat yelling and hissy fit im was carrying on wid, he fixed the issue 2 days ago. Might I add, the same issue my boss was going to mek slide to protect im "sensitivities."

Anyway, mi going to do what mi did come here to do and it is to do mi work (When mi nat iggling) and have a professional relationship with these folks. Friendship is not someting mi afta. So mi mek up mi mine fi limit di smile up business wid im cause im doan have no respect and one ting people cyaan tek back is the spoken word. He has demonstrated that he does not think much of me as an immigrant and dat says a lot about who he truly is.

So apology accepted and I am moving on ..... professionally of course

[Seveen]

Re: The apalogy meeting

i hope you said something about not discussing your race sex color or creed again - to put the whole company on watch about discrimination?

i saw that as the main issue

he can rant and rave about his code until he's blue in the face

it's up to the users to ultimately accept it or not

[St_Bess]

Re: The apalogy meeting

Ah Wendy you a young bud you will get many more of those apologies. Accept his apology at face value but watch him like a hawk because him no have no home training and yes dem still think we climb banana tree like monkey. I still remember my first one and that was in the 70's before HR reporting and political correctness. This young lady told me that I should go back to where I come from that her generation was brought here in chains from Africa they had no choice but I should go back to my country on de banana boat. Yes, she was black (african american was not being used then) but claimed that she had native american in har. I accepted her apology and we became good friends.

[Wendy]

Re: The apalogy meeting

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Seveen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">i hope you said something about not discussing your race sex color or creed again - to put the whole company on watch about discrimination?

i saw that as the main issue

he can rant and rave about his code until he's blue in the face

it's up to the users to ultimately accept it or not </div></div>

It was the main issue for me indeed Seveen. As I said up top dat a wan a di main ting weh mek mi si im differently on a whole.

No, I did not stress discussing my race or creed.. my remarks to him were in a general context of not tolerating disrespect from him under no circumstance

[Wendy]

Re: The apalogy meeting

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: St_Bess</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Ah Wendy you a young bud you will get many more of those apologies. Accept his apology at face value but watch him like a hawk because him no have no home training and yes dem still think we climb banana tree like monkey. I still remember my first one and that was in the 70's before HR reporting and political correctness. This young lady told me that I should go back to where I come from that her generation was brought here in chains from Africa they had no choice but I should go back to my country on de banana boat. Yes, she was black (african american was not being used then) but claimed that she had native american in har. I accepted her apology and we became good friends. </div></div>

**sigh** I could not believe it went there! In all my years of working I neva experience enybady come to mi face wid dat kina vitriol. And then you have some people who try to insult your intelligence by masking dem contempt for you in a joke. Like im wan day when the subject of INS data came about: &quot;<span style="font-style: italic">Oh you know you foreigners know all the INS loop holes to get in this country &quot; (giggle, giggle) </span>

[R_C]

Re: The apalogy meeting

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: WeNdY</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> ...but unu eva hear people a apologize and throw in a BUT or an excuse, then you start to question the sincerity? </div></div>

Oh yes. Wen dem seh, for example, &quot;I'm sorry that you felt insulted&quot; or &quot;If you felt upset about something that I said, I am truly sorry about that&quot;.

What they are doing is conditioning their apology on how someone reacted to what they said, NOT on the fact that what they said was offensive and out of order.

[Gen]

Re: The apalogy meeting

really ? suh him a nuh farriner too old teef

[X]

Re: The apalogy meeting

(((WenDy))) a dont know what fi seh..
wi come yah fi Drink Milk, nuh count cow.. as long as yuh a drink yuh milk, nuh watch nuh face..

[Wendy]

Re: The apalogy meeting

You feel mi R_C. When someone claim that they are apologizing an go off in a tangent with excuses and lies I know from that point on they meant what was said and attempting to appease you just to get over on you.

If yuh sarry seh yuh sarry an done.. Dat tek about one sentence.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: R_C</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: WeNdY</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> ...but unu eva hear people a apologize and throw in a BUT or an excuse, then you start to question the sincerity? </div></div>

Oh yes. Wen dem seh, for example, &quot;I'm sorry that you felt insulted&quot; or &quot;If you felt upset about something that I said, I am truly sorry about that&quot;.

What they are doing is conditioning their apology on how someone reacted to what they said, NOT on the fact that what they said was offensive and out of order.

</div></div>

[Wendy]

Re: The apalogy meeting

Yes pleXxed ..mi jus deh on yah a drink mi 2% milk

[mountaingal]

Re: The apalogy meeting

well done for taking this whole incident through to resolution, Wendy. it couldnt have been easy professionally or personally. glad u both at the point where at least you can continue working together.

[Wendy]

Re: The apalogy meeting

Thanks Mgee.. I needed to get to this point because I do have to work with him ...and having to do so under tension and in a hostile environment would not be productive for either one of us.

Have I seen a difference in his tone towards me since the meeting? Yes. But let's hope he keeps that tone just where it needs to be for as long as I work here.