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Facety Matey
with Ragashanti
Greeeeeeeeeetings!!!!!!! Bless up unu self Mix Up massive an big respek to mi Tambareen Fambily. And of course, propa respek to all linky-linkylisteners pon Tambareen Radio ova Mix Up Yaad (mixupyaad.com).
Well, a mi last article dis before di big show Sunday, Mix Up an Blenda!!! Unu done know seh a Ranny Williams Entertainment Centre di shellings a guh gwaan. It's all about di classic Mix Up an Blenda crazy games dem, Bax Dung (where di woman dem get fi bax dung di man dem, an di man dem get $1,000 fi every bax dem tek), Jolly wid di Lolly, Bust a Kiss, and Screaming Orgasm. And of course, we have di new game dem: mek sure unu come prepare fi enta di Fluffy vs Slimmaz Lingerie Modelling Competition and di Bruk it Dung Dance Competition to di Vegas hit song, wid di winna getting US$1,000. We a guh also rinse di Sexy Sour Sop Eating competition. An big up di artistes an comedians dem weh a guh perform, Vegas, Tony Matterhorn, Lisa Hype, Pamputae, Elva, Lemon and Boasy Bwoy Floyd. A mad sitin people! A bare craziniss gwaan a da show ya! It guaranteed fi mek yuh laugh till yuh belly bottom weak. Showtime a 8 p.m. Mek sure unu fahwud, cause it a mad fi real. Mix Up an Blenda!!!
Awright, medz dem mix up ya:
Horlicks Swipa
Mix Up Big Up to di bredda weh did a bun out di swiping ting, but staat dweet in a most interesting way: him use HORLICKS wen him a do him ting! Yeah, a HORLICKS mi seh!! A woman bust it pon mi show. Di bredda mussi couldn't manage di natural taste an decide fi sweeten up di ting. Nooooo sah!! Mi nuh wrang him though, cause if him a guh do dat den nuttin nuh wrang if him mek di effort fi mek sure it taste good.
A different mix up did have a shotta a use condense milk. All who listen mi show unu memba da one deh? Den him a guh threaten di girl wid him gun seh shi betta mek sure seh she nuh tell nobady. Dem two mix up ya just reinforce weh nuff a we know by now, seh nuff a dem man deh weh a walk roun an a bun out dis an a bun out dat a di biggest swipa dem outa road.
Entertainer Con
Mix Up Big Up to di entertainer who mek big plans fi meet hot gyal a hotel a farin fi sort har out. But wen him turn up di gyal is nowhere to be found. Di entertainer call har till him weak. Him phone all run out a charge. Him end up stay a di hotel by himself di whole night and den change him flight fi leave di next day. All wen him touch back ya, an a call di girl him nuh get har. Is like shi jus disappear offa di face a di Earth.
But wa di entertainer neva know is dat di B did jus a con out a airfare fram him. Wen shi did reach shi link up wid anneda bredda an check een wid a different name inna di same hotel wid him. So while di entertainer deh inna di hotel a sleep all by himself, di woman weh him did fi meet, did inna anneda room inna di same hotel a tek some shell dung sort out fram anneda man. Fram di get go di woman did waan link up wid har man, but neva have di airfare, so dats why shi plan an execute di con pon di entertainer. See it deh, at di end a di day, woman always smarter dan man.
Facety Matey
Mix Up Big Up to di matey weh see di man a put holiday money fi di wife inna a envelope and quietly sneak a letta inna di envelope. Wen di wife get har money an see di letta an read it, shock nearly kill har. Di matey was able fi tell har weh every mole an birthmark deh pon har body, an class har up bout how har sort-out pap dung. Di matey all tell har say a she did decide how much money shi did fi get an dat a she count di money. Di matey end by leaving har numba an tell di wife seh shi fi call har an tell har tanx, cause if she did waan shi coulda mek di wife nuh get NO money.
Unu see how some woman cold an facety. Da matey deh a luu. She end up a get di man inna one whole heap a hot wata.
Awright people, mi a cut ya now. Unu have a wonderful Crismuss. An of course, all a unu who a fahwud a Mix Up an Blenda will definitely be enjoying unu Crismus fi real. See unu Sunday a Ranny Williams Entertainment Centre. Bless up.
Reach Ragashanti at [email protected] or PO Box 5866, Liguanea PO, Kingston 6.
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